I;m worried I'm overfeeding my 3 week baby and making her obese

[Nicki10]

Hi

My DD is 3 weeks old today. The midwife came last Friday after a 10 day gap in weighing and she had gone from 8'5 to 9'8. She was born at 8'9. My midwife told me to try to make DD have 4oz every 4 hours. We did this at the weekend and it completely unsettled her. She has never been a cryer but at the weekend she got 6 hours sleep in 24 hours and was constantly looking for milk.

I rang my HV on Monday as I have never liked my MW to ask her adivce and my HV said to ignore her and said that she was having the right amount for her weight, about 4oz every 3 hours. I am now trying to gwt hwr into a routine and I am writing all her feeds down but i am so paranoid and worried about making her obese.

Since midnight she has had
01:50 4ozs
06:20 3ozs
08:30 30zs
10:30 4ozs

I am really worried because she had 6ozs in less than 2 hours but i was in tears at 8:30 as the only thing I could do to stop her crying was feed her. She was constantly sucking for milk. I have tried water and she does take it ut certainly knows the difference and isn't fooled.

Please can someone help and offer me advice

Sorry you are having a hard time, go with the advice your HV gave and trust your instincts, you know your babe best! Its really hard first time round and there's lots of conflicting advice. No chance of making her obese at 3 weeks. Tummy is small and she will need 3 hourly or more often feeds at this stage. Please try not to worry - you sound like you are doing great.

Nicki - I can understand why you are upset. It's horrible to feel undermined like this.

Would it help to try asking yourself why you are following the advice of the midwife who you don't like, and whose advice seems very rigid, and not listening to the HV who you do like and who seems more flexible? This might help you avoid feeling 'got at' by the midwife!

Many, many babies feed more often than four hourly - feeding responsively is kinder and meets babies' needs better. As you've said, your baby seems to be looking for milk more often than this, and gets upset when it's not there. These days, water is not considered necessary for babies, either.

Have you thought about returning to breastfeeding at all? Breastfeeding makes it easier to get away from timings and quantities and may also reduce the risk of obesity, so it may suit you better. You may not be interested in this at all, so excuse the idea....but it's only fair to share information with you

Can you try as the HV suggests, but give her dummy in between those times to satisfy her need to suck? some babies are naturally more sucky than others.

another thing, is she very windy? they can confuse wind pains with hunger pains as well. Try stopping halfway through a feed to wind her then give the rest and wind again.

I wouldn't worry too much about making her obese at this stage, it's generally the case that if they take too much milk in it just comes right back up again.

It is so hard when it's your first and you are stillworking out which way is up, but you are doing a great job

Thank you for your advice and support. Tiktok I desperately wanted to BF but I was very ill when I had DD I had emergency CS and then hemorraged and had blood transfusions. Then my digestive system started to break down so I was unable to hold or look after DD for the first 3 days so it was entirely left for my DP to do. So obviously we had to formula feed then and after that all the drugs I had to take meant that I still couldn't BF by which stage she had got so used to the bottle that it was just too late unfortunately. I think that's why I'm extra paranoid about overfeeding her.

She is a windy baby and thats wht all hte MW in hospital said too. We always wind her 3 times during a feed but it is very difficult or rare to get anything up and it all seems to be coming out the other end which always makes her cry. Does anyone know of any good way to help get rid of this?

Nicki,

I agree with the others on this and you should do what is right.
My dd is 10 weeks and still wants feeding every 3 hrs during the day and upto about 6 weeks she was putting on a good 11oz a week but has slowed down to around 8oz now. So I wouldn't worry about her weight it shows she is feeding well.

I would follow Dasiy's advice as well I still stop dd at least twice in a feed to wind and try to keep her upright for 1/2hr after to make sure it has all come up.

I know its hard but it does get better with practice

Could you try infacol before feeds to help with wind problem?
Sounds like you had a really difficult time at the birth , you must still be getting your strength back.
Do you have some help at home?

Nicki, it's very sad about what happened after the birth

If you are interested, it is really not too late to relactate - to get bf back. This would not be very easy, but it can be done. It's something you would need to think about and be sure you had support for, so no one should push it. Sometimes, when people have had a difficult birth experience, breastfeeding can be healing...but relactation is not for everyone, I know.

I am putting infacol in her feeds but should I be giving it her straight from the bottle?

My DP had 2 weeks off but we were in hospital for 8 days so he went back a week and a half ago. My mum came up to stay last week but had to go home and this is the first week on my own. I was feeling alright but I think since I have been left on my own during the days it has shot my confidence a bit and I am still upset about how the birth went and how I felt for the first few days. Although I am completely bonded with DD and in love I do feel I have missed something not being able to look after her or do any of her firsts during the first few days and I'm still upset about the BFing.

Tiktok how would I try this could I do it on my own with her next feed? I don't think I have much milk left.

your DD is probably having a growth spurt. my DS is 3 weeks today and none of his feeding is to exact amounts or times. roughly every 4 hours hours he has 3ozs but this can vary from 2 to 4ozs. sometimes he wakes up hungry after 3 hours others its 5 hours. He is also getting some bf and this cuts down what he wants from a bottle by about half.

If my DS wants more then I feed him if not then I let him go a max of 5 hours and wake him for a feed.

If your DD is within exceptable weight for age guides (also depending on parents size as well) then you are doing fine.

no baby is going to follow a text book exactly!

Nicki - read he Infacol bottle. I give DS (BF) the Infacol just before feeding and I think its the same for bottle feeding.

Nicki10 Tiktok will be back in a moment I'm sure but I do know that you can put your DD to the breast whenever you like and it will help stimulate more milk the more often you do it. You would have to offer the breast a lot and also express in between to build up your supply. Your best best would be to contact one of the BF organisations. I'm sorry you had such a rough start BTW, good luck

The type of bottle you use can also make a big difference with wind/colic. There are Dr. Brown's anti-colic bottles and the ones that I used and recommend are the MAM ultivent bottles. They have a valve in the bottom and you can actually hear the excess air escaping from the bottle rather than being swallowed by baby. It made a huge difference for us. They are fiddly to put together, but easy enough once you know how, and worth the effort, in my opinion.

I think she is within the guidelines for the weight that she was born at. This is what is funny she is a much bigger baby than either myself or DP are and I am tiny only 4'10 and DP is trim as well so neither are particularly big!.

Try givng the infacol before feeds.
NCT brastfeeding line is 0870 444 8708 you don't have to be a member to use it - if you want some advice before trying Bf. If it doesn't work out - don't beat yourself up .
All new mums feels anxious about feeding , growth , crying , sleeping .... the list is endless - it will all get easier. Hang on in there.

Tiktok is quite right (would have said the same myself but she was here first )It's not necessarily too late to breastfeeding or even do a mixture of both. feel free to call one of the helplines - or happy for you to call me on my ABM helpline (01753 534104 after 4) to discuss options if you want.

Nicki - the milk is only part of breastfeeding! You can put your baby to the breast for the closeness and communication, and if she latches on and sucks - great! If she gets milk out - even greater

To relactate - to bring milk back to a full supply - means a combination of frequent offering of the breast plus expressing several times a day (at least 8 in 24 hours).

If you don't want to go for doing all of that, then you can do the skin to skin thing, offering the breast thing, feeding with a bottle with your top open....all that.

You won't be able to turn the breastmilk on again like a tap, but most babies of this age will still manage to know something of what to do at the breast, and all of them will adore a skin to skin cuddle just for the joy of it. So, have a try and see what you think

ds was having 4 or 5 oz at that age.