Too much milk and too little sleep .... need advise please!

[Millie1]

Here's a loud cry for HELP!!

DS2 is 10 months and still waking multiple times during the night for b/feeds. For example, he has his bedtime feed at about 7/7.15pm and is in bed by around 7.30pm. He usually wakes around midnight, sometimes 1am but more recently as early as 10.30pm and from then on he rarely goes more than 3-4 hours without a feed and recently as little as 2.5hrs before waking again. Which means I find myself up somewhere around 1.30, 3.30-4am and then around 6-ish.

Half the time he wakens it's for a comfort feed - small and snuggly and then back to bed but of late he's becoming reluctant to go back into his cot and roaring when I put him down. So I think it's time to nip it in the bud.

He has never gone right through. The best he managed a handful of times was from bedtime through til 4am which is fine by me. Second best would be bedtime til 2.30 and then til 6.

Tonight I'm going to give him one feed after bedtime - whether that's 10.30/11pm or when he wakes naturally is something I'd like advice on. After that I'll move to the spare room and DH will ride the storm til 5am which is when I think is reasonable for his next feed. He'll be offered water inbetween times.

So questions ... when should I give him that one late night feed? And does DH simply offer him water along with a quick cuddle and pop him back in his cot, light off and let him cry? How long to cry for? When is enough enough?

Additional worry is that he's been vomiting a bit of late (knobbly tonsils according to Dr and is on Dimotane to try and reduce swelling) but is isn't 'sick' as such. Only thing is that when he gets really worked up, he gags and throws up.

All suggestions more than welcome.

ps. sleep deprivation doesn't begin to describe how tired I am after all these months ... and I'm green with envy of friends with 16w olds going right through the night!!!!

thanks

pps ... he has had a big dinner so cannot be hungry ... I think!

Aw millie

Sorry honey, i don't have much advice my own Dd is only 5 months old. The only thing i could suggest would be a gorowth spurt? If you don't mind CC, now could be a good time to try as well. Kepp checking him every ten minutes and sooth him, but don't pick him up, then leave the gaps for longer than 10 minutes if you can and so on, until he settles himself without a feed.If you hear gagging (obviously) go in straight away.

Best of luck Hon {{{hugs}}}

xxxx

ahem that should be GROWTH spurt.

xxx

millie
i didnt b/f my dd as long as u, but she did wake up regularly til after 1 yrs old. but i cut out the drink of water when the wakening was very often, as i think its a habit, and you have to tell them its night and no drinking, but cuddles and dodie (if he takes one) , and the controlled crying . we did it over a week / 10 days and thanks to the mumsnet support it worked. it was awful and she cried her heart out, but for my sanity and sleep it was a must.

check out the threads on c/c, it does work.

my SIL 9mth old is the exacct same and shes feeding him all night and he doesnt want any milk in the day! shes wrecked from it, and has decided to quit the night feeds.

how are his daytime feeds? is he getting enough and is he hungry enough for his tea and last bottle?

millie1- I know where you're coming from- my dd 8 months is exactly the same- dh working away at the moment so haven't got your option as dd would definetly not make do with water off me.
Good luck tonight- let us know how it goes

Be strong! If you know he's had a good feed at bedtime and plenty of solids and milk during the day, he should be able to go through the night. Certainly from 10 or 11pm through to dawn.

My DS was the same, and I cld never quite stick at CC for long enough, with the result that he got worse and worse, and STILL doesn't sleep through and he's nearly 3! Sorry!

Honestly though, I know how hard it is to do CC when you're already exhausted. You go to bed with firm resolve, and by 4am you're so desperate for just 2 hrs unbroken sleep, you end up in bed with the baby. We've all been there. Am currently there myself with DD (5 months), but I digress...

Get yourself a copy of Richard Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem, as the advice is very sensible and gives a good framework I think. Be prepared for things to get worse before they get better. Give it at least a week. Ger some earplugs if necessary. And ignore those people who tell you their baby slept through from 6 weeks...

Thanks for the advice everyone. Think it's fair to say that last night was a disaster! He woke at 11pm for a feed - great. Back at 11.20 and I toddled off to the spareroom and DH to our room ... DS woke at 2.45 and cried constantly until 4.15am when we gave up and I fed him cos he'd been sick twice at that stage. Don't really know what to do tonight except try again. I know that in many ways we did the wrong thing by 'giving in' before he went back to sleep himself but he was just soooo over-wrought. When we did this with DS1 it was much easier cos he didn't get himself so worked up that he vomitted and that's what our real problem is here .... hard to keep going when he's in that state.

Oh well, another night tonight and meantime I'm off to read my sleep bible ... Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - have heard off Ferber, Lulupop ... we used Weissbluth with DS1 so are familiar with it.

Wish me luck tonight girls!

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Hi Yurtgirl ... at the moment (10.23pm) he's sitting on DH's knee watching Baby Einstein! Unheard off but desperate parents call for desperate measures! Actually have Gina's book and it's well thumbed but again she believes in cc/cio (as per Marc Weissbluth's book) and that's when he makes himself sick. He didn't get his naps today cos we were away and is just completely overtired and out of sorts so might think about sleep training for the next few days and have a proper go next weekend. Yawn!! Thanks for the tip about Gina ... shall have another read to see if I can glean any new info.

Millie1, don't lose heart, these things are short-lived in the great scheme of things. My DS didn't sleep through until at least 9m and until then I BF and got up every night whenever he cried, and stuck him on booby whether he was hungry or not, because it always got him back off to sleep. He now sleeps LIKE A LOG!!! He still has 3 hours in the day and approx 13 hours at night! The other night he was asleep at 7.30pm and I went in and woke him up at 9.45am the next day. When I was going through the same thing I felt exactly the same (especially as all my friends said their babies were sleeping through from day 1 or so it seemed at the time), you will get there I promise, just go with the flow xx

Millie1, I agree with cellulitequeen.

ds (13 months) started to sleep through at about 12 months. He seemed to get worse at about 10 months and then shortly afterwards he had 5 teeth pop through in about 5 weeks so I think he was uncomfortable with his teeth coming through his gums. The problem has sorted itself out since the night wakings just stopped.

I struggled with dd using various techiniques but have 'gone with the flow' with ds and now have a contented little lad.

Good luck. x

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Socci, I co-sleep too. My dd now sleeps happily in her own bed but ds is still in with us.

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millie, i am in a similar situation to you, although without the vomiting, and my dd is only 4 months old, but i worry that she is feeding too much. i need to bf her back to sleep each time she wakes.

one thing that has now stopped me worrying about it is this article that chuffed on the aprilbabies thread found:

here

i feel that if dd needs this to help her sleep and to comfort her then i am fine about giving it. i know it doesnt solve the problem of tiredness, and perhaps sleeping with you ds in bed with you for the odd night might help. but i believe they will just grow out of it eventually.

dont know if that helps, but it did me.