A breastfeeding support question - how can those offering the support do it best?

[hunkermunker]

What questions should a midwife (or other HCP) be asking you to establish how you feel about infant feeding, in order to provide the right level of information and support for you?

Personally, I think not enough emphasis is put on how a woman feels about breastfeeding - is she very keen to do it, did she have a bad experience last time, etc, etc.

Is there anything else? What would you have found/did you find most useful wrt bfing? Is there anything that's a definite no (I'm assuming judgement of any sort is Not Good here)?

Fio - one of the main things we got told at antenatal class was that bf-ing was this amazing, nurturing experience, that you have this special bond with your baby etc etc...the trouble is, that not everyone feels that way, and i was surprised to find myself almost resenting ds for needing yet another feed! i think balance is the key - telling women that, yes, bf-ing is an amazing thing, that it's the most precious thing you can have with your baby, but it's not great all the time. i think that in my antenatal class, bf-ing was promoted with rose tinted spectacles, and i certainly didn't find it was like that the whole time!!

not criticising, just trying to put the other side forward!!

i also echo whoever it was who said that in the early days, you need to know that you'll be feeding all the time! if someone had said to me, "Urban, mate, do yourself a favour, get a ring sling, carry that baby round with you, let him have the boob whenever he wants it," it would've made the early days much easier. i think however, that we're so ingrained in our thinking of 4 hourly feeds, and this GF crap of getting them to sleep through, getting them into a routine, that it goes beyond healthcare and into the very mindset we have as a society. not very helpful there, hunker, sorry.

Hi all

I wish I'd had more information and explanation about what was happening in the early stages of BF no.1 - non-stop feeding in first 48 hours, growth spurts, cluster feeding, latching on properly... I had one good BF counsellor who came to my house but this was via NCT - nothing of any use first time round from the health services

I think all MWs and HVs should have to have specialist BF training since they're usually the ones who women have most contact with.

Second baby I had a fantastic consultation with a hospital BF specialist who corrected some of my overconfident, 2nd baby bad habits!

But I've always found much more accurate and timely help from support groups online like this one, from websites such as kellymom, BFN, Jacknewman.com, NCT & LLL...

BFN and NCT helplines have also been invaluable - IMO the women who staff those are fantastic, knowledgable and supportive - just the right mix of information and emotional support. I'm not sure why the two helplines don't pool resources? Would be fantastic if they could offer help 24 hours though obviously it would be v difficult but I always found the middle of the night would be the hardest time...

Why not a course for DHs as well? Someone could teach men/partners what to say/do at the appropriate time.

i have to add as well, that no-one recommended GF to me, my own mother bf me on demand, in my AN class the mw said how much she disliked seeing GF books in new mums' houses, and MN was going through the legal case at the time, so i think i must have got the idea that babies feed every 4 hours from my friends who had ff babies. so i agree it needs to start with healthcare profession, but it needs to be deeper and go further than that as well.

Yep, very, very helpful.

Thank you.

I think one thing is very, very clear. Breastfeeding support needs to be tailored in a way that's not necessarily possible from the NHS - clinics are busy, not all midwives have it as a high priority, etc, etc.

Perhaps there needs to be more emphasis on "owning" your own breastfeeding experience where possible? Is that something you'd feel comfortable with? So given information, the opportunity to discuss how you feel about it all - actually, hang on, I wrote something a while back about what I'd like to see in NHS bf info - I'll find it again.

The most helpful thing I found was the La Leche support worker handing out a phone number that you could call - I phoned her first thing in the morning after I had problems feeding DD in the night and she was able to give advice when I needed it and respond very quickly.

I think the most unhelpful thing was the comment that you get everywhere and from hv's etc that 'breastfeeding doesn't hurt and if it hurts you are not doing it right'. In the early days breastfeeding does hurt (esp when feeding every half hour) I was really sore and because of this advice kept thinking I must be doing it wrong but I wasn't - after a few weeks it doesn't hurt but in the beginning it does!

"I don't think it gives too rosy a picture - not quite. It gives quite a clinical, soulless approach to breastfeeding, which I guess you'd expect from NHS literature.

I think what I want from bfeeding literature is probably:
*
Look, breastmilk's best for babies, it just is, OK? Lots of clever people have worked it out, so just accept it. Nobody's getting at you if you don't want to breastfeed, it's just a fact.

Now, getting that breastmilk into your newborn may well be a doddle, but it might also be trickier than you would imagine, so let's explore a bit about the normal course of breastfeeding and some of the problems you might encounter.

After all, if we do it now, while you're not in turmoil from the most incredibly overwhelming physical and emotional experience you're ever like to have, you'll be better equipped to succeed with breastfeeding.

Before we go any further though, these are some numbers you might like to make a note of:

National Childbirth Trust Breastfeeding Line 0870 444 8708
La Leche League Telephone Helpline 0845 120 2918
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers helpline 0870 401 7711
Breastfeeding Network Supporterline 0870 900 8787

Put these in your labour bag, dial them into your birth partner's mobile, engrave them on the insides of your eyelids, just remember them. And if you get stuck, use them. You might also want to take a look at www.kellymom.com
*

And then going on to talk about the normal course of breastfeeding, including growth spurts, etc - and talk about what are perceived to be problems alongside that, as well as talking about some of the things that ARE problems and how to go about overcoming them (such as mastitis, thrush, etc).

Then maybe some discussion of the different reasons women bottlefeed, either from birth, from soon after birth, mixed feeding, etc, etc - but with information about how bottles from early on can impact on breastmilk supply.

Some stuff about the virgin gut.

And some stuff about how it's a good idea to explore what's important to the reader about feeding their baby - how do they feel about breastfeeding not working out for them, etc.

How about that?"

From this thread a while ago.

More info on what help is available. I was bfing, got lots of support from here, bf lines and kellymom, but it turns out there was a bf support group that met once a week 5 mons from my house. No-one mentioned it, not the mw, HV, even the local BFC at my GP surgery. It would have been really helpfuil to be able to speak to someone face to face in those early days. As it happened, I didn't have major probs and I hada supportive husband so we managed.

A lot of stuff others have written about what they wish they had been told was all stuff I had read in these 2 books which just shows you how much there is to learn about bf before you actually get down to the practical application....................

CG, can you remember which books they were?

I have also never been offered ante-natal classes with DD2 or this pregnancy - what because ive done it once so dont need to do it again?!

I have read 2 books on BF - first one was the NCT Breastfeeding For Beginners - hated it. So clinical and not very informative other than the "workings" of BF

Second one - "So THATS what they are for" and although american, I am thoroughly enjoying it as it is very lighthearted and from a personal viewpoint rather than clinical.

If there are any other books i need to get out of the library in the next 3 weeks someone tell me quick!

I really can't remember - not NCT ones though - this was 6 years ago and I bought them 2nd hand I shall go have a hunt on 2nd hand books, I donated them to our local toy library

JARM if you can lay your hands on a copy of 'Bestfeeding' it's worth a look.

They must explain that it can be hard to get the baby to feed and it is common for the baby to lose a lot of weight in the early days. I feel that all too often they try to paint a rosy picture as they don't want to put people off and then you encounter problems and you don't realise that they can be overcome. I gave up breastfeeding at 2 weeks as ds lost so much weight and just wouldn't feed from me, I thought that I had no option but to give up. It is only after joining MN when ds was 7 months old that I realise that these were common problems and could have been overcome.

found one of them - Bestfeeding: Getting Breastfeeding Right For You by Chloe Fisher, Suzanne Arms Mary Renfrew (Paperback - 1990) the other one I'm pretty sure was Breastfeeding Your Baby (National Childbirth Trust Guides) by Jane Moody, Karen Hogg, Britten, and Jane (Paperback - 6 April 1998) they definately complemented each other - gave different angles. One had lots of peoples personal experiences - family issues, weaning grief, not liking it etc etc etc nursing strike, lack of supply, growth spurts etc

Reply to JARM: Another vote for 'Bestfeeding' (Renfrew, Fisher and Arms) or Mary Smales' NCT Book of Breastfeeding. In the cold dark watches of the night when all was pain and bewilderment, they nudged me in the right direction and eventually we cracked it!

JARM - What Mothers Do (even when it looks like nothing) by Naomi Stadlen is a lovely book, and not all about bf-ing but also about mothering in general (i know this is no3, but it's nice anyway )

also The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding is a good book as well!