Feel so guilty some advice please!

[Emma301]

Hi,

So I am currently pregnant with my second baby, I feel I wasn't supported with my first with getting breastfeeding off to a good start. I had every intention of breastfeeding and after the birth of my daughter I put her to the breast but she didn't latch on. The midwife was squeezing my breasts to get the colostrum out which I found very painful and it seemed to go downhill front there I lost confidence in myself and was terrified of my daughter starving so we gave formula. The midwife didn't seem to bother either way but I wish I would have been more supported and now I feel terribly guilty! Anybody else been through this experience?

Xx

Can I also add that I think I was very uninformed as to how hard breastfeeding could be. I expected to produce masses of milk and wasn't even sure what colostrum was! (I know this sounds daft) I hadn't looked into at all and just expected it to all come naturally

With my first a midwife said “have you seen your milk?” I said no, thinking “why would I have?!” At which she grabbed my boob and started squeezing, it was all weird and just made me feel really uncomfortable! I felt very under pressure to bf with my first, but found it really hard.

I carried on with little/no support and ended up combi feeding till about 7/8 months, which worked for us. With number 2, I knew the traps I had fallen into with no1 (e.g. giving formula because I thought I had no milk left, listening to ex-OH ) and told myself I would be on the settee for months with my boobs out and was a lot more accepting. I actually found it much easier second time around and apart from a bit of soreness early on and and undiagnosed tongue-tie causing slow weight gain, its been great. Ironically, I felt under pressure to FF from the breastfeeding support group I was sent to when her weight gain was slow!

I ignored them and she found the centile she was meant to be at and followed that. Lockdown saved us having to go and get weighed and we are getting on with it (she’s nearly 8 months now).

It was just a wholly different experience and having no1 to get sorted every day meant I hardly spent any time on the settee with my boobs out