Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Should I give up on breast feeding?

8 replies

erised24 · 20/07/2020 16:46

My baby is only a week old but was born with jaundice due to forceps assisted birth. At first I was BF and topping up with formula but slowly she's stopped accepting the breast and mostly cries when I try to BF but will drink a bottle of formula. This time trying to get her to BF is cutting into valuable feeding time as midwives have said she needs to be feeding every 2-3 hours so by the time I've given up on trying to feed her myself and made her bottle up and hour has gone by... this also means I have very very little time for sleep so don't have time to pump either. Should I just concentrate on formula?

OP posts:
flossiegrippiter · 20/07/2020 16:58

Could you invest in one of those pumps that fits into a bra? After a stay in NICU my DS never took to breastfeeding so I gave up and pumped. No denying it takes extra time and you have to commit to pumping otherwise I found my supply dried up and ended up having to top up. My personal view at a week old and a jaundiced baby I would try to keep up the breast milk even if it's pumped but not a the detriment to your mental health or bonding with the baby etc

DaisiesandButtercups · 21/07/2020 22:08

Sorry to hear about your tricky start op. Bottle feeding can provide a faster flow, if babies get used to the faster flow then they can get frustrated at the breast. If possible give any top ups by cup or spoon instead of a bottle. Or look up breastfeeding supplementers and see if that is something you would like to try. With a supplementer your baby will be stimulating your own supply whilst getting top ups.

Lots of skin to skin contact and really relaxed breastfeeding while sleepy, in the bath etc.

Biological nurturing is another good one to look up.

Rather than wait a particular number of hours between feeds, watching your baby for early hunger cues and feeding her before she gets stressed can help reduce frustration at the breast.

Such little babies need lots of practice, it is a new skill, the more time she spends at the breast the better and more efficient she will get at feeding.

Paced bottle feeding to slow down the flow can help if you find the idea of dropping bottles completely overwhelming. This will reduce the difference in flow between breast and bottle.

You might find speaking to one of the breastfeeding support organisations helps you get back on track. It is really early days for you and your little one. It depends how much you want to breastfeed and what you feel is right for you in your circumstances.

No doubt there are many advantages of breastfeeding over formula once you get past the first tricky weeks of getting the hang. I loved breastfeeding, the convenience of it, the closeness, knowing how healthy it is and how each mother makes milk perfectly suited to her baby, how the milk contains antibodies against any illness a mum comes into contact with, and flavours of foods she has eaten which then helps with the introduction of solids later. Our bodies are just amazing!

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/07/2020 22:10

It’s very normal for babies to fuss at the breast, it’s part of cluster feeding behaviour to up your supply. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong.
They should be offering you proper breastfeeding support, ask to speak to the infant feeding team and/or a lactation consultant who’s probably trained to help you.

Happiedays · 21/07/2020 22:23

I am by no means an expert but I had a horrific time trying to breastfeed and also topped up with 1 bottle of formula from about 7 days old (much to the horror of my friend who had a baby at the same time as me and was very much breast is best.) Only you know the answer to your question as only you know what is best for your baby. I will say that the first 3 months are the hardest and then it suddenly just got easier, although I still fed hourly during the day right up until 9 months, even/ although I did have the top up bottle. If I had the time again I would have ignored my friend and gone over to formula... But seriously, only you know what's best for your baby. My husband was a formula fed baby and he is the strongest, smartest man I know

rcb17 · 21/07/2020 22:23

It's up to you. Fed is best! Both are the right answer, you can't get this one wrong.

It can take weeks to establish breastfeeding. Some babies seem to prefer bottles. Not everyone can express milk efficiently. Worry can inhibit bonding. Well evidenced benefits of breast feeding are small and short term (small reduction in number of infections in first year).

But, it's tough to stop trying bf if that's what you want/feel you should do. It can be enjoyable if you and the baby get into it. Bottle feeding can be less convenient. There are some health benefits of bf to baby.

Good luck!

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 21/07/2020 22:30

not read all the replies, but this sounds like i could have written it! We had the same experience (except mine was c section not forceps).
It was hard, but we persevered and ended up making it to 17 months. Do you have any local support groups or friends who have BF who could offer support. It must be so hard with the last of baby groups etc. But it can be done. Are you on FB. There are support groups on there which are great, especially the Can I Breastfeed in it Spoort Group. Its run by peer supporters who can give great advice and help you through it.

Ultimately, I wouldn't bother if your heart isn't in it.... its hard, especially the first 6 or so weeks. But if you can get past that, I think its so much easier. Good luck

Happiedays · 21/07/2020 22:33

Also, if it helps, mine is now 22 months and I don't give it a seconds thought whether I made a mistake with feeding him in his first year. At the time it consumed my every waking thought

allthesharks · 21/07/2020 22:48

My son is two weeks old and also jaundiced after being born at 35 weeks and spending a little bit of time in SCBU where he had some phototherapy. Initially he came home breastfeeding and with top ups of expressed milk. But he was sometimes having more/longer breastfeeds and by the time we had done the bottle top up it could be an hour to an hour and a half. I was concerned that he wouldn't be getting enough sleep in between feeds. My midwife and HV have said we don't need to be so rigid with feeds and to allow him to breastfeed on demand, allowing no more than 4 hours in between feeds, as sleep is important too.

If you know exactly how much she's taking from a bottle, and assuming its a decent enough amount, then I would think she could reasonably go longer between some feeds. Could you also try alternating offering a bottle at one feed and breastfeeding at the next? You'd then express at the time of the bottle feed, but if you haven't spent that time trying to breastfeed then hopefully you'd have time.

It is difficult trying to establish breastfeeding. I never fully succeeded with DD1, but with DD2 I stuck with it and in the end she breastfed for 2 1/2 years. If you can get past this part then it becomes easier than bottle feeding once you've both got the hang of it. But if you're finding it too much and want to stop breastfeeding then that's OK too. We instinctively feel guilty for not breastfeeding, but i think a big part of that is down to hormones. Once I made the decision to stop trying with DD1 I felt so much better and once the hormones settled down I felt much more like me. Whatever you decide is the right answer for you and your baby.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread