Help me improve my chances of successful bf - 2nd time round

[doggiesayswoof]

I had a horrible time with bf my first - sadly I hadn't discovered mn.

In the end dd was excl bf until 4.5 months, then I added one ff per day because of slow weight gain (on hv's advice of course). I carried on mix feeding until about 10 months. Looking back I'm reasonably happy with the outcome, but I hated giving formula, and the whole process had a terrible effect on me - took me months to get over it.

There were 2 main problems: really painful cracked nipples which just would not heal, and dd's weight.

The thing is that I got lots of support and I was doing it all right - but my nipples would not heal.

3 separate bfcs told me that my supply was fine, latch was fine, everything was fine. I was not cutting down on feeding b/c of the pain - I was just feeding through it.

However by 4 months dd's weight gain was negligible and hv started mentioning 'malabsorption syndrome'.

I have eczema and very sensitive skin and I think I am more prone to cracked nipples b/c of this. I am allergic to lanolin so cannot use Lansinoh.

I am pg and want to bf again but I am terrified - I will not go through all that again, and I'm finding myself tempted to ff rather than try and fail.

What steps can I take now to prepare?

What about Kamilosan? Does that have lanolin in it?

Also, prob stating the oobvious but make sure you have time to relax with your baby, lots of skin to skin and feeding all the time in the early weeks.

Good luck

bump

x-post - Thanks Effie. I'm not sure about Kamillosan. I just am so scared of my nipples cracking AT ALL tbh.

hi,

try this website www.breastfeedingheaven.com

I suffered from nipples so badly cracked they fell off with dd1. with dd2 i had an action plan which worked.

i used the mothermates gel pads religiously for ten days, and i had not so much as a blister. totally painless breastfeeding, and now i'm still feeding dd2 at 9 months. stock up during your pregnancy, you wont regret it.

Also lots of info here:

www.kellymom.com

Oh thanks for the link. I will have a look. Didn't try gel pads the last time - the cracks were already there by the time I came out of hospital, so I was using jelonet which was useless - but I still used it religiously for about 2 months b/c the midwives told me to

I too had problems bfeeding my DD so can totally understand where you're coming from - I'd almost like to have another just so I can exorcise some ghosts.

What I'd do a (hypothetical) 2nd time around is relax more and trust my instincts more. I found out that there were a thousand theories for everything and most of it was conflicting. I wish I hadn't got sucked in by a lot of them and had had the self confidence to ignore ignore ignore.

My DD was a slow gainer too, she still is tiny at 2.3 yet eats like a horse. It's just her metabolism. However, because it didn't fit the charts I got grief from all directions. I had started topping up too but after seeing it didn't make much, if any difference to her weight gain I decided to ditch the formula after a few weeks (got grief for that too).

Anyway, I just wanted to send you loads of great vibes.

BTW, re the cracked nipples, a mate of mine who has just had a baby has these silver nipple shields and swears they work wonders. I wish I'd known about them when I started bfeeding!

Thanks effie - have kellymom bookmarked after reading about it on here. I have a reading list ready for when my mat leave starts...

First off ex bf until 4.5 mths is just brilliant
Second how you feed your baby is not the most important thing. There are plenty of happy loved well fed children who have been given formula. Yes breast is best but please don't beat yourself up about it if it is not working for you.
Third I think you need to talk through your feelings about this with someone in RL.

Thanks Brangelina

Dd is pretty tall now for her age (she's 3) but still v slim. She was so tiny - still in 3-6 month clothes on her first birthday - but all her other developmental milestones were as expected, she was always bright as a button etc - but the hv just seemed to ignore all that and concentrate on her weight

Good on you though for ditching the formula - I was not confident enough to do that. Hopefully I will be this time.

Mental note to get some silver thingies...

I know witchandchips. I realise now that we did pretty well but at the time it was like the end of the world - I had pnd too and I couldn't see past it. I do have some issues still...

I am thinking of trying to see a bfc before no.2 is born to talk things through but they are so stretched I don't know if they will be able to do this.

silver nipple cups

Hi Doggie,

You did really well with the bfing first time around and it sounds like there were serious issues with the weight gain and so following advice and mixed feeding sounds fine.

I mix fed DD1 as she was tiny and I got paranoid about her weight gain and stopped bfing her at 8 months. DD1 has eczema and am always niggled by the formula giving. With DD2 I was determined to not give her formula and as with many second babies I just hardly ever had her weighed! She is still bfed at 19 months and has never has formula.

I've never had cracked nipple (phew) but lots of good tips on this thread already.

So I would say that firstly try to ease off the weighing as long as you are happy that baby is weeing/pooing/happy. Remember that all babies are different and all latches are different so your nips may be better this time around. DD2 was 2 pounds heavier at birth than her sister but is now exactly the same size (relatively) - obviously I am never going to have big boppers!

On the PND front I had this for over 3 years before starting ADs (whilst still bfing) 3 months ago - wow, what a difference. I just feel normal instead of like a raging lunatic and enjoy my kids soooo much more. Successful bfing really did help me this time as I felt that it was the only thing i was doing right...hence my never weaning. Trouble is that the ADs are so good that I am broody again and the folic acid tablets have appeared in the fruit bowl.

Good luck and remember that there is loads of support on here.

Fio - thank you, it's good to know I can give the kamillosan a try if I need something. I think I will do a wee skin test beforehand to see if I react - it was a nightmare trying different potions last time when nips were already sore, and making them worse. (Durr emoticon)

Laundrylover - I am resolved to get out of hospital asap and then hide from the hv. Dd's weight was a massive worry, but in hindsight it was only because of hv. I went to a bf support group and none of the bfcs ever expressed any concern about her weight - all the other indicators were fine. Really good to read about your experiences with dd2 and beating the pnd etc. I found ADs a godsend as well, but I struggled on for about 6 months before trying them.

Oh god let me think, what did I put on them?

Cabbage leaves (they just stank)
Vaseline - useless
Jelonet (gauze stuff impregnated with vaseline - useless)
Lansinoh (hence discovering my lanolin allergy - ow)
Daktarin (for suspected thrush - was allergic to that)
Bicarbonate of soda paste (massive itching ensued)

Drop of breastmilk - never seemed to do much good tbh

One tremendously sucky baby - owwww

Probably other things I have blotted out

Vaseline is brilliant for cracked nipples and is fine for the baby to have in mouth, put some on after each feed. Try to be really strict about taking the baby off if you are uncomfortable (hard I know when you have finally managed to latch the baby on) as it will save you loads of discomfort. Another tip that really helped me is to have the baby feed in different positions.

Also might be worth trying to find examples of the new WHO weight gain charts, they are based on BF babies and have much more sensible weight gain curves. The ones currently used here are based on mainly bottle fed babies.

Really hope it is a much better experience this time.