How do you care for toddler with a newborn who cluster feeds around the clock?!

[user1472205009]

Hi all,

Looking for advice and tips before taking a step towards formula. My newborn is 15 days old and has been feeding non stop, I get maybe 2-4 hours broken sleep and spend day with her on/off nipple. There never seems to be a time where she is awake and happy in her bouncer or being held- constantly routing and crying for feeding.

I’m exhausted with sore nipples (improvement on bleeding nipples but not convinced latch is right so worry we could go back that way) and I feel my toddler is really missing out as a result. Husband goes back to work in a week and I am beyond anxious at the thought of caring for them both on my own when I can’t put youngest down! I know millions of mums do this but I just don’t see how and am considering formula in the hope baby will go a little longer freeing me up for toddler- I know there is no guarantee but reading stories of mums still feeding like this at 7/8/9 weeks /months and beyond sends me into a panic!

I’ve had a positive day today in terms of mood but have spent last week feeling hopeless and bursting into tears that I have worried about pnd- hoping today is a turning point.

Any advice please?

17 months between mine and I used the TV sorry to say. I started off with high standards which lasted about two days. My newborn was a nightmare screamer. My poor eldest must have had such a shit 9 months.

If your latch isn't right, feeding will take longer. Can you get some help from your health visitor / midwife to get feeding more comfortable and effective?

I had a toddler and newborn, we did alot of watching Disney movies, reading books and building train tracks sitting on the floor whilst feeding.

Congratulations having a newborn and a toddler isn't easy but it does become easier

Get a sling definitely, gives you back your hands. Lots of TV, and toys/snacks the toddler can have sitting beside you on the couch. I remember doing arts and crafts with my 2.5 year old using one hand while holding the feeding baby in the other arm, you get used to it quickly!

Thank you for the responses, I suppose I will have to get used to it quite quickly but it’s things like toddler needing loo I worry about. I have started looking into carriers also as imagine only way to get things done. Toddler already watches a lot of tv and with no family visits or nursery I just feel awful for her!

I am in touch with bf team but feel help is limited over the phone. I constantly wonder if could be x,y,z as to why she has fed like this since birth!? I expected cluster to begin around 3 weeks in the evenings 🤷🏻‍♀️ Thanks all x

Have you considered getting a Lactation consultant appointment over Zoom or similar? Rather than the phone, might be helpful. My dc1 was still in nappies when dc2 arrived and then was potty trained soon after, I just had to put baby down on bed/bouncer/buggy for the few minutes I needed both hands, if baby was crying I'd just do it as quick as I could! I'm sure I probably changed plenty of wet nappies for the older one with the little one latched on! You'll figure it out, it's all a bit manic at the start, we're still figuring stuff out with how to manage two and dc2 is 2 years old!