Should I stop BFing?

[Zarinea]

I know there isn't a single answer to this, but here goes....

DD is 14 months. She eats solids well and will drink cows milk from a cup (she would never take formula).

She BFs when she wakes in the morning, and sometimes when she's upset or tired.

I've loved BFing, but I'm starting to feel touched out, and I hate the way she claws at my top when she's after milk. Saying that last bit makes me feel dreadful! I also want to stop before she's big enough to really ask for it because I imagine that's tough.

On the other hand... it's only once or twice a day and she clearly loves it.

If you've fed an older baby/ young toddler, WWYD?

Do you want to stop breastfeeding?

A: yes - then stop.

A: no - then don’t.

The trouble is I don't know! I want to stop 'soon', but that 'soon' keeps shifting backwards.

I didn’t last as long as you but was feeling super touched out and it was affecting us.

I do feel so so much better since stopping, we still cuddle and he still looks at my face for ages whilst playing with my hair/face. It’s still cute just without the nipple tweak sensation I started to hate.

Try a day or two, I doubt your supply will dry up that quickly so you could always go back if you don’t like it?

I’m still going at 17 months. I’m sometimes done with it, but stopping seem ls too much effort, and with Covid I feel it might do her some good, especially when I’m vaccinated (that might be nonsense) so going to keep going for now.
It’s 2-3 feeds here and it’s still so useful for teething etc so more positives than negatives for us.

I fed Dd until she was 2.5. I started thinking around 18 months that I wanted to stop, but honestly couldn’t be bothered to deal with the fuss and upset!

I knew for certain at 2.5, I was sick to bloody death of it tbh! The age did make it easier as I could explain there was no milk, and Dd could be distracted easily enough with something else.

If you want to stop, stop. Don’t feel a shred of guilt.

I'm in the same situation with my 18 month old but I have to continue because he has allergies that make breastfeeding his only option for milk right now and peadeatrician pretty much said I had to.

My advice would be to wait until lockdown is over. I've found he's wanting more and more since Xmas and that's because we can't go anywhere, I cant destrsct him enough. But once we are out and about a lot more I have no doubt that he'll drop to evening and night feeds only.

It's up to you. I've been dried up for months but my 2.5 year old still likes to latch on and nurse in the mornings and evenings.

I stopped at 15 months because I was totally touched out and I wanted a break before trying for #2.

I went to 26 months with DD2.

Stopping BF didn't change how close we were, still had a lot snuggles in the morning. It also freed me from bedtime, which was great for both me and DH.

Thanks, everyone. And particularly Micky- that's just the sort of thing I was wondering about

I stopped at 14 months and 15 months with 2nd. Like you I could have carried on but I was getting slightly fed up and also didn't want a child demanding and asking for it! At 13 months I was giving a morning and evening feed, I stopped the morning feed first, that was easy, we just got up went straight downstairs and had milk in a cup. Then after 2 weeks I dropped the evening feed, it was fine he wasn't bothered at all! Same with the second one and I had worried he would miss the evening one more but he didn't. I then made sure during that time to hide my boobs from them for a few weeks!! Both were fine and so much easier than I had thought. I also enjoyed the cuddles better as they were more loving, snuggles for stories, etc not just FEED me! Just try dropping one feed and see how you feel, you can always keep the other feed going for longer if you find you don't want to stop!

I stopped at 13 months. It was down to morning and evening but I just wanted my body to be mine again. And he was becoming so conscious (he spoke really early) by then that I was worried it would be harder if he was older and could articulate wanting it. He was absolutely fine stopping. He’d never had a bottle and was already drinking cows milk from a cup during the day. You’ve done amazingly well to stick it out this long. No shame in stopping!

What is touched out?

I've been feeling really touched out since DD was 2.6 (I was totally fine with it up to then), however DD has other ideas. She is 3.1 now and since her birthday has only had one feed a day (to sleep). I told her on her birthday that big girls don't have boobie in the morning and she took it really well, but she is desperately holding on to the bedtime feed.

I think if you are feeling touched out now, start slowly working towards stopping as it probably won't happen straight away.

I am still going at 2.5 years, but only once a day and often zero, as he’s self-weaning now. He’s never clawed, though I know what you mean because his sister did it. He’s very calm and easy. He spoke early and therefore has been asking for a long time, but the flip side is that he also understands and accepts no.
Since about 14–15 months I have fed him only on my terms, so never outside the house and only first thing in the morning and last thing before bed (now only in the morning). That gave me the feeling of control and meant that I could wear what I liked.
I also started ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ and removed some of the cues to remind him about it, which also reduced how much he wants it.
I probably would have stopped a long time ago but he’s needed the reassurance when his routines kept changing due to covid measures.

@NigellaSeed

What is touched out?

When you spend all day being touched and fauned over by little hands and you just want everyone to get the fuck off you for 2 mins.

I fed to 22 months. When they get older enough to ask you can tell them not now! To be honest feeds were mainly at bed time.