Am I mad to give up breastfeeding?

[Wudgy]

Baby is 6mths and ebf, no big breastfeeding issues this time around - much easier than first baby who had to be supplemented due to low weight gain etc.
Baby won’t take a dummy and Since the 4 month sleep regression has slept in with me and wants latched on allll night long. I’m tired, back sore etc very morning. Any attempts to settle her in her crib are futile apart from Initial bedtime when she goes into bed and falls asleep herself but from first wake up 10:15pm she won’t go back in.
Contemplating putting baby in her own room this week to hope the initial stretch of sleep lengthens as maybe she’s waking because she hears/smells me at 10:15 ?
Secondly if I stopped breastfeeding would she sleep better and start to take a dummy or am I mad thinking of stopping currently the only thing that gets her to sleep?! Not to meant the health benefits etc too
Would love if dh could try settle her but currently she screams the house down and other children awake!
Anyone else give up breastfeeding and see an improvement in sleep or am I clutching at straws and should just continue as we are. Thanks for any advice or help.

I had this dilemma although a bit past 6 months, and we weren't really co-sleeping (next to me) she did know I was there and wasn't afraid to ask 😂

I took the view that going in her own room and waking me up 2 or 3 times a night was still preferable to being on tap 24/7. She did struggle to go back into the cot sometimes but I found offering boob again til she really dropped off solved it. If she woke up past 5am wanting feeding then she came back in with us.

After a while the night wake-ups went down to once, and now she probably feeds in the night once a week if that, usually teeth or poorly. Haven't had to do any sleep training as such, just a steady logical persistence.

Putting her in her own room had the biggest impact and waking up every three hours initially didn't last long and was still better than having her fussing about within earshot all night. I still feed to sleep but she self-settles now at 19 months.

So long story short, go for it. You can always change back if it isn't working for you after trying for a week or so. Better to do it while still on mat leave too I think!

I totally forgot to say that we did all this without stopping bf and she still feeds to sleep at night. But as long as fed and healthy, that's up to you how you do it. I just couldn't be arsed with bottles!

Same dilemma as you, we even paid a sleep consultant hundreds to help and she did with lots of things but couldn’t help with multiple night wakings. We’re talking 8-10 wakings every night since he was 4 months old, he’s 8 months next week.

I was exhausted living on only 1.5 hours’ sleep at a time so last week I decided to take back control of my titties. Just stopped BFing at night, still give lots of cuddles and a dummy, I even offer water I case he’s thirsty but never breast.

We’re on day 5 now and he’s started sleeping longer stretches, I actually wake up more than him now because I’m so used to it. He’s still in cot next to bed and it takes and hour to resettle him sometimes but being persistent looks like it’s working.

He is eating three meals and two snacks a day though and has around 200ml of water too so plenty of food/liquid. I’d be hesitant to try night weaning before this.

Now I feed downstairs only, and the before bed feed is expressed in a bottle from DP.

Good luck, I know the exhaustion well☹️

I should add I still fed him myself in the day, sometimes for naps too but that is for an easy life

Thank you both so much! @Heyha that’s great moving rooms helped, you’ve given me confidence to try and as you say can always switch back ! I’d love just a few hrs to stretch out in bed at start of night even if she joined later in the night .

@FTEngineerM haha take back control of the titties- that’s exactly how I feel I worry the older she gets it’ll be harder so good to hear your experience and maybe once she’s established on food I can consider water snd cuddles but at the min I know she will still need milk.
I’m part of a breastfeeding group where they normalise very very frequent wakings and it’s like a competition - oh don’t complain your baby wakes you 10 times a night mine wakes 20 times etc etc so feel like there is no advice to help change things just get on with it!
Thanks for your replies , il stick with the breastfeeding but move her into own room to see how that goes first!

@FTEngineerM@Heyha wee update!
Thanks for the encouragement to put her in own room-started Friday night- the first night where she cried every time I left her after a feed but since I just go in feed her when she wakes and set her down again- offer her a dummy and sometimes takes it sometimes not - looks around and falls asleep with no crying! Can’t believe it, she’s still waking 3 times from 6:30pm-6:30am usually 11,2,4.30 then up at 6.30 ish but biggest positive is that I have also put her into the cot for naps and she’s taken every naps in there since whereas before we were using the Pram for nearly every sleep!!
Hopefully once she starts fully on solids and I know she’s full I can start to lengthen the sleep times and offer her water or a cuddle only but for now happy she has transitioned in and is settled in there! Thanks for your help!

YYYAAAYY that’s amazing, well done. That’s huge that every nap is in the cot too and all done relatively quickly. Imagine where you’ll be in a month or two

It’s more manageable when there are only a few regular wake ups.

We just had our first ever full night with no wake ups, been up since 5:30 because I’m not used to so much sleep!

Oh that's amazing, well done for going for it! That's the biggest steps done, now to wait and see which of her night feeds she drops first (can I place a bet on 4.30am please 😂)

Six months was when I’d had enough with my first. I wanted my body back !

@Heyha would be amazing if she dropped that one the further the night goes the
More tired I am and harder to get up!

@DinosaurDiana absolutely I think I am just ready to start trying to get back to some normality, do exercise- try lose some weight properly and prep myself for going back to work. Have started a evening before bed bottle and going good so far.

@Wudgy I am in the same boat as you were, with my 6 month old. She’s also been biting recently, so having the boob in her mouth for much of the night is now really scary as well as exhausting. Delighted to read of your cot success! A question: did you have to leave your baby to cry that first night? And gave you gas to since at all? We’re first timers and a bit pathetic about crying... But probably need to toughen up a little. How does she wake you when she wants feeding in the night now? Is that crying? I’m a bit scared of baby being harder to settle once she’s been awake and howled, as we mainly dream feed at the mo. Any advice gratefully received!

@101things
Hi!
I was quite fortunate that my baby always went to bed well in the evening with little/ no crying so that first night in her cot I popped her in and she shouted / cried ( not screaming) for 5 mins- I timed it and stood at the door and would have gone in if she had escalated to screaming but could tell it was just giving off a little. Now when she wakes during the night I hear her on the monitor- it’s her shuffling about shouting but not full on crying as I get up to her straight away. BreastFeed her and to get her off the boob I pop a dummy in her mouth ( mamdummy) . She’s never taken a dummy until now and just has it for that transfer from nipple in the middle of the night as she was so used to sleeping latched on. So maybe give that a try- you could be surprised as I was!
She usually sucks it a few mins and spits out it sometimes goes to sleep with it in her mouth.
There has been no crying going back into cot after feeds apart from the first evening and I just shhhhhh her and left her ( watched in monitor ) but it was never screaming and never more than 1/2 mins.
Dummy is first tip.
Second is- introducing a Lovey or a wee comforter , again didn’t use these until now. I got a velvet lovey and cut it In Half so it’s small and can’t go over her face- wore that against her cheek while breastfeeding her for a few days and every single time I put her into cot or down at night I put that lovey to her cheek and she seems to snuggle against it or hold it in her hand. Worth a go!
I will say that I am definitely much more tired getting up to go in and feed her but I’m happy she’s out of my bed and I believe overtime her waking will decrease 🤞🏻🤞🏻 I generally bring her into my bed for a lie down feed about 5:30/6am snd we both doze until everyone else up.
Really encourage you to be brave and try, say to yourself it’ll only be a few nights for her to get used to it and then you’ll both hopefully feel better. My back and neck much better now not cosleeping!

@Wudgy thank you so much! I really appreciate all the info, and am going to try to be braver, though she does usually cry a LOT at bedtime, so not sure how she’ll take it! Might leave if another week as am also currently trying to cut down on bf so don’t want too many changes/headaches at once. The big cot is in our room but quite far away so imagine I will hear her waking... So happy for your success! Better sleep sounds amazing, even if you’re getting a little less, and to transition to the cot is such a triumph!