BFing struggles in lockdown

[dustyphoenix]

Is anyone else struggling with BFing in lockdown?

DS is 5 weeks, my first baby but third child so alot going on.

Struggled with feeding from the outset - trouble latching pain-free in hospital, turned out to be a TT which was snipped at 2 weeks. Latch has improved but very, very slowly. DS is a big feeder and usually takes an hour or so at a time. Diagnosed with thrush in early weeks.

I've got big boobs and have really struggled with positioning. I've barely left the house in 5 weeks because there's no way I could feed anywhere apart from one chair in my house. However I position us my breast always seems to be in the wrong place, and the weight of it drags my nipple from his mouth. In the last 48hrs have developed a blocked duct/mastitis with an agonising burning nipple.

I so want to continue feeding, but I'm so sad about the lack of support available. I even paid a lactation consultant for some remote support over Watsapp, but really this has upset me more because Ive found her really patronising and abrupt (disclaimer: this could be largely due to my hormones). Really, I'm just desperate to see my mum but I can't, and would love someone to come and sit with me and help me work out feeding and just help me with it rather than trying to do it all alone. I'm finding it so sad because it shouldn't be this hard - all the advice online says "go to a bf group or find a bf counsellor" and obviously they're all closed or not running.

Would love to hear from anyone who can offer some encouragement, or if you're struggling too then come and join me and maybe we can help each other

I have big boobs and found rugby hold much more simple. Have you given that a try?

Did you bf your first 2 children?

Are you getting antibiotics for the mastitis? Do you know what to do about the blocked duct?

Keep an eye on his tongue as the tie can reconnect. I'm convinced this happened with both my babies but we were able to get to grips with BF enough that they didn't need re snipping.

YouTube videos will be helpful. Especially for the different hold techniques.
Make sure you concentrate on latching correctly each time. It's frustrating and exhausting but perseverance is key.

You sound like you're doing great though. The early stage of feeding is really really hard. It gets easier and lovelier.

No, haven't bf before so this is my first rodeo. Think it's a bit of a shock how all-consuming it is, especially when trying to look after sore boobs etc. Am currently trying to feed every 2 hours to manage blocked duct and overactive letdown which was overwhelming him a bit.

Yes have had some success with rugby hold, tho DS is fairly long so do struggle to get him tucked round me sometimes. The difficulty is usually getting his mouth and my nipple aligned without being in a terribly uncomfortable position or holding the breast (that's what's given me the blocked duct) and stopping the weight of it pulling the nipple out again.

Thanks for the heads up on the reconnecting TT, I had no idea. His latch is improving and he's definitely learning to use his tongue, bless him. I have to remember he's learning too.

For the duct I've been using massage and DS's vibrating hexbugs to try and break it up I can't feel a lump though, it's just very sore deep inside so not sure if it's cleared and I've just been a bit vigorous with the massage, or whether it's not yet cleared. I've got ABs as I wasn't sure if it was just a blocked duct or was mastitis as I don't feel particularly unwell. With both of us having had thrush already I'd rather not take them unless I definitely need to.

With my first DD I only bf until 6 weeks and my second we are still going at 10 months. Every breast feeding journey is different.

When you say blocked duct what do you actually mean? Is it a milk bleb (look at google images) a white sore spot on your nipple or a lumpy part of your boob? Does it hurt when latching or in between?

Watch loads of YouTube videos on the flipple technique. Remember your baby has to approach your nipple as if it’s a burger, wide mouth, bottom lip resting on the boob first and then top lip. I used rugby ball until 9 months. Don’t accept a poor latch no matter how tempting, it will be less effective, take longer to feed and cause damage.

Your doing such a job. Take one day at a time.

Have you tried feeding lying down. That worked well for me.

self, no not a milk bleb but a hot, sore, red patch on my breast that is tender to the touch. Am trying to to feed my way through it!

Have tried the flipple as the infant feeding team taught me it, but it hasn't worked to help him achieve a good latch so far. I found my areola pinched painfully at the sides. I think one of the issues is he doesn't tilt his head back when he opens his mouth, so he opens up but doesn't angle his head for maximum nipple intake and so doesn't regularly 'scoop' the breast tissue from underneath like a good latch should. It is slowly improving and he's definitely becoming more engaged and active in his feeding, it's just slow and painful!

Did you use rugby hold when out and about aswell? If not what positions did you find helpful?

Yes I did feed lying down when I came back from the hospital as I couldn't sit up at all for about 10 days. Again, I seem to have the same issue with trying to make my nipple line up with his mouth - when lying down my nipple lies almost flat (or just a short way lifted off) the mattress. DS mouth is higher than that, and I don't know how to make them meet! If I lift my breast to latch then when I take my hand away then the weight of the breast pulls on the nipple and either makes it uncomfortable or loosens his latch (or both).

I really appreciate your replies - I really hope I don't seem like I've got an answer for everything, I'd just love to work through some of these issues!

And yes, am working on unlatching every bad latch now! DS has just fallen asleep and I can't tell if it's because he's full or just exhausted trying to get his latch right, poor baby

With the fast letdown, are you hand expressing any before a feed? I found it helpful for latching, it also gets them to the creamier milk quicker so they're not feeding as long- you mention hour long feeds, is he definitely hungry the whole time or is there an element of comfort to it? If it's comfort then I'd try a dummy (if your not using one already), give your poor boobs a rest! Also try warm showers/ flannels for the blocked duct. Apologies if you already know all this! It's hard work at first but I'm sure you'll both be in the swing of it soon and then it'll be easy! And to echo pp's, 1 bad latch can cause days worth of pain so reposition straight away if it's not feeling right

Have you tried laid back/reclining positions at all? My baby sucks (no pun intended) at doing that 'instinctive finding the nipple' thing, but I find if I get him latched on and then lie back, it's much comfier for me (no need to hold boobs in place), and helps stop him being overwhelmed by the amount of milk coming at him.

No advice just solidarity! We are 6 weeks in and still struggling, I was in tears again today as one of my nipples is so painful and just doesn't seem to be healing. I'm sick of the soreness and constant leaking and on the verge of giving up tbh. But then I think I've persevered this far so maybe I should continue! I completely agree about the lack of in person support, I have had a few video calls with the local breastfeeding support volunteer which have been good but it's just not the same as having someone sit with you. My local support group has a good Facebook page but there are about 600 people in it including people I vaguely know from work and stuff so I don't feel comfortable posting on there about my ruined nipples! I'd also love to be able to meet other new mums in person, it feels so isolating stuck at home and figuring this all out alone. All my friends who had babies before me said how invaluable their NCT friends were and how useful it was to get out to groups and stuff, and I feel like I'm really missing out on that support. Zoom and what's app are really no replacement for having a good chat and a cry in person! Anyway that probably wasn't helpful but you're not alone! Xx

Our local BF support group is doing zoom groups, quite good just to hear other mums and know you are not alone. You could see if you can you have one or if Le Leche league can point you in the right direction.

Sunshine - at the five week stage someone told me it would get better somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks. And it did! My nipples suddenly toughened up and stopped being sore. If you can manage it I'd persevere a little longer.

Thanks all, really appreciate the replies. I've tried loads of different positions and haven't yet hit on any that really work for me. DS is fine, it's just my nipples that are agony. Part of the difficulty is that he doesn’t tilt his head back when approaching the breast, or open his mouth very wide. So it's just takes an awful lot of manoeuvring, and then I have unlatch and try again countless times. Its just so draining.

Thanks for the heads up about the Zoom group, and hope it improves for you sunshine!

Hi, i had the same experiences as you this time last year so went to lots of groups. I agree with rugby ball hold with cushions under the baby, trust me as he grows it'll get much much easier. Google something called flipple and a lactation consultant showed me a technique where you rub your nipple over baby's lips to make the bottom lip flange out more, no idea what that's called though.

Make sure you get some antibiotics and consider the tongue tie reattaching.

Lastly, you are doing amazingly, be kind to yourself!

Well done for persevering.

Don’t forget that you can switch to formula if it gets too much.

I’m still breastfeeding at 15m but had problems until 11 weeks.

I don’t have particularly big boobs (I think, I was probably an E cup in early days), but did have duct/nipple/latch/TT issues.

What we/I did:
Expressed boobs when too full. This is discouraged but baby rejected breast if too full.

Nipple shields - again problematic, but without them we would have stopped feeding. Stopped using them about 8/9 weeks had to relearn how to latch was bloody painful but got us through early days.

Paracetamol.

Spent a day in bed feeding - this worked wonders.

I cannot find it but there was an excellent UN/WHO/UNICEF latching vid on you tube. It has a video graphic that made sense to me.

Lanisoh

Counting to 10. I the health visitor when she told me this but it did help.

Oh, and from 2 weeks I would go to bed at 8 after expressing and leave DH and baby with a bottle. We used medela bottles as they supposedly reduce nipple confusion/preference.

Again, it’s not advised due to nipple confusion but it gave my boobs a rest (baby fed every 2 hrs for an hr).

Thanks everyone. I fed in bed with skin to skin last night, he fed for 2.5 hours (could hear the milk and the swallowing so not a latch issue) and he definitely seemed to be opening his mouth wider by the end. But then put him on today and it was a different matter! Will try again tomorrow.

I think also BFing is so different to what I expected. I expected to love it rather than dread it and expected to be able to go out and about rather than be stuck using one position at home. What I wouldn't give for the nipple agony to stop though!

I found establishing BF a struggle, and i had a baby during normal times. Honestly, you'd think babies would be better at it given their survival used to depend on it.

I also have big boobs, a baby that took an hour to feed and had thrush. Have you got the thrush sorted yet? Have you also tried loads of pillows or rolling up a muslin and popping it under your boob instead of holding your boob with your hand? Forgive me if you've tried all this.

At times with me it was very much 'just one more feed' 'just one more feed. It got easier at the 8 week mark for me. The baby's head and neck control will get better and things will get easier. We went on to feed for 17 months.

Hang on in there. As.long as your DS is growing you don't need to worry about him. You are doing an amazing job, especially in lockdown.

I would contact the NCT Breastfeeding Helpline or the La Leche League Helpline for advice and signposting to any online support available during this time. Best of luck. It can be very tough to begin with and can be uncomfortable but actual pain is a sign of a problem that needs correcting.

My advice re going out is to just do it. I know its easier said than done but I sat in Costa (the dream right now) and I was looking around and so worried, sat in the corner with the pram in the way covering me and fed my baby with my husband egging me on. I covered up with a blanket and muslin and was so worried but you know what..... it was fine. My baby was rubbish at latching but it'll boost your confidence trust me. It might help.

Just to echo others that things tend to get easier between 6 and 8 weeks so do hang in there if you can!

Lasinoh absolutely saved my nipples. Plus paracetamol on the most painful days.

Have you tried dangle feeding for the blocked duct? I got them a few times and it shifted it along with hot/cold flannels and massage.

Don't be too worried about giving formula some of the time. It doesn't mean you have to stop bfeeding altogether, several of my friends combination fed from birth (mostly DH doing an evening feed so they could get to bed early) and they fed for a year or more overall. No baby I know (a lot recently!) has refused the breast after being bottle/mixed fed.

Some things that helped for me (tiny baby with TT that didn't get snipped and my big boobs!):
Feeding lying down - either on my side or laid back with baby on my chest (watch videos of this on YouTube, they're really useful)
Rugby hold with cushions to support baby and me
Shaping my breast like a sandwich to get baby to latch better
Proper Skin to skin all day when I was home (don't underestimate the power of this)
Keep hydrated to help with energy levels and milk supply
Reading up about cluster feeding and learning my baby's pattern so I knew when I would be stuck on the sofa and when I would have a bit of a break.

Keep reaching out - you're doing a brilliant job!

Thanks all. Really appreciate the replies. Will try and respond to a few...

I think the thrush has cleared up. However, the breast where my duct was blocked is now pretty painful and the nipple is agony with a stinging /burning pain. I don't have any other signs of infection another than feeling a bit sick, so it could just be breast tissue damage from too-vigorous massage and nipple damage. Also, the flow of milk has slowed in this breast, any tips for getting it moving again? I can usually hear DS enjoying the milk but not this evening, and I could barely squeeze anything out.

Yes would love to try going out, though I'm holding out for a cafe or somewhere! I tried feeding in the park but DS fed for an hour and I was horribly hunched up and trying to manage my older DD at the same time . Obviously at the moment I can only go outside, and the thought of getting my poor nips out in the cold makes me want to cry

Ive realised that my nipples face a kind of 10-2 position, which makes latching on from the front difficult because DS head has to go past my nipple and then come back down again, angling his chin towards his chest. Otherwise my nipple just points towards his hard palate, which may be what has done some of the damage. I'm confused about reclining positions though, I really can't seem to figure out how he would latch on that way. Even if I latch him on upright and then move back, the transition either seems to squash his nose or adjust his latch or somthing else. Any pointers? We did try dangle feeding earlier but I couldn't get him to keep his head still and facing upwards

https://themilkmeg.com/video-of-the-laid-back-breastfeeding-position-encourage-your-baby-to-self-attach/

I found these videos helpful for the laid back position.

I tended to lay back with baby high on my tummy then let her find the nipple. Once she found it and latched (sometimes I would guide her) I would support her head to the side or slightly hold the top of my breast out of the way of her nose. Once she got bigger the size of my boobs was less of an issue!

Don't forget it is a learning curve for you and baby! It may take a bit of practise but you will get there together

Thanks for the links - for some reason I'd not thought to look at videos, only reading articles

For anyone still following, I think we may have turned a bit of a corner. I've taken the last few days to do loads of skin to skin and feeding in bed and it's been amazing. It seems to have triggered DS' reflexes so he's now opening wide and tilting his head back so we've got a much better latch. It's also boosted my milk supply and flow in my mastitis-affected breast which will make it easier to feed and help with healing. It was lovely to see him actually latch himself on, and has really helped my confidence. Thanks everyone!

Awwwww OP that's amazing! Keep going and when costa is open get yourself on a comfy armchair with a supportive family member or friend and go for it! You've done so well xx