Please help 11 day old will not stop crying unless feeding

[loraine230]

My 11 day old son literally from birth has been very unsettled, we were in hospital 5 days after his birth and he had a canula and antibiotics as my waters had been broken for 48+ hours before his birth. I don't know if it's relevant but will put it here just for info the birth was episiotomy and forceps in theatre, he cried for 15 minutes when he was born until being put on my boob and quite honestly that's how he has been ever since, he will scream and cry constantly and the only thing to calm him down for longer than 5 minutes is to feed him, If fed with a bottle he's sick from eating too fast, he's terrible at bringing up wind aswell. I've tried infacol but tbh we've known he had a tongue tie which was snipped this morning and I just hoped and prayed that it was down to that and he wasn't able to get enough milk to satisfy him because of tt but he doesn't seem any better after it so I'm all out of ideas and quite frankly struggling. I can't stand the crying and not being able to help him unless he's on my boob, does anybody else have any ideas what it is? He will feed then fall asleep, I can't put him down or he awakens and cries and then I have to repeat the whole process. Its not just a certain point in the day either it's all day and all night. My mum can sometimes settle him and distract him but it's very very rare and he also screams if he goes to new people? Please someone help

Sounds like he was hungry due to the tongue tie. It’s completely normal to not be able to put a sleeping baby down. Google the 4th trimester and cluster feeding.

It sounds pretty normal tbh, fourth trimester early days are intense, he's trying to build your milk supply so wants to feed a lot and all he knows is you, your smell, your heartbeat. Crying until he was fed at birth is normal too, he was just shocked but when he recognised you he calmed, mine did the same.

Dummy???

I had a similar baby - he ate for 18 hours a day (I tracked it through an app). We had his tongue tie sniped at 5 weeks and I was hoping for a quick fix - it took about a week for him to learn to latch properly and to feed more efficiently. It got so so much better after that though, so please don’t despair. It’s exhausting but you’re doing brilliantly.

Sorry OP but it sounds pretty normal. Will he take a dummy? It saved my sanity in the early weeks. Both mine rejected it at first but I persevered! Will he sleep when in a pram and out for a walk?

Sorry - posted without explanation.
Babies take to the dummy differently but it is a newborn thing that they want to suck. Feeding obviously satisfies this but they can't stay on the boob constantly. Don't expect hrs of settled content baby; if he takes it it may buy you 10/15 mins!
Second what others have said about the 4th trimester. The outside world is very different for babies and it's a huge transition. He doesn't want to be separated from you.

One of my twins was similar. He might also be catching up on calories after the tongue tie.

I’d recommend a cloth sling like the caboo. They take a bit of getting used to putting on, but they work WONDERS for tiny, unsettled babies. I used to feed and change mine, then put her in. She’d cry a bit, I’d walk around, and she would sleep. Then I’d tuck her head partly into the cloth, and she would be held beautifully while she slept. You can’t drink hot drinks with one on, and the toilet is a bit awkward, but otherwise it’s brilliant.

La leche league may have more advice, if you call the helpline.0345 120 2918.

Sorry OP but it sounds pretty normal.

Sorry I disagree, it’s not ‘normal’ for a baby to cry the whole time unless being fed. Yes some babies do, but it’s not normal for them all to. I know about 2 babies out of 50 that cried all the time.

Could he have a diary allergy? My friends baby was so unsettled until she gave up diary- took about a week. Are you winding him enough? Is he too cold/hot? Hopefully the tongue tie snip will help!! Do you have a sling- is he happier in there? Has he been weighed?

I'm amazed that PPs are saying that a constantly crying newborn is normal. Is it?!

OP, in my experience with my own and with friend's babies, the constant crying isn't normal. Have you spoken to your health visitor or GP? It could be anything really - hunger, reflux? I'd get some professional advice. Infacol is good for nothing apart from orange flavoured burps, but maybe try different positions for burping him? Hopefully getting his tongue tie snipped will help a bit.

As for not being able to put him down, unfortunately that is pretty normal for the first few weeks. Can you use a sling? Mine saved my sanity.

Good luck! Whatever is behind how unsettled he is, one certainty is that it wont last forever. In the meantime, ask for an accept all the help and support you can.

Gosh could be a number of things- catching up on milk (has he put any weight on or has weight loss stabilised?) could be silent reflux, could just be you have an unsettled baby. Try swaddling, try dummy, check your latch, listen for swollowing sounds, make sure he’s getting the hind milk, speak to breastfeeding helplines. I had a really tough time with my first with no sleep hardly for 6 weeks. You have to try different things and get through each day- I promise it gets a little better at 7 weeks then significantly better at 13 weeks! Hang in there

I'm a ft single mum so I'm completely not sure if it's normal or not, I just see so many happy babies that will lay content and my baby doesn't. I absolutely was under no illusions that having a new born would be easy and I adore him, it's more that the crying breaks my heart and if there is a problem I want to sort it, if he's in pain I want to help him. I could be over tired as he's a very bad sleeper and doesn't really nap unless it's on me. Yeah maybe it will take a while for his tt snip to work. Do you think it's more likely to be a comfort thing rather than there being anything wrong? He just seems so unsettled unless he's bfeeding. He lost 5% of his birth weight and my hv is coming Tuesday so I'm hoping he's gaining weight okay. With winding he isn't good at bringing wind up?sometimes it takes us an hour of him fussing and fighting to even get a burp, he hates to be on his back aswell!! He likes being on his tummy but again still only being held. In regards to going in a pram no he hates his pram aswell, he's okay in the car aslong as it's moving! Tried out the kanga sling while in hospital and he seemed to like that so we bought one.

Also with a dummy he will take one sometimes but definitely has to be in the mood, in the car earlier it worked great but otherwise he usually just gets annoyed there's no milk coming from it

Have you tried a dummy?

I must say it doesn't feel very normal, I am wondering about silent reflux and we are writing down how often he is going on the boob and making notes so my hv can actually see the pattern and tell me if it's normal or if there could be something going on. His latch is fine it was checked in the hospital and by my midwife, you can see and hear him swallowing, his latch was good even with a tongue tie he just couldn't get the milk he wanted I don't think so maybe he's still getting the hang of having a free tongue as it's not even been a day I'm probably expecting too much! I just want my baby to be happy and pain free, a bit of sleep would be great too but I can wait for that I suppose 😂

Messaging the cranial type might help, sounds like a tramatic birth

My DS had tongue tie. Having it snipped made a huge difference,but not one that we saw straight away. I would give it a week or two before expecting improvements with regards to that. Baby has to learn how to use his new tongue.

Something I really wished I had got with my DS was a baby swing. They're known to work wonders but I never heard/thought about it until my DS had gotten older and had settled down.

I really feel for you OP, my DS was the same. I couldn't take him anywhere and it was so exhausting and draining to have a constantly unsettled baby. People don't realise how different babies can be and sometimes underestimate just how awful (yes I said it) it is to have ahigh needs baby. The love is there but the mental strength is constantly tested.You will get through this 💐

This sounds like my two babies. It got better. Look into cranial osteopathy. I took my second; tension in his neck and jaw, was born quickly so all out of sorts and in pain, went to a few sessions and he improved so much. The osteopathic said that he jaw was tense and that's why he was feeding so much to release the pain and tension. I need to find one for my third.

@Hirewiredays

This sounds like my two babies. It got better. Look into cranial osteopathy. I took my second; tension in his neck and jaw, was born quickly so all out of sorts and in pain, went to a few sessions and he improved so much. The osteopathic said that he jaw was tense and that's why he was feeding so much to release the pain and tension. I need to find one for my third.

Ah really? I was a bit skeptical but made an appointment out of being willing to try anything to help him so I have one for September so hopefully that will shed a little light! Thank you

Have you checked his tongue for thrush? My DS had this and I think feeding must have been the only relief from his sore tongue. It was quickly sorted with some medicine.

@jingleyjo

Have you checked his tongue for thrush? My DS had this and I think feeding must have been the only relief from his sore tongue. It was quickly sorted with some medicine.

No I haven't actually thought of this will have a check, thank you

@loraine230 it worked so well. It took a few sessions. My mum was sceptical but he improved so much and by 3 months he was happy. I think he improved with age as well. My mum was so sceptical and she could see a change in him: he slept, ate well and become happy. She was converted. For me money well spent and I'm looking for a therapist for my third. She's 1 month old and started to struggle. Eat all day and can't be put down and will just cry like she's in pain. I give birth very quickly 3.30hr, 1.20hr and 22mins. I think they don't get time to straighten out in the birth canal. Also, my second was in a funny position inside hotel Utero. His face and next were all bent and his ear took two months to become normal. All squished.

Yes a lot of people swear by cranial osteopathy. There are quite a few things to try but basically it’s just getting through the first 3 months day by day.
Some babies just seem to settle really easily and that can be annoying but remember this: most mums struggle with their kids at some point! Maybe they were great as babies but a nightmare toddler, or struggle with friendships at school, or go through a biting stage, or don’t sleep well until they are 4! Honestly don’t worry about others, all babies are different and some are harder than others! I had identical twins and I can tell you I did exactly the same with both, but one was always harder to settle and sleep than the other! It’s not you, it’s just your baby at this time! You sound like you are looking into a lot of things to try. Being a new mum and a newborn before 3 months is just the hardest ever. It really is. At times I felt like it really couldn’t be real life and how could I carry on. But at 12 weeks it all started to change and the baby gives smiles and joy back! I promise - get to 12 / 13 weeks and just do your best to try different things until then

There's a big growth spurt around 10-14 days and a quite a few more to come after that. It could simply be that. Feed feed feed and your supply will increase. If things don't settle in a couple of days it would be worth checking out other possible causes of the prolonged crying.