9 Weeks Old - Suddenly crying and pulling away from breast 😔

[RWK29]

DS is 9 weeks old and exclusively breast fed. For the last week he’s been SO fussy at every feed. Will latch for a minute or 2 then pulls away from the breast crying and fussing. If I go to put him back on he thrashes about “biting” for the breast like a wild animal that’s never been fed 😓 again he lasts a minute or 2 and then kicks off again. Happens on both breasts at most times of the day (no pattern to it...just occasionally he’ll take a feed with little fuss - maybe one per day). He suffers badly with wind so have always winded him frequently during feeding - between breasts and if he stops for a break. During this last week he even screams when trying to wind him unless you give him a dummy 😓

I don’t think I’m doing anything differently 😓 I’ve been reading all about fast/slow let down. Can this just happen suddenly? There seems to be plenty of milk - whenever he pulls away there is milk in his mouth. Up until this point we’ve been managing well with the breastfeeding. Anything else it could be?! I’m at a loss 😓😓😓 Have tried dark rooms etc incase he’s being distracted but makes no difference. Was tempted to express and give a bottle to see if he takes that with no fuss but I’d rather not give bottles if I don’t need to 🤔

Background incase it’s relevant: born at 8lb 11oz (75th centile). Exclusively breastfed from birth. 6% weight loss first week. Back over birth weight by week 2. Settled at 50th centile and has stayed there ever since.

My baby is 16 weeks and does this sometimes too! Rooting around for milk but as soon as I put her horizontal to the breast she screams. I think it's. vicious cycle because they're uncomfortable therefore not getting what they want and then screaming more and then tiring themselves out to the point were they seem inconsolable.

What works for me is trying to feed in a more upright position and then if needs be once she's settled, slowly lowering her down. Also I express milk so if she's being super fussy at the breast, offering a bottle helps because she can be sat up.

If all else fails I put her down and stop trying. Pick her back up in 5 mins or so and she seems happy to feed again! God knows why

As for reasons why, I assume it's just in tiredness, irritability, wind and hunger all mixed up! Hard life being a baby! As long as you're getting wet nappies and the baby isn't loosing weight then try not to worry, although I know how horrible and frustrating it can be x

@Miltonj Nice to know it’s not just me, thanks 😓 I have a baby that refuses point blank to be put down during the day which I’m finding really stressful and he’s not sleeping well at night yet either so I think it’s just all getting to me today 😭

Have you tried cutting out dairy in your diet to see if it helps?

He may suddenly be suffering from a bit of allergies.

@Soubriquet I haven’t tried that yet but its the next thing on my list 😓 thanks

It's tough! Well done for getting this far. Breast feeding isn't always the magical peaceful experience that people talk about - it certainly hasn't been for me, you're definitely not alone!

Are you at the point were you're purposefully making her nap during the day? Or are they still just falling asleep as an when? I think it was around the ten week mark that I started more organised naps. (Deffo not a strict schedule tho!) I found my daughter got a lot less fussy when I was more mindful of making her nap... it's not always successful but it helps. You say you're baby can't be put down, but even if it's a nap in sling or carrier a couple of times a day it may help! Sorry if that's patronising, I'm sure you've tried lots of things!

@Miltonj He’s not having organised naps as such. Tends to want nappy change, feed, play, then when I can see he’s had enough play and I can see that he’s tired I’ll settle him for a nap. Naps can be anything from 30 mins to 3ish hours 😓 won’t settle anywhere other than being held and if settled then put down he wakes within 2-3 minutes. He’s a terrible sleeper at night too.
I have tried a carrier but unfortunately my pelvis separated a few days before I delivered him and my abdominal muscles split during pregnancy so I’m a bit of a mess 🙈😅 I find the carrier really painful

Ah you poor thing, you've really been through it! I'd say give yourself permission to do whatever you need to do to get through it! Expressing and bottle feeding really does help my daughter when she's screaming at the breast but it come with a whole new set of problems! Feeding babies really is a minefield.

Have you tried feeding whilst lying down. When my daughter is screaming at the breast, I find that she is sometimes more willing to latch on and settle if I take her off somewhere else have a few mins to calm down and then lay down and feed... doesn't always work but worth a try! In the mean time though I'd say just be really good to yourself, make your surroundings how you like them, nice coffee, hot choc, whatever you like in, you're doing one of the most physically and emotionally draining jobs so you might as well treat yourself!

@RWK29 no advice sorry, I just read your last comment about your abdominal muscles splitting in pregnancy and it happened to also, my DS is 9 weeks! have you been given any exercises or anything? I've been referred to physio but not heard anything from them yet! Hope your ok x

@Miltonj Aww thanks 😊 it’s crazy isn’t it?! You know it’s going to be demanding and exhausting but you don’t realise just quite how much 😅😅 Although its still the best role I’ve ever had ❤️

@Laur89 ohh no, sorry to hear you’re dealing with it too 😓 I was referred to the physio in my maternity unit but that was for my pelvis. They’ll only see you until 6 weeks after birth so I saw her twice then need to just wait for a referral to normal physio. She didn’t really do much for the abdominal muscles if I’m honest. Just said to try and engage the muscles before you move and make an effort to stop it doming where the split it 🤷🏻‍♀️

@RWK29 argh so it's a bit of a waiting game! What's happened to your pelvis??

@Laur89 a couple of days before I was induced my pelvis gave way 😭 by far the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life! They wouldn’t take me into the hospital because of covid and I was completely immobile 😓 spend 3 days sitting in the same position on my couch day and night - couldn’t sleep or anything 😭 couldn’t even get up to the toilet, had to use a bedpan. it was horrendous! Then had to go through labour in that state 🙈🤣🤣
Couldn’t walk or change positions etc 😔

My 5 week old does this when he's overtired.

@shouldistop Yeah they can definitely be fussy when they’re overtired 🙈 he’s doing it at every feed though 🙈

My daughter is like this she has silent and regular reflux and possibly cmp And soya allergies

One of mine did this. was reflux and underlying dairy intolerance, which he eventually grew out of by about 5. I had to eventually stop bf and put him on the dairy free formula.

One of mine was like this, was due to silent reflux.

Hi @RWK29 sorry to hear you're going through a tricky time. Reflux might be something to investigate for sure but really I just wanted to say hope you're ok. Sounds very frustrating for you and your LO. You've been through a lot and nothing is easy these days, so you have my sympathy.

The split abdominal muscles take time to recover. I don't think there's any quick fix and apparently breastfeeding slows the recovery as your muscles stay slacker. My DD is 9 months and my tummy still looks like I'm 4 months pregnant ☹ I've been using MUTU system for past 6 weeks and it's helping, although it's slow progress.

@RWK29 don't have any advice on the feeding issue sorry but my baby went through a couple of days doing this last week! I wondered about fast let down too! She's now stopped doing it and I have no idea what it was about, maybe it was something in my breastmilk she didn't like? Something I ate that tasted different 🤷🏼‍♀️

I wanted to pop on here mainly to ask if you'd tried a white noise machine or app on your phone? My baby was the same and wouldn't be put down to sleep or stay asleep if put down but once I discovered white noise this got better! It has to be really quite loud but it works and she stays asleep much longer when not held.

Good luck, not an easy journey at all but it does get easier!

My baby went through phases of something similar. It's very frustrating at the time but for us it has always passed after a few weeks, if that's any consolation. Teething has brought in on again (sigh).

@Superscientist @pinbinpin @Mumofasleepthief Thanks guys 😊 he had his GP check up the other day when he was in for his vaccinations so I mentioned the possible reflux... “breastfed babies don’t get reflux” 🙄🤣 I’ll speak to the health visitor when I see her this week. I’ve cut dairy back out of my diet too. Never ate much dairy before I was pregnant but I reintroduced it to my own diet to make sure I was getting everything baby needed. Hopefully cutting it out again will make a difference.

@Keyperfect Aww thank you 😊 I think I just hit a bit of a wall with everything. DH works offshore and went back to work too so it’s just me and baby here all day everyday with nobody else around 🙈 Feeling much more positive about things now. Baby is content between feeds and doing plenty of nappies so he’s obviously getting what he needs which is making me feel better. He’s just not content while he feeds 🙈
Sorry you’re dealing with the same with your abdominal muscles 😓 I was never slim to begin with so the look doesn’t bother me as much, it’s just frustrating feeling like your body is a bit weak 🙄

@TJ17 White noise is a life safer 🤣 we use it when he’s fussing during nappy changes too. His favourite is a hairdryer sounds video on YouTube lol. I actually jut bought him a mobile for over his crib during the day to try and entertain him for even 10 mins while I quickly get ready and so far it seems to be working 🤞🏼 Just trying to put him down a little more each day!

@RyvitaBrevis I’m praying it’s just a phase too! I said to DH the other night that I bet it’ll be a phase and it’ll return many times 🤣🙈 hope yours grows out of it soon!!

That happened to me and it turned out that I had thrush in my breast. Have you had any deep burning pain, not to be confused with mastitis?
It seemed as if the taste of the milk had changed and that was why my ds wouldn't feed. Just an idea...

Oh and breastfed babies do get reflux!

@RWK29 hairdryer is our fave too 😂

Just to reassure you that as they get older and can still see you in the same room, they are more content to sit and watch things/play with toys. I think it's around 12 weeks you'll probably notice a difference in this.

My baby is 19 weeks old now and I managed to put washing away today and do Joe Wicks PE whilst she sat and watched happily. This was a baby who we used to have to take turns to stay up all night to hold whilst she slept because she would not let us put her down even for a second! I used to eat every meal with her in a sling which killed my back! It deffo does get easier. Hang on in there, it sounds like you're doing a great job

@Ashard20 Ohh I haven’t heard of that before! Definitely haven’t had any pain but I’ll keep an eye out for that in future.

The only other thing I can’t think of is that I changed my vitamins 🤔 could they be affecting the taste? 🤔 I can’t think if this started at the same time or not 🙈

@TJ17 That’s very reassuring!! Especially as it sounds like your little one was exactly like mine is 🙈 I can definitely see a difference in him even just this week so I’m hopeful 🤞🏼 And he’s just the best wee guy in the world so I’m secretly happy with all the cuddles 🤣 it’s just stressful when you’re trying to do a 30 second shower 🤣🤣🤣