Apologies in advance - this is going to be a long post but I need some advice. I feel so overwhelmed and feel im getting to breaking point. I don’t know what to do about it anymore - I’ll give the whole story so it makes sense.
I have a beautiful 9 week old son. I am quite anxious anyway - he was conceived after almost 3 years of fertility treatment. Pregnancy was difficult and there were numerous times we thought we had lost him. I had surgery during pregnancy to remove a cyst caused by fertility treatment and developed sepsis in late pregnancy also. Birth was also quite traumatic - I was induced but hyper stimulated and baby’s heartbeat couldn’t be found, ended in emergency c section. He was born with thick meconium and very distressed. Born a good size of 9lb 15, on the 98th centile
Following birth, feeding was difficult. I wanted to breastfeed. He was very sleepy and seemed too tired to latch on. Midwives kept saying he had a difficult birth and was taking some tile to adjust to the world. Had lots of breastfeeding support and ended up using nipple shields, as advised by one of the midwives. This helped him latch but he would remain only feeding for a few minutes before falling asleep. I kept raising I was concerned he was so sleepy, not waking to feed and difficult to get any milk into - kept being told it was normal.
At 6 days old, he was admitted to hospital due to being unresponsive - he had multiple infections and was treated for sepsis. It was an awful time and very scary. He was very poorly and in hospital for 2 weeks. During this time, I began expressing to keep up my supply, and he was fed via an ng tube, before going onto bottles and then when he was a bit stronger, also taking some feeds at the breast with nipple shields. It was felt the reason he was so sleepy and not wanting to feed was due to the infections he was fighting.
Weighed at 4.5 weeks and was 10lb 5 (down to just below 91st centile). Doctors happy with this due to being in hospital and being poorly.
From about 4-8 weeks, feeding at home has been fine. Feeding every 2 hours by breast during the day, dad giving him a bottle of expressed milk before bed and one in the morning to give me some tome to sleep. Continuing to bf during the night whenever he wakes. Continuing to use nipple shields (have attempted without but he will not latch at all).
Weighed by HV at 7 weeks, weighing 11lb 6. Down to 75th centile. HV raised concern he shouldn’t be dropping centiles but watched bf and felt he had a good latch and was taking a good amount of milk/frequency of feeds.
8 week GP developmental check - weighing 11lb 9 - down to 50th centile. GP wanted to review his weight in week.
After 8 Gp check, had his first vaccinations. Following this, he was quite poorly. Fever, off feeds, vomiting and diarehea. After around 48 hours and still not keeping feeds down, I called 111. They sent us to the hospital where he was reviewed and they said if he continued being sick/upset tummy the following day, they would need to admit him and sent us home as he seemed fine otherwise. By the following Evening, sickness had stopped but very fussy, not taking full feeds but keeping what he was taking down.
Gp appointment 9 weeks - weighing 12lb 1. Gone just below 50th centile. Still fussy and not wanting full feeds. GP called paeds - they requested we supplement 2 feeds a day with formula to see if it’s an issue with my milk and they would review him at the beginning of March. I wasn’t overjoyed at the formula as I really want to bf but ultimately want my little one fed and healthy.
This weekend, he’s had his 2 formula feeds a day. He’s now refusing bf completely during the day, but will take a bf during the night when he’s sleepy. He’s taking over an hour to have a feed from a bottle of expressed milk - we are giving him 4oz but after an hour, he’s usually had 3oz max and it’s a struggle. The formula had given him an upset stomach also, and he’s very distressed before pooping and has a gargly tummy. He remains miserable in himself and not the happy smiley baby he was prior to his jabs, which were now a week and a half ago. He’s more sleepy than usual also.
I read about nursing strikes and have tried to increase skin to skin, bathing together, laid back nursing to take the pressure off. So far, no change but will continue.
Do I call the Gp? He’s not taking full feeds and is just grumpy and sleepy in himself but aside from this, appears ok (no temp, no increased breathing etc)
Do I continue the formula even though I feel it’s making things worse with his stomach cramping?
Do I give up with breastfeeding (I really don’t want to - but I’m expressing every 2-3 hours to try and keep my supply up and that’s not practical long term). Is giving him bottles of expressed milk making the situation worse and reinforcing his preference for the bottle? Or is he wanting the bottle because he tired and fighting something off?
The idea of another month before seeing the paedeatrician - I don’t see how it’s an issue with my supply due to me producing so much (when expressing, I’m expressing around 150ml minimum a time).
- why is he dropping so many centiles? Is this normal to go in 9 weeks from the 98th to below the 50th? He looks healthy in himself which is what the Gp has said - he looks fine and nothing noticeably wrong which is why I imagine they think it may be my milk.
I don’t want to come across as a neurotic first time mother - his dad is lovely but no good with stress and just buries his head in the sand. I feel like I’m holding all of this by myself. He’s so precious and I think the last 9 weeks have all caught up on me - I’m really struggling to hold it together.
I’m sorry this is so long. It would be good just to get some advice around what to do or if anyone has been in a similar situation? X