absolutely no idea what to do...when do you stop demand feeding?????

[bumbly]

baby now 11 weeks old

mother says at some point you feed baby when you want

so far am feeding on demand and that is still a very erratic timetable

baby still vomits, still needs to sleep on me at night etc...so...so far the feeding thing for me has just been just feed on demand when LO cries

but I know my mom has a point in that soon babies need to have a routine..

but when? how? what? where?

argh!!

your LO has got reflux IIRC
if so, my DS who also had reflux was a little and often feeder
seems a little gentler on their tummies as well

I'm also going to suggest leaving him for a little bit longer and he will probably find his own routine. I ff ds1 and dd who both eased into their own routine by about 5mo. Up until then I had a loose rule that if it was more than 2 hours since their last bottle then they were probably hungry, if it was less than that I'd check everything else first but if they really wouldn't settle then I'd feed them.

How much does he have in each bottle and roughly how many bottles a day? Does he drain them, or usually leave a bit?

Hi there

You'll get loads of different opinions on this, so to confuse you even more this is what i did.

Ds used to feed and feed and then feed some more until he was sick everywhere and then he would cry so I would feed him etc. I felt quite uncomfortable/self-conscious - not quite sure what the word is - about going out and feeding because he used to be soooooo sick and I was feeding constantly so I did the following:

At 6 weeks, I introduced a dummy. This helped me to separate out feeds and from that gain an understanding of what he needed - i.e when he cried I just used to feed him, post dummy I started realising it was tiredness/wind whatever.

I then read GF, Baby Whisperer and got into the idea of every 3 hours. I messed around with GF times a bit and found it useful at the start just to get an idea of food etc.

Dummy helped him sleep so I built in GF nap times. At no time was I strict as she is though - is she says 12.15 - I went from anything between 11.45 and 1.00 and then just adapted it from there.

Helped me gain more confidence. I knew where I was a bit more so was more chilled. Also felt that it helped me understand him more.

He sleeps in his moses basket from 7/8ish at night. He doesn;t sleep through the night but wakes once or twice - I don;t care. He ends up in bed with me from about 5/6am until he wakes up properly at 7.30ish.

Just noticed you are bottle feeding. Easier to space out feeds this way. I'd look at GF times and follow those to start with.
Good Luck.

A question to those who have mentioned it - purely out of interest, why is demand feeding different if you are bottle feeding??

I'm not trying to be awkward, just genuinely curious.

I second leo with GF timings for bottle feeding, worked well for my dd.

Formula feed is more bulky and should result in it taking longer to leave the babies stomach, to be digested. Therefore, feeding should not need to be as frequent.

Oh also, because milk from a teat is easier to drink for the baby and requires less effort, baby should beable to take slightly more without falling asleep!

Bumbly, is he sick an awful lot with the reflux? My bf's ds had reflux and he used to throw up so much of his feed that he never lasted more than 2 hours between bottles until they got the sicking under control. I know there are lots of different drugs to treat reflux, maybe it would be worth asking your GP for something else.

I am opposite to the others in that I kind of liked a 'routine' once feeding was sorted. Basically IRRC it was listening to my babies cries and not necassarily feeding at the first cry. Therefore I would feed, wind/change whatever, nap/play etc. Then if DD cried before 2 - 3 hrs were up I would try to play, cuddle, change etc first to see if they were what she wanted, rather than feed at first sound IYKWIM.

This meant by 6 weeks or so DD had a routine of 3 hrly feeds. I wasn't 'witholding' liquid or food, I was mix feeding, mainly breast but with a bottle a day. And it meant I knew that once fed, I had about 2 hrs ish.

It isn't a bad thing to do, I already had 1 DD and so it meant I knew once fed DD2 would sleep and I could spend time 1 on 1 with DD1 who was jealous.

If you want a routine of sorts, and you are bottle feeding, my advise owuld be one they cry or whatever, distract, change, play etc to try to gently strech the feeds to 3 hly.

Jas - we also named the meals which actually makes you feel like you're in some kind of routine. We found the name St Martins Feast from somewhere, which became the meal between Midnight Feast and Very Early Morning Snack (which was before Breakfast). It always brought a smile to my face, even if it was 2am!

Glad I'm not alone.

bumbly. I do think most of us were assuming you were bf, and you may get more help with a fresh thread. I know my ff friends found it easier to establish a routine earlier than the bfers.