Think dd addicted to bf, how do i ease off???

[splishsplosh]

My dd is 20 months old, and still bf. She is like an addict - can't start the day without her fix, has bf before and after nap, and before bed. She'd also love to snack all day on it if given half a chance, especially in the morning, as it seems I cannot find a single thing that she wants for breakfast more than yet more milk!

Is she likely to just start wanting it less and less, or do I need to take steps to cut down if I ever want to stop. I was thinking that 2 is old enough to stop altogether.

Now she can ask for it - "muck" as she calls it!!! it seems harder to deny it, though I do stick to the 4 times a day unless she's a bit unwell or something, and give it for comfort.

Do you want to cut down? If not, and she doesn't, then try and relax about it as she will eventually. If you really want to, then see if you can distract her with a couple of the day time feeds and do something else instead maybe?

Oh splishsplosh, I could have written this!!!

My dd is 22 months and we feed before nap & at bedtime, also in the morning or if we wake up at night.

Trying to wean off needing feeding to sleep and hoping this will let us cut back. Also calls out for milk or even "swap sides" for the other boob!!!

quirkychick, I'm glad I'm not alone! She doesn't say swap sides, but does fling herself determinedly down into position if she isn't ready to stop.

She doesn't even use it to fall asleep any more, though is a part of her bedtime routine which helps settle her. Just think she loves it - I don't want to be feeding her when she's 13!!!!

I symptathise but my LO only 15 months! Thought she might start easing off but if you are still going at 20 and 22 months there is no chance! She looooooooooooves it so much!

It's the glazed smile and mmm milk!! or cuddle milk. Definitely addicted. Going for the slow weaning off but she has a cold at the moment so no show.

Was hoping that once we don't need it to sleep that would be it, but it appears not. Have visions of those 8 year olds on extraordinary breastfeeding. Yikes!

Sorry I can't offer any advice except total sympathy splishsplosh.

I fed my dd until a couple of weeks before her 2nd birthday, and she self-weaned the last two feeds (which were morning pre-breakfast and the bedtime feed). But at about 18m I felt that she was starting to choose to bf rather than get involved in things, and feeding more often. She was (and is) a very outgoing child - a real joiner! - but the bfing seemed to be at the expense of her outgoingness.

So I arranged a fortnight with a lot of activities around the times when she usually fed, and wore an ordinary bra with several layers of tops to make myself less accessible. I tried to avoid refusing feeds, by diverting dd's attention to an activity before she even asked. So it woudl be up from nap and straight into the buggy with a biscuit in her hand - have everything ready before getting her up rather than waiting for her to wake, ignore the phone and out immediately. And so on.

It worked well, she didn't seem upset by it. After a couple of weeks it was clear she wasn't expecting a feed during the day anymore. If she asked then I would delay rather than outright refuse. And slip a distraction in immediately!

I only stopped the mid-morning and pre/post nap feeds. Kept the pre-breakfast, supper and bedtime feeds going as long as dd wanted and she self-weaned when she was ready. Even though I wasn't!

Thanks for your tips, prettycandles.
I know what you mean about the activities - there was a time when at baby/toddler groups she'd keep coming over wanting milk, but I stood firm and provided snacks instead, and she rarely wants milk when we're out and about any more.

I don't mind her loving her bf, but do want to end it at a reasonable age!

Hi splishsplosh, i wrote many a thread like yours 3 or 4 years ago when my dd was loving the breastfeeds too! She was my first and i felt under pressure to give up by 2 because friends/family/strangers found it necessary to look shocked or amused if they discovered i was still breastfeeding. (actually i'd had that since she was 1 and after a year of the pressure caved in.)

My dd had no routine, i couldn't count the number of times i fed her day and night, it was pretty continuous.

Of course you and i know there is nothing wrong with continuing the way you are if you WANT to. But if you are choosing to wean off, then it is a case of distraction techniques. My dd also 'learnt' not to ask for milk when we were with company - i think she understood my embarrassed hushes when in public.

I found it useful to wear high neck clothing because dd used to stick her hand down my top when she wanted milk and if she couldn't get down there i could distract her easier!

She will wean off in the end, just prepare to do it slowly if you don't want tears or guilt about it. I weaned off all day feeds before starting on the nights!

When i look back i wish i hadn't felt so desperate to give up, but i guess thats because i have forgotton all the negatives about it.

I now have 10mth old dd2 who is only having a quick morning breastfeed from me now, the rest are bottles! Its a big contrast but i went back to work when she was 6mths and didn't have the energy to express like i did for dd1 so my milk just dried up.

Enjoy your snuggly breastfeeds now rather than stress about giving up x