Tiny baby

[Pinky9000]

Hi all
I have a 3.5 month old breastfed DD who had (and still has) issues surrounding feeding due to allergies and reflux etc, and so her weight gain has been very slow. I'd say she is about a month behind where she should be. Luckily we are in lockdown but anytime someone has seen her, I always get a comment about how small she is. I know it's not my fault but I always feel like a crap mum and a bit adequate. Especially when I see my other mum friends with their chubby little Michelin man babies. I feel like we are almost there with resolving the feeding issues and I'm hoping she can begin to gain weight a bit more rapidly then. No real question, just a bit of a rant really. Anyone else been in a similar boat? When she initially had feeding issues, all the MWs and HVs kept mistaking it for a supply issue on my end and I was told that I was starving her (until my lactation consultant figured out what was going on- not a supply issue at all). I think ever since then, I've always just been really anxious about basically everything but especially her weight gain.

I don't think some HCP realise the impact being told you have low supply can do. I'm glad the issue of allergies and reflux have been identified. I've had 2 small babies, the first struggled to feed to begin with and after that was just small. The second has reflux and allergies and had some other stuff too, his weight gain has been unstable but it's now doing much better, he's still small but that's the way he is.

Most babies improve well once allergies and reflux are controlled so I hope you feel better about things soon.

Can you speak to your health visitor again and ask for a face to face visit if you are concerned ?

Try not to dwell on others comments or indeed other babies as they are all different

In terms of your daughter specifically is she small in size as well as weight or one of the other?

What are her red book measurements?
I also think it you are this down and worries or upset your either need support or support and an plan of action if there are professional concerns

And another voice to say being approached about breastmilk supply issues is something to be handled very sensitively and should not be done on a speculative basis only when there is some evidence for this

Being a first time mum can make you really hard on yourself but try not to be as more often than not first times mums are doing a great job and trying their best.

Hi all, thanks for your responses. I have not had a great experience with HVs so reluctant to go back to them- they were fixated with my non existent supply issue- I pumped and pumped for weeks on end thinking I couldn't make enough milk, upon their instruction. When the weight issues continued they just told me to supplement with formula. I kept mentioning the reflux and allergy to them but kept getting told "she's just hungy".

Now DD is under the care of a private paediatrician who luckily wants to address the root cause rather than just the symptoms of her poor weight gain. Currently topping her up with expressed breastmilk and sometimes hypoallergenic formula when I don't find time to express.

Oh I really know where you’re coming from with the comments. My youngest daughter (now 16months) was dinky and had some slow weight gain in the early weeks. She settled on 2nd centile by 11 weeks (was around 25th centile at birth) and stayed on it until weaning when she chubbed out a bit more. But the comments really got to me, everyone would love telling me how tiny she was and it really wound me up. Even when I knew she was growing along her little line and her length was bang on 2nd centile too so was all in proportion. When your BF it just feels like a direct dig doesn’t it, like you’re not feeding them enough. Fortunately we didn’t have issues with allergies or reflux, she did have a tongue tie snipped at 4 weeks but there wasn’t really anything else to blame. Again low supply was raised by a lactation consultant without any real evidence which really worried me but the next one I saw dismissed it. Can you use a haakaa to express? That was the only way I found time to do it and topped her up with it even though She seemed perfectly content with just BF and had good nappies etc.
I’m glad you’re getting better care now and that it helps with her weight gain. Keep going, it sounds like you’re doing a great job x

My DD was born 4 weeks early but only weighed 3lb 9oz. Even now at 8 months old she is still tiny and people are always making comments about it which used to upset me. She has reflux too so really struggled with feeding for the first 4.5 months and every bottle she wouldn’t finish would make me super paranoid that she’d lose weight (FTM too). It’s hard, it really is but you’ve got to ignore the comments and just focus on your DD otherwise you’ll become obsessed and not enjoy her (like I did).

I was advised to start weaning at 5 months due to the reflux and she started gaining weight better and jumped up a couple of centiles. She’s still small compared to other babies but I think that’s just how she’s meant to be.

As long as she is happy and thriving in other ways, ignore the comments, she’ll catch up in her own time.