Panicked about slow weight gain

[BlueLilyLilyBlue]

Wondering if anyone has any advice.

My DS is 7 weeks old. I didn't get off to the best start with breastfeeding - my DS and I were both on IV antibiotics in hospital and he was very jaundiced, so was far too sleepy for the first few days, so I syringe fed him hand expressed colostrum. He would latch on but then immediately fall asleep. I didn't have the best experience there as the midwives were so adamant I should continue breastfeeding and the paediatricians were pressuring me to formula feed. I felt so intensely guilty and then when I got upset about it acted like I was being hysterical. I was transferred to transitional care after that for poor infant feeding and was forced to top up with formula. I tried expressing but could hardly express anything. Eventually I was allowed to go home once he started latching on properly. I breastfeed during the day and then retained one formula feed at night after offering breast.

He initially gained weight very slowly so I was going in for regular weigh ins with the midwife. He was born at 7lb 5oz, lost 6.7% weight first time round and then eventually got to 7lb 7oz after 3.5 weeks so I was discharged.

He had his tongue tie cut 2 weeks ago as his latch kept getting worse and he wasn't feeding well at all. That has definitely improved bf although I still have to unlatch and relatch him several times when he's fussy on an evening, although latches fine in the day usually. He cluster feeds pretty much all evening every evening and has done for weeks. He gets very very fussy feeding in the evening, crying and pulling off and feeds almost continuously, although how much of that is nutritive sucking I'm not sure. He refuses a dummy. He sleeps around 5 hours at night and normally has really good nappy output- poos 3/4 times a day and wet nappies every 2 hours or so. He's alert and active, holding his head up really well during tummy time and even rolled himself over onto his back yesterday. I've kept the formula feed once at night as its the only way I get any sleep at all. He doesn't nap well and definitely does not feed to sleep with bf. I was cluster feeding constantly throughout the night without it so I'm reluctant to lose it. It also feels like at least I know he's getting that much milk, whereas I have no idea what he's getting via bf.

He's quite small and a few mums at baby sensory asked me if he was preterm as he's so small. I weighed him on my own scales just by weighing myself with him then just me to get an idea. Now I'm ridiculously panicked as it looks like he's only about 8 and a half pounds. The last time he was weighed was nearly 2.5 weeks ago and he was 7lb 12oz then so its not much at all. He's due to be weighed again on Friday and I'm so panicked that he will won't have gained much.

I just feel like I'm trying so so hard feeding all the time and I genuinely thought he was doing ok and I had really improved with bf. It just feels like I'm just not doing enough for him and I'm so tired. I'm worried the HV on Friday is going to force me to bottle feed or that there will be something wrong with him health wise. I'm so worried my milk supply is low and I'm starving him. My breasts never leak and they rarely feel engorged - they're a bit bigger after his longest sleep but not painful. I don't feel anything with a letdown and I can't hand express very well - literally only drops. I can't tell whether he's swallowing a lot of the time as he doesn't make any noise. He clamps on sometimes and I get vasospasm in my nipples but I think this is just while he's being fussy rather than a flow thing. I'm taking fenugreek capsules (although I don't think im taking enough) and starting from today eating oats. I've had some help from breast feeding advisors but they just say to keep going as long as his latch is fine. I think I've partly been put off asking for help as I felt like such a bad mum in hospital.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm so emotional about it and really don't want to have to give up breastfeeding but part of me thinks at least I will know he's getting properly fed with bottle feeding. I'm so worried that I'm just not doing the best thing for him.

Hi @BlueLilyLilyBlue! Wow I don’t know where to start, I could have wrote an extremely similar post when my little one was that age. Not got much to add in addition to the helpful comments above.

I also had slow weight gain despite the long feeding times and highly recommend breast compressions (YouTube then) if you aren’t already doing them. As they help the baby feed more effectively. I also did switch nursing around that age where you feed on one side for 5 mins then swap, then 5 mins on that side then swap, keep swapping until they’re done. Supposedly helps in generating letdowns. A bit of a pain to do in terms of latching but you don’t do it forever.

Reading your comments I wouldn’t be concerned with your supply but you can get prescribed a medication (domperidon I think) which helps with supply so could be an option if you are concerned.

I felt the same as what you have described, not putting pressure on myself to BF/not use formula because I thought it was the best thing but because I just really wanted to do it/enjoyed it! All my decisions were driven by not wanting to impact supply rather than wanting to avoid formula.

If it is what you want to continue with you can do it, I promise! I was in a very similar situation from about week 3 to week 10 but with support and hard work it got better. Baby dropped to 5th centile but through breastfeeding alone got up to 25th by about 3 months, then 50th by about 4 months. Early on I just couldn’t see how it would get easier or could ever imagine it working so my baby would gain enough weight. I was constantly stressed that they weren’t getting enough. However over time it got better and from about the 3-4 month mark I stopped worrying and even though it was the hardest thing I have done I’m so thankful I pushed through. I’m now just shy of 12 months of feeding, something I never thought I’d achieve when my little one was the age yours is now. You can do this and keep us updated xxx

@NeuroMama your GP sounds so reassuring! I'm glad your LO is doing so well. Like you say, it's tough when slow weight gain is the only issue and they are happy and healthy in every other respect.

@Careybeary congrats on making it to nearly 12 months that's amazing! It's very reassuring. I've been doing breast compressions and finding them useful in stimulating his sucking so hopefully they'll help.

Decided after lots of thought that I'm going to mix feed this weekend and onwards. I've been topping up his feeds with 60ml formula - starting with one breast, then bottle, then other breast. If he asks for more then breast. I'd rather do it this way than drop a whole feed as I think it'll protect my supply more this way. He's never had any nipple confusion or trouble switching between the two so think this will be OK. So far today he hasn't fed any less, he's still a bottomless pit so hopefully that will keep my supply up! Then later on if he prefers bottle feeding we can go to bottle, stay mixed feeding if he prefers or perhaps go to ebf if my supply doesn't suffer too much. I figure he'll benefit from the extra calories now, I can feel like I'm doing something positive for his weight and I've still got options later on. Plus I still get to maintain that lovely bf bond for now

Only issue is that I've already had to move to comfort milk. After 2 top ups last night, this morning he was so gassy and really upset. He wouldn't let me touch his tummy . He's always been quite gassy so I'm already using the Dr Browns anti colic bottles so hopefully comfort milk will help reduce it a bit.