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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

did you have a lot of pain and feel grotty when you stopped bf?

31 replies

bracingair · 28/10/2007 10:45

I stopped bf ds last fri. On thurs my breast and nipples became so painful, its excruitiating.

I also started the combined pill yasmin tues so not sure if maybe its that as i was fine fri to thurs.

has anone else had sore breasts that are red and a bit lumpy after stopping. I can even squeeze some milk out. sorry if tmi!

Before i ditch the pills, please tell me this can be normal and it will go away in, oh, only 24 hrs.

OP posts:

demonaid · 28/10/2007 10:50

How old is your DS? How much was he feeding before you stopped? It could potentially be a blocked duct or mastitis. Are you running a temperature?

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 10:53

It's normal to have pain, yes, poor you. It's fine to express as much milk as you need to, to stop the soreness, and this will help avoid blocked ducts and mastitis. I'll be back in a minute with a link.

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 10:53

he is 21 months. I was feeding about 3 x a day. I cut it down to once a day for a week and then a week later stopped that. No temperature but i am going to bed after the dc's are in bed and having 12 hours a nights.I slept three hours yesterday afternoon and that hat didnt stop me feeling exhausted last night.

Took a pregnancy test...negative!

OP posts:

pinkdolly · 28/10/2007 10:54

I'm still feeding my 15 month old at the moment. But I did go away for the weekend when she was 10 months old.

I remember the pain was horrendous, I had to take ibroprofen which did help. But my boobs were huge and rock solid. Not an experience i'd like to repeat again soon.

I remember whilst I was away I accidently bumped into the door frame, which caught me right in my boobs, oh I could have cried.

Sorry not much help, I suppose, just to let you know that I am pretty sure it's normal.

hth

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 10:54

I hope this helps

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:00

the though tof puuting a breastpump to my breasts....argh, i cant, i cant.

I probably made things much worse by falling asleep 2 nights in a row with my bra on.

dh is a bit worried about how much i am sleeping.

I really want to bf my son. stopping was my choice, not his. But i keep telling myself if i feed him i will just put off the inevitable!

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:19

You feel happy about your decision to stop? You sound slightly unsure, is it just the physical need you are feeling to feed him?

I can understand about the pump thing. I never got on with them either. Can you express a little by hand, just to relieve the pain?

krabbiepatty · 28/10/2007 11:22

I think your hormones do rearrange themselves when you stop bfing - remember feeling very premenstrual..

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:26

bf seemed to be coming to an end in that he would refuse the breast at night. But once he was in his cot, he would cry for it, more as an alternative to going to bed! I was beginnig to resent it as he would feed less frequesntly, and then it would be very uncomfortable when he sucked on an empty breast. But emotionally wise, i really want to fed him now. The pain though is not just a desire, but an actual tenderness, especially when touched or brushed against.

I have been feeling really tired lately. Wanted to wait till i got results for reactive hypoglycemia tests before stopping, but i am still waitng 4 weeks on . I had hoped that by not bf i would have more energy, but this seems to be taking it to new heights.

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Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:27

thanks for the link F&Z, because i am feeling very sad at stopping

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FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:32

Oh dear, sorry about your health worries. I hope the results come soon. I haven't found that breastfeeding affects energy levels except when it disturbs my sleep, but I know people have different experiences.

You do sound unsure about whether to carry on weaning or not, but I am not sure if that's because you're finding it so uncomfortable. I am wondering if it might be better to carry on a little longer until you are more positive about what you want to do? You could always begin weaning again whenever you wanted, whereas if you carry on weaning now you may lose the option to start again. I always say it is worth having breastfeeding up your sleeve for dealing with difficult toddler times - it can be such a useful way for both of you to calm down, especially at the end of a long and challenging day!

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:34

Oh cross posts - this doesn't seem like the right time does it?

why stop if your instincts are to continue? It sounds like he may be gently beginning the weaning process himself, and you could find it a lot easier for both of you if you allow this to happen gradually at his pace...

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:37

Am wondering if this page would be useful in deciding whether to continue? I am the wrong person to ask for objective advice as I found breastfeeding an older child such a positive experience, but you need to make the decision that is best for you and your family

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:39

i havent followed the thread about extended bf, but i didnt get any support from dh & friends. Funnily my parents and ils were supportive.

My friends thought it was weird, but tbh, when i saw my sil feeding her 20 month old two years ago, i thought it was wierd!

dh feels that the baby has had his time, and if i am too tired to....well the baby doesnt really need it anymore.

So feeding to 21 months went well beyond my expectations. I want do feed now, but i dont want to feed a big child, so must stop at some point. sorry a bit long winded, you have been really helpful.

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Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:41

oh dear, started to read your posts. Ds is now waking far more frequently so prob was too quick. But so afraid to start it all over again

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FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:42

I understand about the feeding a big child thing - if we started out feeding toddlers instead of babies I don't expect many of us would feel comfortable at first!

however if you are comfortable with how ds is right now, why not carry on and wait until the time when you feel it is not working for you? You may find he stops naturally before that point anyway. Many children self-wean from the age of about 2, so it may not be long until he stops without you having to put any effort in, or go through this discomfort. I am a big fan of parenting choices that don't involve doing anything painful or difficult

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:44

oh sorry, cross posts again

sorry if I have got the wrong end of the stick

you must do what feels right, and if carrying on with the weaning feels right then I support you with that

you just sounded so sad and so unsure - it's obviously a difficult time, whatever you decide

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:48

i think im scared he will never wan tto self wean...or not for a long time. I could see myself feeding for a couple more weeks, but not till he is 3. I am already 9 days in, so so dont want to repeat it all in a month or so. But im also feeling so hormonal and really want to feed. If i wasnt so tired, i for sure would contine, but it does seem unfair on dh.

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FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 11:50

Oh dear

I would give it some more thought, maybe read the links again, and see how you feel later or tomorrow

what is the problem with dh, how does he feel about you feeding?

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 11:58

well to be blunt, dh llikes frequent sex . And if i am so tired, he thinks to eliminate all possible causes. and ds is after all 21 months. Ive shown him kerrymon before, i think he percieves her as a bit loony.

oh dear, cant show him this thread now that ive put him down. he really is helpful, and very hands on.

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FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 12:02

No, I understand

I expect he is trying to be helpful, anyway - he doesn't want to see you tired. But it is unlikely that the breastfeeding is the cause of your tiredness, I think.

I don't think it is unfair on dh to ask him to put your needs and the needs of your ds first for a little bit longer, while he is so young. But breastfeeding in itself doesn't interfere with sex - being the mother of a toddler can be very tiring, and emotionally and physically draining, which can leave us feeling we don't fancy sex at the end of a long day. I think he needs to understand that a bit more and not blame random things like breastfeeding - breastfeeding can help you relax at the end of a long day, and make it easier for you to be a mother - it's a shame he sees it as just impacting on him negatively.

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 12:06

Which would you feel was more helpful and makes you feel better?

if I said "persist with weaning, and the pain will go at some point, and you won't have to worry about doing this again."

or if I said "feed your son, as it is what you feel like doing, and at some point his need for breastmilk will lessen and you will probably find weaning comes easier the next time."

Which is closer to what feels right for you?

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 12:50

i prefer the second!

also back to the orgibal post, is the feeling really ill (no temp) due to the bf or ditch the pills?

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 13:00

Sorry I don't know the answer about the combined pill, I think I would phone NHS direct if I was concerned about effects of the pill?

However I know that feeling ill can be caused by breastmilk being absorbed back into your system - I had blocked ducts loads of times and often got a temperature / general fluey feeling. I was told this is because the blocked ducts stop the milk getting out to your baby, and the milk has nowhere to go so is reabsorbed into your bloodstream, at which point your body no longer recognises it as being part of your own system (badly explained but you know what I mean) and reacts as it would to an infection etc, and creates fluey ill symptoms. Someone medical could no doubt explain it better, but I would guess this is also happening with you - the milk is being reabsorbed into your bloodstream?

I really don't want to push you to make the decision that I think is right, as breastfeeding is so personal to you and your family situation. But if the second answer is really what makes you feel better, then I will leave you to draw your own conclusions about what would be best for you....

Btw, when my son stopped breastfeeding of his own accord, he did it gradually, so that I didn't get any physical effects - oh except putting on weight because I was eating the same amount as when I was breastfeeding! I did get some emotional effects, though - I still miss breastfeeding now in a kind of abstract way - for me it was one of the loveliest parts of being a mother

Original poster

bracingair · 28/10/2007 16:58

Just got back home. thank you F&Z for being so supportive. I really will miss bf, but keeping telling myself, soon we will have another to feed! Do you think there will be another to feed? btw my mil fed her youngest till she was past 3.

ds asked for a feed, but i offered to read a story, and he happily ran off to get Dear Zoo. I cant contemplate going through it all over again, so will try leave things be. Should i go to a dr to check infection etc?

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