My GP's view on EBF - I'm not happy

[lyndyloo]

GP really p'd me off yesterday. Went to see her about a couple of things and it came up on my records that I had mastitis recently. She was incredulous that I am still feeding DD at 15 months and said 'it's not doing me or her any good' and 'no wonder I am so run down' blah blah blah. I quoted WHO guidelines to no effect so then just shut up and let her rabbit on about how DD doesn't need the milk now etc. (Maybe she doesn't but isn't bf about more than that????)

Anyway just ventilating - feel a bit miffed and don't like the lecture. No point in complaining - she's a bit old school tbh but feeling a bit down and really could have done without the lecture. (This was on the back of asking a HV a simple question on Monday and being told 'don't know - ask your GP' in an amazingly off hand manner! God - if some of these 'professionals' utilised their 'customer service skills' like that in the private sector, they would get the flaming sack!)

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

GPs dont get training on this kind of thing - only if they want to and it is offered locally, and there's so much updating it is hard for them.

My dh got surprise from colleagues (inc other GPs and HV and district nurse/midwives) when he pushed 2 yr bf in an educational meeting (cos I was still feeding dd2 at almost 2). Kind of 'what's the point?'

HVs are generally worse than GPs IME!

tori, your facts re: population are right, and I've heard this opinion before (in fact, coincidentally, from my two GP friends...) but the WHO guidelines are exactly that, remembering the W bit, not aimed at areas short of food. And the American Association of Paediatrics also supports EBF.

Considering the poor nutritional value of much cheap, processed food in the 'developed' world (not sure if that's really the right word to use any more), IMHO I think EBF would benefit those areas as much as those in areas of scarcity. There is no superior drink, regardless of what else a child is eating.

This isn't personal, but you hit a bit of a nerve with me there (can you tell ) as I got a bit hacked off with people scoffing at my BFing even past 6 months and saying that it's just for people living without clean water, it doesn't apply to us.

Does bf-ing make me run-down?

I am bf-ing ds (1 year) the whole night, wake up at 6 am every weekday to a crushing 3 + 2 hour school run/commute, 6.5 hours at work, then non-stop childcare and chores once I get home.

I think the bf-ing is one of the easiest parts of it. Never thought it made me feel run-down.

blueshoes - do not underestimate the fact that your nights are interrupted by breastfeeding in your general fatigue .

I am still breastfeeding my daughter, who will be three next month. Some nights she sleeps right through, and on the mornings that she has I feel fantastic and get through the day with no problem at all (and although I do not work I walk about 10km every day with school drop off/pick up and shopping/errands).

However, on the nights that she wakes up and needs a little snack to drop back off, I sleep much less soundly and am on much less good form the next day.

Women were not designed to breastfeed and have a heavy workload (whatever that workload might consist of).

you're right Anna - that's the point I was trying to get acros we are not designed to bf and have a heavy workload.

And often, we can't change the heavy workload unfortunately. It's far easier to stop bfing, even though we don't want to.

Belgo - men need to shoulder more of the heavy workload IMO to let women breastfeed and care for their babies... but I'll probably get flamed for saying so

agree entirely - if only it was possible in real life!

Not only partners, but also employers need to be more considerate to bfing mothers - in own experience shows me they are not.

Belgo - I'm afraid that I don't agree that employers have any duty towards breastfeeding mothers. I think that the state has a duty to protect new mothers, and that that should include legislation to allow mothers to breastfeed while working, but I wouldn't expect my employer, if I had one, to be concerned above and beyond what legislation required.

However, I do think that fathers have a major responsibility towards their breastfeeding partners, and I get incensed about talk of equal maternity and paternity leave... maternity leave ought to be about breastfeeding and maternal recovering from pregnancy and birth, not about some airy-fairy bonding thing. Bonding happens naturally when real issues are addressed.

i'm quite surprised at this thread, i bf ds who is 2.5 and am not in the least run down. yes he often wakes me up at 5.30am for milk, but i expect a lot of non bfing two year olds do that to their parents too. and nuggling down feeding in bed is a very effective way to stop him demanding we get up!

i suspect lots of mothers of toddlers are generally run down and bf isn't the cause but seems to be getting the blame.

fishie - I don't think anyone is suggesting that EBF is the only cause of fatigue in mothers of young children .

But I do think it gets overlooked as a contributory factor.

As are a VAriety of things.
Blaming breastfeeding is as illogical as saying
'You are exhausted because of changing nappies/preparing babyrice/carrying your infant. Why not drop it and you will feed better.'

I told you,they talk crap.
Why anyone even assumes they know owt beyond basic medical stuff and who to refer to is a mystery to me.

Interesting points. Anna, I thought about what you said about women not designed for bf-ing and a heavy workload.

But somehow I wouldn't single out bf-ing per se out of the great number of things as contributing to my rather treadworn being. I am worn out because I have a heavy workload, fullstop. I would not give the fact that I am continuing to bf any greater or less contributory significance as say, my school run - which is much worse BTW.

yes, bf-ing does interrupt my sleep, up to 3 times an hour. I have had 2 of the world's worst sleepers as children, so I understand what you mean. But even with all that disruption, I am fine in the morning, really. I am used to it. Bf-ing is incidental. It is just one of the ways I used to get dd/ds back to sleep.

I agree dh has to help out - as much in getting ds back to sleep as in doing the school run sometimes or bathing the children or taking time off if they are ill.

I never thought to ask for special consideration because of bf-ing.

I guess what I am reacting to is somehow the idea that bf-ing is tiring for the mother - it plays into the myth that bf-ing is somehow difficult and martyr-like. If I was not able to cope, I would think about simplifying my life rather than drop bf-ing, which is for a relatively short time anyway, in the grand scheme of things.

BTW, Anna, well done on bf-ing your 3 year old! For some reason, once I weaned dd at 18 months, she started sleeping through and her sleep became much more robust. Hoping ds will be the same ...

I think that breastfeeding is undoubtedly tiring for some mothers, just as pregnancy is extremely tiring for some and completely innocuous for others.

I have never been as thin as an adult as when breastfeeding (and I get thin when stressed from work etc). So breastfeeding certainly ate into my physical resources.

On the sleeping through - my daughter slept through regularly (while still breastfed) until she started pre-school at the beginning of September. She has slept less well since. That is true of all her classmates, BTW, only one of whom to my knowledge is also still breastfed.

Agree. Some mothers probably do find bf-ing tiring.

Goes to show how different our experiences can be. Dd is zonked at night now that she has started nursery school. She used to go to ft day nursery (finishing 6 pm). Yet now, she is more tired since starting school (finishing 3 pm)! Can't complain.

fishie - yes, you're right, bfing does get the blame for mothers who are run down. That's because it is easy to blame the bfing - and certainly, in my case, stopping bfing meant that I was less run down. My point is that wasn't the ideal solution to the problem - I would have much preferred lie ins and afternoon naps - then I would have continued bfing no problem. Interestingly, I didn't realise quite how tired I had been, when, for the first time in four years, I wasn't bfing or pregnant, and I suddenly had loads of energy. I could even stay awake past 9pm!

Anna - I thought that may be controversial suggesting that employers be more considerate to bfing mothers . You're right, it should be up to the government to provide the right legislation. The very nature of my job (in Belgium)was not conducive to bfing - different shifts every week, working ten days or more in a row, sometimes with as little as just 7 hours between shifts. No where to express milk apart from the staff toilet, and absolutely no time to express milk. My colleagues thought I was mad to continue bfing.

I was really hoping/expecting my daughter would get more tired when she started school... but in fact she seems to need less sleep and is more energetic than ever.

We are all so different.

Anna - that's a shame - since dd1 started school, she started to sleep very well - going to bed at 7.30pm and sleeping 10 or 11 hours through.

My daughter has ditched her daytime nap since starting school and is now going to bed at 10.30 pm and getting up at 8 am - and still insists on going to the playground to run off her excess energy after school and before lunch .

She's a very robust child... the paed gave her a vaccination on Tuesday and couldn't believe how my daughter didn't even squeak when a great big needle was stuck in her thigh.

that's not much sleep! She may change and need more at some point (hopefully!)

My dd1 is exhausted from school - that's great becasue it means she sticks to her routine and her behaviour in general is really good.

She's never needed much sleep, so I doubt it will change much.

However, she is also better behaved and even nicer to be with now she has started school - I think she appreciates me a bit more now that I am not there all the time (and her maîtresse is quite severe ).

funny, I mentioned my dd 4 is zonked but she really only sleeps (through, I must add) from 8:30-9pm to 6:30am ie not much more than your dd, Anna, in terms of hours. Ditched daytime naps 6 months ago.

I somehow don't think her sleep will increase, sadly.

Does bf makeyou more tired after a year? It's just that I'm losing weight despite eating like a hoss and still bfing lots at night (DS is 1 and a crap sleeper). I thought it was running round after a toddler. Not that I want to stop bf atm, but could be an excuse for more cake...

Starlight - that's great! I hope it works out for you.

Effieperine - of course bfing lots at night and running around after a toddler will make you lose weight - definitely an excuse for more cake