TIKTOK/HUNKER ANY BF GURUS advice on slow weight gain please!

[foxystein]

My lo is 16 weeks, and we've been monitoring her weight-gain every two weeks. The HV's have been great but having taken 6 weeks to put on one pound, they have finally advised to introduce one bottle in 24 hours and to feed 3 hourly.

I'm taking fenugreek, expressing after her morning feed and using that to supplement her evening feed. She's happy, sleeps well at night (not so in the day) and developing well. She's my number 4, so am putting a lot of pressure on myself as I feel like I'm failing her.

Should I just admit (what feels like) defeat and give her a bottle of formula?

Or can I do anything else? I feel absolutely gutted

is she otherwise happy? plenty of wet and dirty nappies?

What did she weigh when she was born? And now? What was her weight gain like initially? What were your other three like, weight-gain wise (and were they bf or ff?)? Nappies, wet, dirty? How long is she going between feeds usually? Feeding at all at night?

And I'm not a bf guru That's Tiktok I'll just do till she gets here! LOL!

Foxy....without more info it's hard to know what to say, but an otherwise healthy baby who is just gaining a bit slowly is not usually a cause for real concern.

The easiest and most obvious way to increase a baby's weight is simply to make sure more milk gets into her.

In your case, there seems to be no reason why this more milk should not be breastmilk - just feed more often, and if necessary, offer a feed at night if you can bear to.

The fact they are suggesting you feed 3 hrly makes me think she may be feeding less often than this, and sleeping throgh. If that's the case, then there must be opportunities to offer more bfs in the day, too.

Sometimes, babies in busy families who have a calm and placid disposition are happy enough not to feed as often as would be optimally good for them - could this be your baby? Maybe concentrate on getting more bfs into her for a couple of weeks?

wow! thanks for responding so quickly!

She was 9.11 at birth, and is currently 12.07. The most she's put on in any one week is 6oz.

All the others were exclusively bf for 4 - 6 months (DS1 is nearly 6 and advice at the time was to wean at 4 months, the others were exclusively bf for 5.5 months). No concerns with any of them.

LO is very happy and perky. Plenty of wet nappies, not many dirty ones. One every 3 or 4 days.

We were co-sleeping, but she didn't sleep well. She'd snack intermittently in the night but it didn't seem to make much difference to her weight gain. She was then tired as she wasn't sleeping well. So I put her in her basket to sleep after a 10/11pm feed. And she'll generally go through to 7 or 8 am.

Tiktok, your last paragraph rings very true indeed! She could well be that baby.

She feeds every 3 - 4 hours. Sometimes I am guilty of "I will 'just' do..." and cram a few extra jobs in before she starts to make a noise. But then I make sure I am in a position to sit down and give her both sides at her own pace.

Can you get a sling you can feed her in?

What sort would be the best to do that? (Bearing in mind I have bf 4 babies and my norks swing near the knee area now ). I'd certainly be interested in trying one though.

foxy - 3-4 hourly with a baby who sleeps through is ok for some, but maybe not for this baby....who has learnt, bless her, that life is fun with all the other kids around, and she will get fed and she is loved and adored, and is just, well, patient!

Two weeks with extra feeds should make a difference, but you will prob have to really, really stick to it 'cos she won't be hassling you.

I think you are right. In fact I thought earlier I might draw up a timetable so I can actually focus on what needs to be done when.

Its all going to have to be very regimented for a couple of weeks.

It occurs to me that this is the flip side of feeding on demand.

Good luck with this, foxy. I have come across your situation many, many times, and I agree, sometimes feeding 'on demand' is not enough for these little ones. They manage to get enough to trickle along, and remain basically ok and healthy, but they probably do benefit from more milk when it's on offer

In a more traditional society, with babies held close to their mums day and night all the time, the placid babies would just learn to help themselves anyway without a squeak, so I guess it is a modern issue.

Thanks for your time and advice everyone. I'd rather not give a bottle of formula, but I fear I may have to.

Hunker, if you have any advice on slings, I'd be grateful. I like that idea very much.

Thanks everyone.

Foxy,
I'm no expert, but just to share with you that my ds was a very laid back baby too, and was very sleepy in the early days.

Demand feeding was never enough for him - he would happily go 6 hours or more between feeds if I let him, so in the end I had to set the alarm on my phone to remind myself to feed him!

A similar approach may well put your girl back on track -Good luck!!

No bf expert but I have fed in a number of different slings!

If you prefer to feed her in a cradle position then a ring sling works great, but isn't so comfy for doing other stuff in.

By 16 weeks ds was happy sitting in an ergo facing my tummy and it's sooo easy to bf like that while doing whatever you want (apart from cooking - I wasn't happy with the hot rings so close to him!)

sorry gonna hijack your post. My lo is 15wks and weighs 10lbs 4 oz. 6 14 at birth and now I am worried cause she eats or at least I thought like a demon, every two hrs at the moment.

her sister is petite, 9.3kg at 18mths so I figure that she is going to run along the same lines. She is bf.

foxy, glad you've got some advice to be going on with. Good Luck with it and keep us posted

Thanks Jojay - my lo can also do a long stint without feeding. Shes so happy and contented she hardly ever cries - we just can't win, can we?

I will definately set my phone alarm, that's a great idea!

I'm also going to carry her around in the sling a lot more. I used it a fair bit, less so these past couple of weeks, but I've read on Kellymom that carrying the baby can help milk production.

So my plan is:
Carry and co-sleep, with a view to feeding every 2 hours (set my alarm!) in the day for the first couple of days.
Express after the morning feed, and possibly the 7pm feed.
Should I lie to the HV and say she rejected the bottle to buy myself one more week.

This is such an emotional issue for me as I still feel very connected to her. There are two things which I do with her exclusively - feeding her is one, the other is to bathe with her every night. With 3 other young children round, its so very important to me and I think to her. But I know that once I give a bottle of formula, it'll be a lot easier to give the next, and the next. Which is why I'm so reluctant to give her formula in the first place.

Thanks, I really appreciate your advice

...and my dd is 14 weeks old and only 8lb 8 oz despite feeding 2-3 hourly or more often occasionally. Excl breastfed.

The most she's put on in a week is 3oz. Two paediatricians have said she's well. Doesn't stop me worrying too, though!

I'd give my right arm to have a weight gain like your tiddler! Good luck, though, hope things pick up for you.

This is really interesting to me. My 5 week old baby has put on 7 oz in two weeks which I don't think is a particularly good weight-gain, but is very content and often goes for more than 3 hours between feeds, but will always take the breast if offered before he starts making any noises. What Tiktok says certainly rings true for me about patient babies in busy families so I am going to start force feeding him too! I hope it works for both of us!

foxy, please please don't lie to your HVs. They need to know the truth.

OK Tiktok!

Yes, Mumpbump, she's never refused a feed but doesn't really ask for one either.

Good to know about what the paeds said SLC. Am glad your lo is fine too.

And I won't lie to the HV! You are right Tiktok - they do need to know the truth, that's silly of me. Plus, I'd feel too guilty. I might go and see the dr though, just to get a second opinion. She's a young mother of small children and was very reassuring last time.

foxy, ringsling would be handy. look at www.slingmeet.co.uk to see if there is a sling meeting in your area and pop along. they give v. good tips on using slings and bf in them.

will check that out. thanks