How do I get through another night?

[nervousnelly8]

I'm on day 6 with baby number 2. Breastfeeding has been agony from the start, despite what I thought was good positioning and a good latch.

Been to the feeding team today who have separated a 80-90% tongue tie. They were surprised baby could feed at all. I am in so much pain. My nipples are bleeding and pussy. I spend every feed wishing it's over and every hour between feeds dreading the next one. Nipple shields are now providing no relief at all.

The latch is apparently good and the advice is that things should get better now without the tongue tie. I'm just not sure I'm going to make it through another night of feeds :-( I'd really rather not offer a bottle of expressed milk or formula because combi feeding with my first ended up giving us almost the worst of both. Does anyone have any tips for how to persevere?

Really feel for you, that's a massive tongue tie. Are you taking paracetamol nervous?

There are some tips on Kellymom for dealing with cracked and painful nipples.

The National Breastfeeding Helpline is open until 9.30 pm. Can you give them a ring now and talk it through with them? They are there to support you just as much to offer practical information and things are often better if you talk now rather than trying to cope in the middle the night.

Congratulations on your new LO too

I was in a similar situation with DD at the same point. I have no idea what got me through those early nights to be honest, but I do remember repeating the advice “never give up on a bad night, wait and see how you feel in the morning” to myself like a mantra. I didn’t see an immediate difference once DD’s tongue tie was snipped, but things did definitely improve gradually over a week or so. You’ve done so well to keep going through the tongue tie. It really is agony! You probably do it already but I found a deep breath and count to 10 as she latched would help with the initial pain. It won’t be this hard forever. After our rocky start we ended up continuing until she was almost 2. You’ve got this

Oh and I second the National breastfeeding helpline. I’ll never forget how lovely the lady was I spoke to. She definitely got me through the worst night.

No advice but just wanted to say it sounds like you're doing amazingly in such a hard situation. I hope things get better quickly xxxx

Argh I feel your pain after two tongue tied babies! To give you hope, after the second baby had their tie divided it got better way quicker than it did with my first. Both times I got thrush and the second time when I started using cream (either canestan or something similar) the pain was so much better, I hadn't realised how much pain that was causing! I also didn't find Lansinoh helped as it is so thick it was painful to rub on. I used a natural herbal balm between feeds and that really helped. Hope it gets better for you soon!

Just in case you don't read the replies until a little later nervous, the NCT Helpline is open until midnight

You're doing amazingly well to have got this far with such bad tongue tie!

I struggled to begin with and the pain was awful. Lots of tears and toe curling and holding my breath when my daughter latched on. What helped was my husband making an extra effort to respond when I was in pain - which sounds silly but he got so used to me wincing he stopped reacting.

When he acknowledged that I was hurting and told me how well I was doing it really helped.

No advice but wanted to give you someone else who was listening.

Pussy? Speak to a Dr as soon as you can as you might have an infection and need some antibiotics. Also consider whether you could have nipple thrush. Both very painful and possible at any time. Take pain relief in the meantime and the helplines are a good idea.

You're so determined and doing so well.

Good luck

My three were all tongue tied but once they were snipped the pain resolved very quickly but I did take a break for one night a couple of times. I expressed into a sterilized spoon and dh used a sterilized Calpol syringe to suck it up and feed the baby! You could try expressing and cup feeding too if you want to avoid a bottle. I really think giving your body and your baby's tongue a chance to heal for 12 hours will do you a world of good.

Genuinely within 48 hours of being snipped feeding was almost pain free so fingers crossed you're nearly there. Sending love and solidarity

use a cup... a shit glass or anything like that. don't pour into baby's mouth, let him lap it like a cat xx

I agree with FeedMy that cup feeding might help. Dr Seats explains how to do it [] https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-eating/breastfeeding/faqs/alternatives-bottles here]].

If it all gets a bit much for you tonight, have you got some ebm or formula in? If so DH could try with cup feeding whilst you take some paracetamol and read the Kellymom article on looking after your nipples

Thanks everyone. Reading your replies has gotten me through another feed. One side is much worse than the other, I'm getting worried it might be infected. There is a lump under my arm and it is swollen and sore. My milk only came in on Wednesday and it doesn't really seem to have "gone down" since then. I just fed on that side and can feel her "draining" the lump as she feeds which wasn't happening before the tie was cut, so I suppose that's a good sign. I really hope it's not mastitis as realistically I don't feel in a good place to get through that without giving up on the breastfeeding

Hey OP, if baby has just had a good feed then try expressing a few ounces off to ease the developing engorgement, heat boobs first, hot wash cloth, bath or even dip in a bowl of warm water. Nice gentle massage before you pump. If you don't have a set of breast shells, get some, keep wearing them for the next few days, they will let air at the skin and help healing, also will help ease any engorgement building up. Lanisloh or coconut oil on nipples, lots, often. Baby should soon figure out what to do, you got this momma 🌺🌺🌺

@nervousnelly8 maybe you want to run it past out of hours if you’ve got a possible infection spreading to under your arm? Starting antibiotics if needed overnight can make a huge difference. It’s ok to call up and ask. You shouldn’t have puss

How are you this morning @nervousnelly8? Hope the night was better than expected

I just wanted to give you the Kellymom link on Mastitis if you haven't already read it.

I know it's morning now but I still think that talking all of what's happened and how you are feeling with a BFC on one of the BFing Helplines might be worthwhile