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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Anyone dealt with feeding aversion - 19 weeks DD

18 replies

LASandOtto · 31/01/2021 10:09

I hope someone can share their experience.

My DD is 19 weeks old. When she was born she had to have her airways suctioned due to meconium aspiration, and was then in NICU (not intubated but with oxygen support and tube fed) for a week.

We couldn't establish breastfeeding although we tried, with a shield it worked a few times but she was given formula as well. I was encouraged to pump which I did from day one and have continued to do. She was then fed this milk via the tube and later the bottle.

Eventually once home, breastfeeding continued to be challenging so we moved to bottle feeding expressed milk with occasional formula top up.

DD has never been a great feeder. In the early weeks I suspected silent reflux but the HV and GP said these were just phases so it was never medicated or discussed further.

Weight wise she was born on the 25th centile, was briefly on the 50th at around 6 weeks, then down to the 25th again.

She feeds little and often. She will often start drinking, then arch her back or start crying and fussing and bat the bottle away or turn her head. Admittedly in desperation I've tried to persist finishing the bottle at time over the course of an hour or so because I was worried about her intake of milk. I know this isn't good and had probably led to reinforcing the bottle aversion my DD seems to now have.

I've tried different teats, and bottles. I've removed lactose from my diet. I haven't changed formula (she has SMA top ups).

At a recent weigh in she's dipped slightly below the 25th and the HV called me to discuss this. She then said there's no concerns despite me saying that it takes a big effort on my end to get her to feed at all. We now often have to 'dream' feed her during the day at nap time or else she won't go beyond a small 60ml / 2 oz feed at a time.

Expressing milk for this sort of feeding routine has been really hard and I'm starting to struggle, especially when seeing other babies down large 180ml bottles. That seems like miles away from our experience. It doesn't matter if I feed her on demand or if I space feeds out for a few hours, her behaviour is the same and total intake remains the same / low for her age and weight (6kg).

I've just read online about feeding aversion and some of the exhibited behaviour really matches my DD. As soon as the bottle is removed she will stop crying so it would be plausible to deduct it's not a pain related issue so not reflux or CMP? But will speak to GP this week to rule this out first.

We are now in the cycle where I am stressing about her feeding, which obviously isn't good for her and I dread every bottle.

I just don't know what to do next, obviously will speak to GP next about possible reflux being an issue or CMP but has anyone any similar experiences and can advise what helped?

Thank you!

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Vicky1989x · 31/01/2021 10:17

Sounds very similar to my DD and she has reflux. Gaviscon helped a bit, but she used to suffer with terrible trapped wind (reflux related perhaps?) which made her refuse the bottle - she was very similar in that she’d be happy once I took the bottle away. I went up a teat size and that immediately helped with the trapped wind, also used gripe water.

I’d definitely go back to the GP and ask to try gaviscon just to see if it is reflux.

LASandOtto · 31/01/2021 10:34

Thank you @Vicky1989x! That's good to hear that Gaviscon has helped.

I tried a teat size up but she swallowed more air as sometimes drinks too fast to start off with, so got even more wind. I do always keep her in a upright cradle position and don't tip the bottle too much to keep the flow not too fast. Once burped (sometimes she brings milk up with air) she will then mostly refuse to continue drinking. It's very stressful. I'm often throwing unfinished milk down the drain.

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Vicky1989x · 31/01/2021 10:42

@LASandOtto Oh yes, my DD is like that. If I try to wind her half way through, she won’t take the rest of the bottle so I just let her drink the whole thing now (well as much as she wants).. it’s less stress for me that way. She’s still sick a little with a burp but not as much as she used to.

gingingingingingin · 01/02/2021 06:34

Hi,

My son developed a feeding aversion and it was incredibly stressful. We had cycles of being prescribed various things for silent reflux, possible dairy intolerance, but in the end I came across Rowena Bennet, who is an expert on feeding aversions. Everything she described matched my son's behaviour exactly. I bought her book, followed the programme and things had completely turned around in less than a week.

Her website is here if you want to take a look:

www.babycareadvice.com/blogs/bottle-feeding/feeding-aversion

LASandOtto · 01/02/2021 08:10

Thank you @gingingingingingin! Ordered the book, great tip!

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gingingingingingin · 01/02/2021 08:46

Oh I really hope it helps - it completely changed things for us!

LASandOtto · 01/02/2021 09:13

I really hope so @gingingingingingin. Feeling so disheartened at the moment by the entire situation. I'm sure you can relate how awful it feels to have this sort of strained relationship regarding feeding with your LO.

May I ask how your situation changed? What was it like before you read the book and how was it after, once you implemented the advice?

Thank you!

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gingingingingingin · 01/02/2021 09:55

Before I realised my son had a feeding aversion feeding was going really badly. He's dropped two centiles (which looking back I think was him catching down to his true centile) and the HV told me he needed to feed more and gave me ways to basically force him.

He ended up screaming if I so much as put him in a feeding position. Drinking 1oz of formula would take hours. He was happy if he wasn't being fed... we tried dairy free milk, various reflux medications etc and every bottle test going. Like you, I could only dream feed, and eventually even that stopped working.

The book is very strict and you have to follow it to see results. It basically involves never pressuring and completely trusting the baby to control what and when they eat. You offer the bottle twice, and if it is rejected twice then that's it - you pour the milk away and don't offer again until at least at hour later. I had to be very strict with myself as it went against everything my HV had said but by the end of day 1 I could already see that my son was drinking much better. By about day 3, he was drinking about 750ml a days. We had the odd setback and that feeling of dread at the start of each feed never completely went away for me but after months of my child not wanting to eat my son started requesting feeds! Even now he drinks two massive cups before bed each night - in fact I'm trying to cut the milk back as I think he drinks too much for his age!!!

There's also a Facebook group which I joined - I can't remember what it was called but it was super helpful so if you can find that it is worth joining!

Good luck - really hope you have the success we did :) xx

LASandOtto · 01/02/2021 10:24

@gingingingingingin that sounds so promising and hopeful. I'm so happy for you that you're in a much better place now in terms of feeding.

My DD doesn't feed well either. I'm really hoping the book and the steps as you outlined will improve her feeding and make things so much easier for the both of us. It is a stressful time, there's been days that I cannot really relax and enjoy our time together because I'm worrying about her (lack of) milk intake.

Thanks again for sharing your story and the book recommendation!

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gingingingingingin · 02/02/2021 05:51

Good luck! I really hope it helps.

Totally understand about not enjoying your time together - I felt just the same! It does pass I promise... my son will be awake in half an hour, demanding that I run laps of the kitchen with him! x

Twiglet2353 · 02/02/2021 06:08

Just here to see if anyone had yet mentioned Rowena, but see @gingingingingingin has beaten me too it.
Completed changed things around for us. There's also a Baby Care Advice Feeding Aversion Facebook page that you can join that has all the resources on there - found them very helpful.

Sorry you're going through this, it's so so hard xx

Blindingpeaky · 03/02/2021 19:18

I'm going through exactly the same with my 5 month old. It's so distressing as I can see he is hungry but just wont eat.

I have brought the book too @op. Fingers crossed we both see some changes

LASandOtto · 03/02/2021 20:27

@Twiglet2353 thank you.

The book arrive today, will start reading tomorrow. Had another awful day today - so tired right now.

I will check out the Facebook group as well, thanks for the recommendation.

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LASandOtto · 03/02/2021 20:29

@Blindingpeaky sorry you're also going through this. It's so tough, isn't it? This evening was horrendous again. She was definitely hungry and just wouldn't take much from the bottle. Eventually fell asleep from exhaustion, I presume.

I've just got the book and will start reading tomorrow. I have some hope it'll turn things around as I've heard so much positive about it.

Hope you're ok, keep me updated how you get on?

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Somama · 27/09/2021 13:14

Hi @LASandOtto hope you are well. I'm in a very similar scenario. Can I ask how you are getting on. My DD is eleven weeks but breast fed, had silent reflux and intolerances but has been refusing feeds or very small feeds. Would be nice to know how you got on x

Wallymama · 12/11/2021 16:18

Hiya, we are currently on day 1 of the programme, it's heart breaking. But my baby was just not taking his milk, it was getting stressful. The h.v said he was the picture of health so we knew there wasn't anything serious. We feel awful! It's so sad, I feel like he's got worse since we started with it last night. I know I have to give it chance but doesn this make sense. Its sending my anxiety crazy! I hope its worth it. I read the reviews of people who had found it worked on amazon. Just praying it works, I don't want to give up, just to have doubts in the future, and then go through it all again. Hopefully you wouldn't mind replying with an idea of your experience. Thanks

LASandOtto · 12/11/2021 17:01

@Wallymama I just saw your post and hadn't seen the previous one below from another poster but just wanted to give some reassurance. We stuck with the program and after a short time things resolved. In the end our little girl held and drank bottles on her own and the stress was totally gone.

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Wallymama · 12/11/2021 18:45

Thank you. It's so hard, but thanks for taking the time to send reassurance.

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