Breastfeeding newborn while entertaining 3 year old

[mrsmcbitsy]

Just wondering if any mumsneters have any words of advice or encouragement on how to cope!

I’m currently trying to breastfeed my 10 day old DD and actually parent my 3.5 year old DS, while being stuck in tier 2 lockdown. I’m really starting to lose my resolve with feeding as my DS is increasingly plonked in front of the tv and left to entertain himself, I feel so guilty. I barely get five minutes to play with him as DD constantly wants to feed or be comforted on the boob. Because of the lockdown restrictions I can’t even have the grandparents over to help out, never mind do play dates with friends to keep DS entertained. As much as I don’t want to give up breastfeeding yet, it’s heartbreaking to see DS so fed up and there’s no end in sight!

Is anyone else in a similar situation? Have you found a magical way of doing the right thing by both children (and maybe even found a way of cleaning the house too!)?

It will get easier I promise. My baby is 13 weeks and now feeds really quickly every 3-4 hours. I was in your position a few months ago. I breastfed the baby in some weird and wonderful positions and places so that I could play with my two toddlers if they needed me, it was tough and not ideal but stick with it... the marathon sessions will be a distant memory in a couple of months I promise!

Hey.
If you learn to feed in a sling, then it's the answer you need!

Things iamaged to do whilst breastfeeding in a sling:

• sprint after my toddler when she ran off.
• go on a fairground ride
• dinner prep

-colouring/crafts with toddler -disembark a plane

• get on a bus with toddler and buy my ticket.

It's well worth trying to master if you can. And if not, well that's pretty much what TV is for sadly.

Im not going to say it gets easier (I haven't found that, but you get better used to juggling the two of them.

Part of being a parent of 2 seems to be that often you feel like you can often only be the mum you want to a maximum of 1 child at a time. The mum guilt is huge.

It will get easier. A few weeks of screen time will not hurt. Make it alphablocks (or similar) a couple of times a day and sit feeding while he's watching- you might get to join in a bit - and it's educational.

You new baby is still establishing feeding. Once you get there you will be able to give ds more attention.

Hang in there. Keep going. You got this mamma.

(Clean house is not a worry for now).

Maybe you could form childcare bubble with GPS? Then they could come and help.

It will get easier and the toddler (and you!) will soon forget this time so honestly don’t beat yourself up about screen time - just get through each day as best you can - not really your fault you’re in a lockdown!

Hey! I have a 2 week old and and a 2 year old and I feel exactly the same. It's really hard. We have a thread over in parenting if you want to join us

It's really hard. I have an almost 8m old and 2 year old. TV helps but yes mum guilt is real! Also- can you or someone (maybe GPS if they want to help but can't be hands on due to restrictions) make a special box of toys/ games that your older one can get out when you're feeding the baby. Things that went down well in ours were sticker books/ magna doodle type things/ fuzzy felt book thingy and magnetic shapes. Cheap and easy to put together. Then that box only comes out when you're feeding the baby. Don't guilt yourself- things will change again in a few weeks and this will be a distant memory. Hang in there!

Same boat here too! Peppa Pig is my new best friend. She keeps 3yo entertained so I can feed and settle my newborn. At first, 3yo would deliberately make loud noises as a way of competing for my attention which stopped the baby sleeping and made me even more tired and stressed. DS gets it now though, that the quicker I can settle the baby, the quicker he gets me to himself.

3 is a good age to get them involved in stuff, including housework. My son loves spraying the worktops and wiping them down while I wash up or he sprays and wipes the sink while I scrub the loo (yes, they generally need going over again later, but it keeps him entertained and it stops MORE mess being created which is what would happen if I asked him to entertain himself while I cleaned the kitchen alone!) You can get rubber gloves for toddlers online. My DS loves his and basically any bottle with a spray mechanism. You could fill the bottle with soapy water if you don't want him using kitchen/bathroom cleaner.

Your toddler won't care whether you are doing some ornate pinterest worthy art project or cleaning a sink, he just wants 1-2-1 time with you.

Yes to the bag of toys that only comes out when you're breastfeeding. I could have had any old tat in there but the scarcity made it prized treasure. I remember including things like aqua doodle, board books, building blocks and wee cuddly toys

Thanks for the replies everyone! GPS are in our childcare bubble, so have been helping a lot with DS which is a huge help. Baby is napping for short spells on her own bed now which gives me brief windows of one on one time with DS, and I’ve tried feeding in my sling/wrap, however the logistics of a huge baby (10lb 6oz at birth, not sure now as I’ve not been able to get her weighed, but she’s huge!) and my big boobs means this is a bit tricky, but helpful in a pinch! So, we’re muddling though, hopefully the nightmare of COVID will be over soon!

I used to feed with DD cross me knees - I would sit on the floor cross - legged, have DD lying across my lap/ knees and bed until my boob was in her mouth. I then had 2 hands free to play with DS - usually duplo or a jigsaw. He didn't seem to care that I was just reattaching the same 3 blocks together all the time as long as I was seemingly engaged with him.