Feeding Guilt

3 replies

Mumguilt19 · 19/08/2020 11:19

Feeling so nervous, this is my first post ever...please be gentle 😬

My LO is 9 months old and absolutely thriving but nothing stops the guilt I’m feeling with feeding.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was insistent I was going to breastfeed however due to a traumatic birth, blood loss etc, we could never fully establish bf. I had to resort to formula, tried every possible thing to get him to latch...had varying success but nothing spectacular. I look at my son, see this amazing healthy, happy baby but somehow feel like I’ve failed him.

I was then bombarded on fb and Instagram, posts about bf week which if I'm honest, made me feel pretty low. My husband has been absolutely amazing throughout this and really supported me, he saw the deep hole I was sinking into and decided to write a blog post about our journey because it’s something I couldn’t do without getting emotional. This post helped me try to face what is going on and I wanted to share it here in case there are others who feel they have failed etc. I know how much it can screw with our mental health...we can do as much reading, research etc but nothing fully prepares us for motherhood but we all do what we have to take care of our children.

www.gothicanatomist.co.uk/health/is-breast-best/

OP posts:

Puddlelane123 · 19/08/2020 11:37

Just read it OP - it is superbly written and a breath of fresh air to encounter a partner who truly ‘gets it’ and is so supportive and proud of his wife’s efforts.

I hope your guilt eases with time - you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for but I know as mothers that doesnt always stop us from finding a stick to beat ourselves with. You did everything you could and I hope in time you will come to realise that you have most definitely not failed him. You gave him the gift of life and providing him with the happy, stable and loving home life that you and your husband are doing will have far more of an impact on him long term than any source of milk.

mumoftwoinNI · 19/08/2020 15:24

There’s a book you may be interested in reading by Amy Brown called why breastfeeding grief and trauma matter. Or even talking to someone about it all because It is a type of grief.

The purpose of world breastfeeding week isn’t to shame other mothers for their feeding choices it’s to raise awareness and information and celebrate those who do, those who didn’t but wanted to, those who couldn’t, those who donate milk, and those who support those who do. it’s not a week about anti formula by any means. If anything it’s the opposite, we can’t support mothers who breastfeed if we don’t also support mothers who formula feed or tube feed. Raising a baby is very hard no matter what way you feed them. The week is about sharing information to help mothers feel supported in their choice and informed in their choice.I hope with time you can feel better, grief around breastfeeding is real and a lot more common than we realise x

MXT1987 · 19/08/2020 18:55

@mumoftwoinNI

There’s a book you may be interested in reading by Amy Brown called why breastfeeding grief and trauma matter. Or even talking to someone about it all because It is a type of grief.

I read this book only this year after having my daughter 4 years ago. I tortured myself to breastfeed, she had such a severe tongue tie and was a whopping 9lb baby. I perservered but could only manage co feeding with formula as well. I was so excited to breastfeed and was genuinely grief stricken when it couldn't happen. This book really helped. x

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread