Baby only feeds properly when I’m engorged

[Peridotty]

Hi! I have a 5 week old baby. The only times she seems satisfied is when my breasts are engorged and when she hasn’t fed from them for 2-3 hours. She will drink and then fall asleep.
When my breasts are soft, she seems to hate it! She will latch on and then suck for 30 seconds but will pull off and then fusses. She will latch on and off and cries. Is there a reason for this? Does this happen with other babies?

That sounds normal to me. If she's getting a full feed then she will be fine to go 2-3 hours until the next feed.

It helps with colic and reflux too, having gaps between feeding.

I would try keeping her awake for a bit after the feed, then putting her down for a nap so when she wakes up you're both ready for the next feed.

Sounds normal to me to. She sounds frustrated with the slower flow when soft and going on and off to trigger a letdown and increase your supply. They love being on and off in between more productive feeds for comfort and supply building.

So what should I do? Because when she comes off she is often struggling and cries and it’s quite stressful! Should I allow myself to become fuller on one side by feeding her on one side per feeding and allowing the other side to fill up?

If you are offering her a second breast in one feed, start on that side at the beginning of the next feed.

She's bringing your supply up. Feeding on one side as you describe is block feeding and it's used to bring down supply. Switch feeding where you switch boobs regularly will get more supply. You can also use breast compressions to increase the flow and keep her happy.
Congratulations it sounds like you're doing a great job x

Does she fully empty one breast before switching to another? Or fall asleep before?

If I’m full of milk then she will fall asleep on one boob. If neither of them are full she will suck on the first one a few times, then come off, cry, go back on, suck, cry. I switch to the other one where the same thing happens. I see she has some milk cos it’s on her face but she doesn’t seem happy!!! Then when I’ve gone from one to the other and maybe back again, I give in after an hour or so and give her a small amount of formula (10-15ml) and she is happy and falls asleep.

I know this is exhausting but she's just building up your supply. It is what she is suppose to do. Spend tomorrow on the sofa with lots to drink, a supply of Hob Nobs (oats are suppose to help increase supply. I doubt this is true but take the opportunity to eat loads of junk), magazines, books and the TV controls. If she's awake feed her. BFing a baby is a full time job. This will settle again in a week or so. Till the next time she hits a growth spurt.

Thanks for the helpful replies. I compressions and also have this vibrating lactation massage thing which seems to help but doesn’t seem enough for her to fall asleep.

@CountFosco it IS exhausting ! I feel like I’m such a couch potato and I’m on mumsnet or FB way too much lol. I know I’m doing what’s best for baby but it takes so much time! Ill do what you suggested though

It could be a type of cluster feeding which they do to build your supply before a growth spurt (there is one around 6 weeks). Constantly switching sides stimulates more milk to be produced which is a good thing. Topping up with formula is not advised as it can mess with your supply - if its 1am and you really need sleep it's probably worth it but during the day if you can let her keep feeding from you it would be better :)

@Hollywhiskey omg thank you for telling me that!! I didn’t know that was called block feeding! I thought I had a lightbulb moment lol

I don’t know, but could it be because you are giving her some formula too? Is it because she prefers the faster flow of the bottle (and your breast when it’s full?) was just a thought.

My DD is 4 weeks. Today she’s been pulling on and off for some reason. It’s frustrating and actually quite sore sometimes.

It’s hard sometimes to figure out what they want !

Are you hydrating a lot between feeds?

It is so hard the first 8 weeks, combi feeding can be great if that's what you want to try. One of my dc was happily fed that way.

Speaking to the national breastfeeding hotline could be helpful? I do agree with oats though.

If you dont want to top up though, they do call it the top up trap. Have you a hakaa pump? You can collect anything dripping from the other breast, maybe use to supplement instead?

I have a breast pump. Is that what a Hakaa is? I do it when she has an especially long nap and I’m full. Then I can save it for later to use as a top up.

She actually does the pull off thing with a bottle too if she senses that the milk is slowing down at the end. The nipple i am using is called slow flow. I don’t intend to give her a faster one.

So what I am experiencing is quite normal? Because I was starting to feel like my boobs don’t have enough storage capacity. And was envying mums with huge boobs. Mine were a 32C before... my old bras don’t fit but they aren’t humongous.

@User8008135 I’m drinking decaf breakfast tea when I can.. but probably not drinking enough. Also bought some lactation teas (fennel and fenugreek) but not drinking that more than once a day. I eat oats for breakfast! Love hobnobs but now living in the us means they’re like £4 a packet!!

@FrugiFan it seems like she is having loads of growth spurts (she is gaining sooo much weight) 1.5-2oz a day on breastmilk!! She doesn’t seem to be getting a lot taller though!! About 1.5 inches this month. Just fatter haha!

@flissity I know right, it’s so hard to figure out what they want! Have u tried lanolin and hydrogel for your nipples?

I’ve got lansinoh. They don’t hurt generally- it’s just the tugging! Feels like she’s trying to stretch them or pull them off 😬😬

Well done, sounds perfectly normal and that you're doing a great job. It's boring, tiring and emotional at times but it will settle down. And tbh great that she takes a bottle as well as boob now, in a few weeks or so when your supply is more established you'll be able to give her a whole feed of formula or pumped milk and just sleeeeeeeeep without worrying at all about your supply. Keep it up 💪

Dont worry about "storage capacity" - best size is not an indication of milk supply. My midwife friend once told me breastfeeding is like a river, not a lake. I.e. if your breasts are empty the flow is slower but you will keep providing milk, it doesn't "run out" and just stop so the breasts are never actually empty.

The fact that she is gaining lots of weight is a really good thing and shows whatever you're doing it's working so well done!