Long term breastfeeding

[MumtoLaura]

Hi,
My DD will be three at Christmas and I'm still feeding her morning and night. Which is fine at the moment (DP not too keen but tough!) My question is will she ever decide to stop by herself? I don't feel we need to stop yet, but it obviously has to stop at some point and I just wondered, as it's gone on so long, will I have to stop it or will she go off it do you think?
Thanks

I'm still feeding my 2-at-Xmas dd, mornings only. We dropped the evening feed about a month ago because she was desperate to have milk from a beaker like her big brother, so from that point of view she stopped by herself. I've skipped the morning feed a couple of times and had no problems from dd - though I have to make sure that she has her breakfast very soon after getting up, and that she has cereal before milk, otherwise she fills up on milk. She loves her breastfeeding, and lets me know it! But I don't think it will be difficult to drop this last feed (which I plan to do by the end of this year) as long as I don't 'torment' her by letting her see my breasts in the morning, or by having a lie-in (because she generally feeds lieing down with in my bed).

My ds is 2 at Christmas like Prettycandles dd and also still feeding (also lying down!)
Until very recently I was feeding him at bedtime and then (horror-of-horrors) in the night too if he woke (we live in a flat and also have a school age dd so it was the quickest way to shut him up!)
Anyway the bed time feed was and still is no problem but began to find he was waking more and more in the night and I was getting totally fed up with the constant night feeding (we were all knackered and grumpy and he wasn't eating in the day properly (a visious circle I think). So I took the bull by the horns and said no more night feeding and prepared myself for a bad time. Anyway 4 nights on and its not half as bad as I thought, he's settling again fine when he realises there is no more "boobymilk".

So in answer to your question, keep going as long as you're happy, but when you've had enough it may not be as hard as you think. I don't know if she'll stop it herself. I seem to remember reading somewhere that some children, if they carry on til they're older, think they need permission to stop. They don't realise that they're in control and think its something they have to do because mummy never told them it was time to stop

Hi MumtoLaura

DS1 will also be 3 at Christmas and I am still breastfeeding him, first thing in the morning at sometimes at bedtime too. I'm also b/f ds2 who will be 1 in 2 weeks time. I think that its more of a comfort thing for ds1 and he will give up of his own accord. He's only on there for 5 mins max. Mind you I've been saying that for 12 months!

Much earlier I know but I stopped b/f dd at 18 months. It was down to just a night time feed by then and I was ready to stop but didn't know how. Then she got a cold and didn't want to feed and within a couple of days had 'forgotten' that she ever had a b/f before bedtime. She became more interested in having a story read to be honest. I found it rather an anti-climax, I'd planned to remember The Last Feed but as it is I can't remember a thing. I miss it very very often.

I fed my two DDs until they were 2 and 21/2 and am still feeding DS (21 months) - the girls did not give up of their own accord (DD2 still asks if she could try again but I think she just loves skin-to-skin contact). DS shows no sign of wanting to stop and (like a fool) I am up every night with him and always choose the "easy" option. As he is quite vocal I will have to stop soon but think he will be the most difficult of the three - I said I would have stopped by September and now I'm looking at Christmas...

Can I ask if Mumtolaura and others actually 'planned' to breastfeed for that long? I am reading this thinking 'this could be me' even tho' my DD is only 5 months, she's just a really massive breastfeeding fan and I can't imagine how she's ever going to grow out of all the reasons she finds to feed. Waking up, going to sleep, being in a new place, washing down solids... not to mention hunger! At the moment I don't like the idea of feeding beyond a year or so but I'm not likely to force DD into stopping before she's ready to. Sorry if this is a bit off the subject.

Hi Spots,
No I didn't plan to breast feed this long. In fact when I was pregnant I thought I would give breast feeding a go, but if it didn't work out I'd use a bottle. I enjoy it and find it convenient and DD still likes it, so I just never had a reason to stop.

Posey,
Interesting point about needing permission to stop. I'll give that some thought, I might discuss it with DD.

Spots - no, never really planned to feed this long. With dd I started introducing formula at 6 months as she was a very big feeder and just felt I needed to be able to share a bit more of the feeding with dh. Stopped b/fing completely at a year.
Ds on the other hand was an easier feeder, less frequent, less of a "grazer" than dd. So I never felt an urge to get him used to a bottle so dh could help. Consequently I could NEVER get him to take a bottle at all. And he will not drink cows milk or formula so I kind of had to carry on. I've never minded at all, or found it a problem until this frequent night waking and feeding.
HTH

Spots, I fed for over 2 years, but didn't particularly plan to breastfeed for that long. I decided at the start that, if I could, I wanted to do it for at least a year, but that I would continue for as long as dd and I wanted to. She decided for herself that she wanted to stop, although by this time we were down to only one feed a day.

My bf goal with my first child was "at least 6 months", but once we got there, there was no reason to stop.

He eventually did stop when I was about 10 weeks pg with the next, and that was the pattern with the next 2 as well. My 4th child perservered through the low milk supply I had in early pregnancy, and I ended up feeding her until she was just shy of her 4th birthday (tandem nursing for 15 months).

I'm happy to bf a toddler - it's fantastic for getting through those awful tantrums and great when they are under the weather. It also gives peace of mind when they go through a non-eating phase.

I never had any intention of feeding for longer than one year, max, but, as others have said, once you get settled into it there's somehow no reason to stop. Dd is far from being an easy feeder - she thrashes and tugs and grabs - but it's just nice .