At wits end. Newborn constantly wants breast

[SassyPants87]

So baby is 3 days old and I've not slept in three days! Tonight she wants the breast constantly for comfort. I'm at my wits end! I really want to go to sleep but she will scream if I take her off my breast and put her down

Any advice would be so appreciated!

Thank you everyone such reassuring messages

@Hufflepuff21 I really needed to read that message thank you

@FourPlasticRings no my milks not come in yet I'm on day 3. Boobs aren't hard at all and my nipples just kill now

@silverstrawberry thank you for the tip! I've gone and ordered some tea from Amazon

Thanks Mumsnet community, honestly it makes all the difference

It takes three days for your milk to establish and come through. All the fussing and crying and cluster feeding makes that happen.

I was told by my midwife that on night three to get a takeaway, chocolate and a box set as it's the worst night as baby is mega hungry, your mega tired and feel like giving up.

She was right and I stick with it, 20 months down the line I'm still breastfeeding.

Look up Lucy Webber lactation consultant on Facebook she's awesome for advice and google the "fourth trimester" it will give you loads of tips.

Finally download the wonder weeks app for development leaps/regressions

Be kind to yourself. No one tells you these bits after you give birth, it's a shock and you feel you have to know/work it all out for yourself.

Have you tried lansinoh for the sore nipples? Hopefully your milk will come in very soon.

You are NOT a failure OP!!
You’re doing a fab job honestly. Give yourself a lot of credit.

DS is now 7 months and was EBF until 6. In the first week of his life we have him maybe 4-5 tiny formula feeds because I just couldn’t do it anymore. My body had suffered and I needed to recover and get some sleep. A couple of bits of formula do not make a scrap of difference please don’t beat yourself up.

I was scared he wasn’t getting enough
I was freaking out my milk hadn’t come in.
Breast feeding is a skill that both your body and your baby learn. Don’t worry if you’ve not got it down in the first couple of days.

You’ve done exactly the right thing. Top up with a little formula, get a couple of hours sleep. Try again.

DS ‘got it’ with breast feeding at about 10 days and has been extremely proficient (and chunky) ever since!

Make sure you look after yourself and your needs as well OP. Sleep
Is so important. Don’t let guilt come into the equation.

@SassyPants87

So I caved a little it was just getting too much!! I put her on the breast when she asked for it but when I put her down she soon started crying again putting her hands in her mouth, so I've given her a bit of formula top up and low and behold she's actually gone down and gone to sleep in the next to me crib!

I'm really worried she's not getting what she needs from me. She's only had 1 wet nappy since being born too

I've got a midwife coming round tomorrow so I will mention it then but honestly it was like she was so much more content once I gave her some formula, I feel like a failure!

This is exactly what I was coming to say that I had done when I couldn’t bear it any more! I topped up with a tiny bit of formula from a syringe and then ran about a bit. I am not built to sit down for five hours at a time! She still fed til nearly three.

Lots of people do small amounts of formula at this point. It's nothing to feel guilt over and the assumption HCPs seem to make that you either exclusively breastfeed or bottle feed is unhelpful.

OP you are not a failure!! My nipples were absolute messes for the first 10 days with both babies so I used to give a bottle of formula or 2 a day and pump when they had the bottle so that my supply wasn't effected. I was also saved by nipple shields, I'd definitely order some so they are to hand if needed, made breastfeeding far less painful in that first 2 weeks. I always tell people if you can just get to day 10 then everything becomes SO much easier!!
I'd definitely raise the one wet nappy as although the constant feeding can be normal, the lack of wet nappies isn't. Good luck OP

Completely normal and absolutely knackering!

Just a brief word about day 5 blues - I found with all mine I had a day of solid crying, at around day 5. Maybe it was my hormones rebalancing or something but my midwife had warned me about Day5 (and 4,6,7) crying and that most women get it. I sobbed for hours whilst simultaneously thinking “ok this is normal.”

Congratulations on your baby, I miss those dark mornings with black peeping eyes!

She's only had 1 wet nappy since being born too

I've got a midwife coming round tomorrow so I will mention it then but honestly it was like she was so much more content once I gave her some formula, I feel like a failure!

I don’t want to scare you but I wouldn’t wait until tomorrow to raise the only one wet nappy since birth; that’s really not a good sign. I would be calling my GP and taking baby in. In the mean time I would be offering boob and then topping up with formula asfter every breastfeed.

One wet nappy in 3 days and a constantly crying baby is not normal. Please call your GP this morning, baby could be dehydrated, especially if your milk hasn’t come in.

She's only had one wet nappy since being born? Are you sure about that? What about dirty nappies?

Please do tell your midwife and ask about a tongue tie assessment from a feeding specialist.

Whether it's tongue tie or something else you need real life support with it.

no my milks not come in yet I'm on day 3. Boobs aren't hard at all and my nipples just kill now

Oh, bless you. That must be brutal- my milk comes in on day 2 usually, and waiting for that is hard enough! The first few days of breastfeeding are awful- constant suckling, sore boobs, unsatisfied baby, sleep deprivation, engorgement (when your milk comes in and they're really hard and painful and horrid for a couple of days)... I'm on day 6 with my second DC and the nipple pain is pretty brutal. Don't be afraid to take painkillers.

This post makes me feel sad and disappointed that 29 years on from when I was a ftm antenatal classes appear to be no better at educating parents about what to expect from a newborn. All the agonising about modes of delivery and pain relief in labour most of which one has very little choice over and at the end Of the day is usually only a day or two of one's life and then we are sent home with a new little person and without the skills or knowledge to feel competent to care for them.i feel for you OP and remember the feelings of helplessness and exhaustion .

I had my baby six weeks ago and he was the same. Didn't sleep for 6 days. It will get better. Good luck! X

Hi all

So midwife came today and reassuringly told me everything I was doing was right. She did have another wet nappy today but might have been because of the formula I gave her last night, but I'm glad she had a wet nappy regardless.

I think my milk might be coming in a bit now as her sucks are deeper and she's burping after feeds. The midwife was really reassuring too and said nothing wrong with giving a bit of formulas after and also I can express and top up feeds like that too

Just wanted to say thank you to you all. Honestly you were all saviours in my time of despair last night! I'll probably have another night of despair tonight too but I'll feel somewhat better

Glad you're feeling more positive but please do push to have baby checked by a tongue tie specialist. Tongue ties are so often. missed by midwives and unfortunately many women end up with breast feeding not working out as a result. Formula top ups are sometimes needed in the short term, but they can impact supply because the less milk is removed from the breast the less it makes, so it is a viscous circle. If baby isn't getting enough milk you need support to improve the latch, check for tongue tie and up your supply. I would push for a referral to your local infant feeding team.

In the meantime your Local La Leche Leche League and the National Breastfeeding Helpline can both help you.

Please know that with the right support things will get better. I had a horrendous start to breastfeeding, but once his tongue tie was diagnosed and dealt with and I had lots of support with the latch things got easier. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but everyone that told me it would get easier was right, it definitely did. It seemed impossible at your stage but I'm now six months in and going strong.

What squee said. Please listen to us and get a proper tongue tie assessment.

I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better. If I'm honest this sounds a lot like trying to breast feed my son. We ended up settling into a rhythm of breast feeding all day (loads of drinks and lamisol!) then at about 9pm when I was honestly just feeling like I would collapse - I would give him a bottle of formula and then he would go into his crib and we would both sleep for about 3 hours, then at midnight he would stir and I would bring him into bed with me, he would feed and then go back to sleep etc on and off, all night. That little stretch of sleep helped me so much and gradually it got longer, when he was a bit older he would have that bottle and settle until 1am, and so on.
Then with my daughter, she just breast fed and we pretty much co slept. That's what worked for her. I think my only advice is it's your baby, your choice, and I knew I would be losing my sanity unless I allowed myself a bit of unbroken sleep every 24 hours.
Take care and congratulations

Hi all

I had a much better night last night! At that point I still hasn't slept so I gave her a tiny bit of formula and it seemed to settle her straight away. I also co slept with her for about 3 hours as I really needed that stretch of sleep. After that I put her to the breast and she actually settled in her next to me crib after allowing me to get more sleep too!

Also this morning her nappy was wet and soiled hurrah! So it feels like my milk is coming in now

I feel so much better this morning thank you all for your reassuring words! X

Yay! Pleased to hear you had a better night. Getting longer stretches of sleep can really make a difference.