ultra clingy non sleeping breast obsessed bottle refuser, should i switch to ff?

[peskipixie]

8mo. doing my head in. wont have ebm from bottle, wont have formula from bottle. my friend reckons he will take it eventually if i stop bf. i dont want to stop bf, i just want to stop the clinginess and non sleeping. and he has just bitten me which doesnt help. anyone been here and done it?

oh and he doesnt like dh so dont suggest that! (no boobs)

Solved the biting at about this age - by immediately stopping and making unavailable. Ds also rather clingy - at home didn't want to go to sleep anywhere but my arms - and yet would just sleep on cushion at nursery. Eventually started being able to put him down in cot for a nap. Ds not clingy though - don't know what you can do about this except perhaps get something else that he can cling to and can be transported between people?

Hi my 7month DD wont take bottle of anything (gave up trying at 5mths after 10 weeks of trying various ones) but we have been persisting with a cup for a few months now and now using a dody cup, a slanty one. She wont take milk in it but will take water, its helping. I go back to work in 4 weeks time so really scared that she will have to wait for milk from me but happy now that when she desparate she will have water. Not sure if this will help you.

Hi Peskipixie

I've been there!

Sounds like the last thing he needs is to stop breastfeeding. This will just make him more insecure at a time when he sounds like he is very insecure. Babies go through phases and if we ignore their signals or refuse to meet their needs it doesn't go away, it just gets worse or registered as some unmet need. I know it's really hard sometimes but I would advise you give him more cuddles, more boob and bring him into bed with you for a bit. This will reassure him and give him the security to become more independent when he is ready for it.The whole 'rod for your back' thing is a myth. You can't force a child who is feeling insecure to be independent unless you deal with the feelings first.

I have followed this advice with my two girls now and they are both very independent and chilled girls.

Tips - does he get lots of physical affection and cuddles apart from breastfeeding? Maybe he knows that is the way to be held close so always wants the boob? Perhaps try lots of cuddles, baths together etc without necessarily feeding?

And re biting - ough poor you. I shouted out very loud (couldnt stop myself!) NO and pulled her off and she never did it again. I refused to look her in the eye as well. Very upset but it taught her!

Good luck and don't give up!!!

Georgie
www.motherland1.blogspot.com

have you tried a cup for the day feeds?

pixie, you stop bf-ing at your own risk. Your dc could be clingy and non-sleeping for any number of reasons: teething, separation anxiety (which is a normal developmental thing and can kick in around this age), just about to hit developmental milestones (like crawling) or it could just be his personality.

bf-ing could be the only thing that is keeping your ds sane at the moment.

And once you stop, if you lose the milk, it will be curtains for you. Your ds will be more miserable than ever.

Don't you wish we have a crystal ball which could tell us whether stopping bf would cure our lo's problems? I am in the same boat.

p.s. getting someone else to give the bottle /cup feeds might help gx

2 issues here
a) op obviously does not want to have to be around for every feed
b) op wants dc to be less clingy

On a) I think at 8mo it is not worth changing anything, in a few weeks he will start to drop feeds natuarly. Many babies by 10 mhts are just on morning and night feeds, so it really is worth just hanging on for a bit

On b) 8 mo is just a really clingy time. Lots of cuddles and it will get better. Things that help are to go away and come back quickly, playing peek a poo, playing hide the daddy under the duvet etc.

As with all the other replies I wouldn't suggest stopping bf. My dd1 (now nearly 7) refused ff and wouldn't take it even at the childminders (she went from 8mo). She would drink water from a cup though (not one with the 'leak proof' valves as they are impossible to suck through).

I just supplemented dd1's diet with more yogurt & cheese + plenty of ff on her breakfast.

The non-sleeping will get better - especially once they are on the move and tired!

Good Luck!

thanks for all the replies, had to go out earlier. it helps to read that other people have been here and i am sooo glad no one said to stop bf lol! i was worried i would stop and things would get worse and then theres no going back. didnt occur to me he might be feeling insecure, i thought he was just grumpy. he does get loads of cuddles, is hardly ever put down and its very very rare i leave the room without taking him with me. he already sleeps in bed with me, its the only way i get any sleep at all!

thanks again, i will just keep muttering under my breath that it wont last forever. time has just flown past with the other kids but i have never had a baby this clingy and i have to admit he is very hard work, tho worth it obviously!

Message withdrawn

it does help thanks. i dont remember any of my others doing this. serves me right for being all smug and thinking i knew what i was doing with 4th chid! many lessons have been learned in the last 8 months