13 week old feeding for 2+ hours

pinknsparkly · 2020-10-18T00:54:55+00:00

Hi all, I'm really hoping some of you may be able to help me. My 13 week old little is exclusively breastfed (we've been trying, and failing, to get her to take a bottle since 6 weeks). She often feeds for more than 2 hours at a time, particularly overnight. The long day time feeds aren't too bad but the night time ones are destroying me! She is genuinely feeding for that entire time, and if I remove her from my breast before she stops feeding then she fusses and whinges until she goes back on the breast. I have tried settling her to sleep but after half an hour/45 mins, she's still whinging, and threatening to start (or already screaming. She is currently 1 hour and 50 mins into q feed with no signs of stopping any time soon! Do you have any helpful suggestions as to how I can encourage her to finish feeding more quickly?

MsChatterbox · 18/10/2020 01:57

Have you tried a dummy yet?

Megan2018 · 18/10/2020 02:00

If her weight gain and nappies are good then it’s entirely normal I’m afraid.
Babies feed for comfort as well as nutrition, sometimes extended feeds are to promote supply and sometimes it's comfort. Ride it out, it’s not forever. I watched a lot of box sets to pass the time!

PerditaMacleod · 18/10/2020 02:05

No suggestions on how to speed her up, but do you co-sleep, or have you considered it? I fed both of my DC lying down and it saved my life! They could feed as long as they wanted and I could just nod off so it didn't matter how long they took.

FourPlasticRings · 18/10/2020 02:20

Co-sleep and side-lie to feed, as PP said. Babies often prefer to feed at night because, in the days before civilization, night feeding was preferable (mum would be safe somewhere for the night, not needing to be alert and on the move like in the day). Well done for breastfeeding for so long and don't worry- this is a phase and will pass.

You could periodically remove her from the breast to wind her and then put her back if she still wants it.

Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 02:44

@MsChatterbox

Have you tried a dummy yet?

I have tried quite a few times, but she won't have any of it! And for the time being I'm instead concentrating on trying to get her to take a bottle as I'll be going back to work when she's 6 months

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Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 02:46

@Megan2018

If her weight gain and nappies are good then it’s entirely normal I’m afraid. Babies feed for comfort as well as nutrition, sometimes extended feeds are to promote supply and sometimes it's comfort. Ride it out, it’s not forever. I watched a lot of box sets to pass the time!

Thanks! That's what I suspected I might be told, but was hoping that as she's now out of the fourth trimester, there might be some magical solution I'd not tried :-D

Bingewatching random Netflix shows has become a big part of my life!!

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Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 02:52

@PerditaMacleod

No suggestions on how to speed her up, but do you co-sleep, or have you considered it? I fed both of my DC lying down and it saved my life! They could feed as long as they wanted and I could just nod off so it didn't matter how long they took.

We don't co-sleep. I did feed lying down in the early days and would get my husband to keep an eye on us (I'd only do it during the day when he was awake). I did co-sleep with her the other night out of desperation, and felt safer now that she's that much bigger. It took so much effort to get her to sleep in her cot originally (she didn't sleep in it until about 8/9 weeks) that I'm a bit nervous about her refusing to sleep in it if we start co-sleeping! I think it might be the only viable option though.....

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clevername · 18/10/2020 02:52

My DD was like this... Like you say, the daytime ones were fine (I actually really enjoyed them! Although I developed an addiction to Real Housewives as a direct consequence ). It did eventually pass.

When I had my DS I was expecting the same thing but he was always disappointingly done in about 5 mins.

Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 02:58

@FourPlasticRings

Co-sleep and side-lie to feed, as PP said. Babies often prefer to feed at night because, in the days before civilization, night feeding was preferable (mum would be safe somewhere for the night, not needing to be alert and on the move like in the day). Well done for breastfeeding for so long and don't worry- this is a phase and will pass.

You could periodically remove her from the breast to wind her and then put her back if she still wants it.

Thanks - that's really interesting and helpful to understand why she's feeding the way she is! I definitely find that understanding the reasons for her behaviour makes it much easier not to get so frustrated!

I must admit, I don't burp her as much as I probably should do, because even 20mins of winding often doesn't result in a single burp. But I do take her off every half hour or so and give her 5mins of gentle winding to see if she still wants more. 95% of the time, the answer is a resounding "yes"!

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Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 03:01

@clevername

My DD was like this... Like you say, the daytime ones were fine (I actually really enjoyed them! Although I developed an addiction to Real Housewives as a direct consequence

). It did eventually pass.

When I had my DS I was expecting the same thing but he was always disappointingly done in about 5 mins.

That gives me hope that if we have a second baby, it might be different! Though I'm sure there would be something else instead!

I'm really glad I posted, if for no other reason than to hear about other babies that did the same thing!

After three hours, she's finally pooped off the boob

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peanutbutterfries · 18/10/2020 03:09

Hey op. We just had this discussion with DH today on how DS used to feed for 2 hours at night. It does get better. You're very close to the 4 month mark where my own DS suddenly dropped down to 20 mins then 15 and then 10 minutes and then 5 minutes. His 18 months old now and only feeds for a few minutes just to sweeten his mouth when he wants to. Don't worry it will pass x

NameChange30 · 18/10/2020 03:40

Get someone who is trained in tongue tie to check for it. Most midwives and HVs are not trained in tongue tie. You will need the infant feeding team (HV can refer you). Alternatively if there is a breastfeeding support group near you they can often be very good.

My son fed for hours and hours on end and he had tongue tie. I'd been told he didn't have it, but it was diagnosed by an excellent breastfeeding counsellor at a charity-run drop-in for breastfeeding support.

People always post on these threads to say "it's totally normal", and they did on my thread when I posted at the time, but luckily some other people suggested that it could be tongue tie and they were right.

I don't think it is normal for babies to feed non stop for hours and hours.

My son didn't have weight gain issues either, he was gaining weight (and producing wet and dirty nappies) but he had to feed constantly in order to get enough milk to do so.

NameChange30 · 18/10/2020 03:41

www.tongue-tie.org.uk/tongue-tie-information/

Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 15:02

@peanutbutterfries

Hey op. We just had this discussion with DH today on how DS used to feed for 2 hours at night. It does get better. You're very close to the 4 month mark where my own DS suddenly dropped down to 20 mins then 15 and then 10 minutes and then 5 minutes. His 18 months old now and only feeds for a few minutes just to sweeten his mouth when he wants to. Don't worry it will pass x

20 mins would be a dream, never mind 5 mins

. It's good to hear from a number of other mums who went through the same thing, thanks!

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Original poster

pinknsparkly · 18/10/2020 15:04

@NameChange30

Get someone who is trained in tongue tie to check for it. Most midwives and HVs are not trained in tongue tie. You will need the infant feeding team (HV can refer you). Alternatively if there is a breastfeeding support group near you they can often be very good.

My son fed for hours and hours on end and he had tongue tie. I'd been told he didn't have it, but it was diagnosed by an excellent breastfeeding counsellor at a charity-run drop-in for breastfeeding support.

People always post on these threads to say "it's totally normal", and they did on my thread when I posted at the time, but luckily some other people suggested that it could be tongue tie and they were right.

I don't think it is normal for babies to feed non stop for hours and hours.

My son didn't have weight gain issues either, he was gaining weight (and producing wet and dirty nappies) but he had to feed constantly in order to get enough milk to do so.

Thanks so much, I'll have a look at that link and speak to the health visitor on Monday. Much like you were, I'm fairly sure she doesn't have tongue tie (she likes to poke her tongue out!) but it's worth making sure that's not the issue!

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Original poster

pinknsparkly · 26/11/2020 17:23

@NameChange30

Get someone who is trained in tongue tie to check for it. Most midwives and HVs are not trained in tongue tie. You will need the infant feeding team (HV can refer you). Alternatively if there is a breastfeeding support group near you they can often be very good.

My son fed for hours and hours on end and he had tongue tie. I'd been told he didn't have it, but it was diagnosed by an excellent breastfeeding counsellor at a charity-run drop-in for breastfeeding support.

People always post on these threads to say "it's totally normal", and they did on my thread when I posted at the time, but luckily some other people suggested that it could be tongue tie and they were right.

I don't think it is normal for babies to feed non stop for hours and hours.

My son didn't have weight gain issues either, he was gaining weight (and producing wet and dirty nappies) but he had to feed constantly in order to get enough milk to do so.

Thank you so so so much for your suggestion of tongue tie NameChange30. It's taken over a month of persuading people to take me seriously and jumping through various hoops but we had an assessment with the infant feeding team today and she does indeed have tongue tie. Or rather, did have tongue tie - they cut it there and then. Apparently it was a significant one, but not the most severe. So now I'm keeping everything crossed that we start seeing improvements! Her bedtime feed the day before yesterday was almost 5 hours

She's 4.5 months old now and I seriously need more than 2 hours sleep at a stretch

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