Switching to formula from breastfeeding

[TOJ123]

Hello,

My baby is nearly 10 weeks old and I’ve made the decision to stop breast feeding and move on to formula as the breast feeding has been constant and it is getting me down as she also uses me as a dummy. Happy mum = happy baby :)

Can anyone please advise on the best way to do this? And also, baby uses me as a dummy for going to sleep so not sure how to then stop this habit too if I’m going to be formula feeding? She won’t take a dummy BTW.

Any advice is really appreciated! xx

No judgement at all on your choice to stop breastfeeding, but she’s not ‘using you as a dummy’, she’s getting comfort from suckling which is completely normal and expected, and it’s not in any way a bad habit. Babies want to be at the breast for so much more than just food, it’s safety for them. She’s still in the 4th trimester and doesn’t know she’s not a part of you.

Oh no I feel awful :( is there any other way I can comfort her? Or is the suckling the best form?

Is how much she’s on you the main issue? Because it will get easier and less constant over time. It is pretty relentless for most women at the start - and well done for even doing 10 weeks it’s a big achievement. There’s some great breastfeeding groups on Facebook if you’d like support.

But if you’re really set on stopping you’ll just need to keep giving her a bottle and not offering the breast until she gets used to it. Reducing your supply slowly will be most comfortable for you if you can. Maybe look for a dummy that’s more nipple like. It won’t be the same as being on you, not saying that to upset you it’s just a fact, but she will adjust to not having that option

Hi @toj123, no judgement here but @BuffaloCaulifloweris right. Dummies are shaped to mimic a nipple for that specific reason. My daughter is breastfed and is 12 weeks - she won’t take a dummy unless in a car or when out for a walk. As if she knows she can’t have breast. To comfort her I usually feed to sleep but if that’s not working I rock her but it takes a while. 10 weeks is still early and baby is still in the fourth trimester. Cluster feeding is normal as well there’s a growth spurt around 11.5 weeks. My daughter feeds every 1.5 to 2 hours and 2-3 hours at night. Feeding frequently is totally normal as they only have little tummies and breast milk digests much quicker, formula takes longer to digest. Sometimes my daughter is on the breast for 30 minutes as she’s fallen asleep and I just take her off. They’re not using us as dummies it’s for comfort.
I can understand you need to be happy though - I’ve had no experience of giving formula but have nearly given up several times these past 12 weeks as baby had tongue tie and it’s been a difficult journey. If you’re going to switch to formula you will need to do it gradually I think so drop one feed then another the next day until all feeds are formula but you may need to express the missed feeds to avoid mastitis. Hopefully someone who’s made the switch will be along to correct me if I’m wrong.

My ds wouldn't take a dummy, he loved/loves feeding too much. I remember how relentless it was feeding in the newborn days. I felt sore and trapped! It does get easier though. Maybe your local la leche group could give you tips on stopping?

If you’re going to switch to formula you will need to do it gradually I think so drop one feed then another the next day until all feeds are formula but you may need to express the missed feeds to avoid mastitis

this but I personally wouldn't move to formula currently as you may need to find a suitable formula that your baby can settle and digest well. The more shopping trips to identify a good fit, puts you all at a greater risk of catching something furthermore your breastmilk will provide protection to antibodies from all sorts. Obviously this isn't a judgement against formula, but right now your baby feeling little and often is normal and your baby's way of being close to you.

Yep was definitely going to do it gradually so I’ll still be breast feeding by the time she’s at the end of fourth trimester but wanted to slowly switch to formula but just wasn’t exactly sure how gradual etc and of course I’m worried about the comfort so wanted to see if I could comfort her in other ways.

If she was feeding even every hour and a half I wouldn’t mind but for example she was on my boob from about 5pm yesterday until about 8.30 pretty much without a break and this has been going on for the past 4/5 weeks and it is really getting me down as I feel like there isn’t going to be an end. I would love for her to feed every hour/hour and a half. I know it’s comfort and it makes me so sad that I’ll take that away from her but I honestly can’t do 4 hours straight every night anymore. I’ve spoken to la leche and she said it’s unusual for her to be on the breast for that long?? Xx

toj123 do you have a sling? This may help and free you up !

Yep I use it all the time but when I’m trying to get her to go down to bed I can’t put her in the sling

@TOJ123 feeding like that in the evening is really normal, look up cluster feeding. Its odd that La Leche said that because it’s not unusual and they should know this. Feeding like that ups your supply and makes sure there’s enough milk for the next day, or for if she’s having a growth spurt soon. That’s not comfort that’s ensuring the right amount of milk is there when needed. I’m afraid babies don’t have clocks and work on need and instincts not schedules. They’re great at getting what they need from you which is what she’s doing.

@TOJ123 that is unusual for her to be feeding for that long. My dd used to feed for one to 2 hours - she’s be attached all that time but this was because she had tongue tie and wasn’t efficient at getting the milk. We had it cut at two weeks - the hospital told us she had one but when I went to a support group as I was struggling with the length of feeds and how often (24 times in 12 hours one day 😩) was told they couldn’t help as her tongue tie was so severe it would get better until sorted. We paid privately to have it done as couldn’t wait the 8 weeks.
Have you had baby checked for tongue tie as that doesn’t sound right? As she’s got more efficient since the tongue was snipped feeds only take 10-15 minutes. Sometimes 30.
Not sure how you would go about it atm but maybe ask HV or GP?

Although @BuffaloCauliflower might also be right in that each growth spurt we have she does stay on longer, will come off and then root for more. So cluster feeding in the evenings could last hours but with short breaks where she unlatches and then is hungry again. Is she on the breast for 4 hours without coming off?

@ReyGirl cluster feeding like that in the evening isn’t unusual, especially gearing up for a growth spurt.

But yes is she on and off or on all the time? Could you speak to a private lactation consultant maybe? Lots are doing video consultation

@BuffaloCauliflower is it normal to last 4/5 weeks though with no signs of stopping??

5pm yesterday until about 8.30 pretty much without a break what is the rest of the day / night like. Its extremely common for babies of this age to become unsettled at this time, we called it the witching hours . But hopefully it's different at other times of the day, have you kept a log of how often you feed, how long it takes ? That might help....

I would try her with a small bottle at bedtime. Do you have a partner? If so they could try to give the ff . I would really persevere with the dummy, it can take a while for them to get the hang of them. There's information on avoiding mastitis on the nhs website. Does she take a bottle at all now?

@Landlubber2019 it’s not as constant in the day as she’s asleep a bit more but unless she’s napping then she probably has half an hour max without wanting to be on my boob and then it’s back to being on the boob until she naps again

@InDubiousBattle she does take a bottle which is good but even if she had a full bottle she then wants to be back on my boob again

@ReyGal no she doesn’t have tongue tie as we did have that checked

@BuffaloCauliflower yes you’re right actually and have raised a good point. @TOJ123 every night my daughter cluster feeds on an evening come to think of it - we bath at 7pm then I go to our bedroom lights off, white noise but without fail she will be on and off the boob until 10pm when she finally sleeps. I think I’ve had 3 occasions where she’s not done this so yes it is normal to last 4-5 weeks. I just expect it now as it’s been this way since her 6 week growth spurt.
@Landlubber2019 makes a good suggestion, I track in an app all feeds and naps and it predicts sleep windows etc. That way I know how long she fed for and when but looking at it now I can see between 7-10 every night it’s just feed feed feed with few nappy changes inbetween

@TOJ123

Tomee tipee do some natural shaped dummies.

Babies do cluster feed but it is very draining I know. I mix feed and have since birth due to a tongue tie and traumatic birth. Now we breast feed with one formula bottle at bedtime, but have also expressed especially in the early weeks.This helped my mental wellbeing and also he is used to the bottle. It definitely got easier around 8/10 weeks!

I only ever give a dummy for a few minutes at a time eg to soothe but he has taken once since about 4 weeks old. My baby has never really comfort fed as he tends to guzzle quickly and then finish! But the dummy is helpful as sometimes he just wants to soothe. His latch isnt great so in order to continue feeding I would rather use a dummy to soothe than use me.

Mixed feeding works well for us and has allowed me to still BF at 13 weeks. We just replace one feed with a bottle.Formula wise it took two attempts but it wasn't a huge deal to find one! May be different if you have a colic or relfux baby though.

You do what works for you and baby xx

@bookish83 hi thanks for your reply. My baby definitely comfort feeds which I do understand she needs so I’m not going to take that away from her until she’s over her 12 weeks and will slowly introduce formula feeding to be full time but yeah if she just fed and that was it then it would be perfect but it’s relentless and I’m just getting quite down about it.

Crikey my first was on me practically 24/7 until he was 3 months old and then fed every 2 hours til he was 6mo. Totally normal behaviour in my experience and I'm surprised you've been told otherwise. They feed to build supply, for comfort, to help them sleep, to feel safe, to help their digestive systems, some research has even found breast milk contains natural painkillers if their gums/tummies hurt.

But, if breastfeeding isn't for you, then take it slow. Drop a feed at a time. Watch carefully for signs of mastitis. You'll have to use other means to help your baby sleep - rocking, patting etc. Your baby still may want lots of cuddles in the evening just to warn you - it's "the witching hour" for most babies and tends to be when they are most restless. Again, totally normal and doesn't mean anything is necessarily wrong. Good luck.

@TOJ123

It feels relentless I know. I almost gave up nearly every week in the beginning. Even now I treat it as week to week as I find it tricky (latch issues that can't be helped more than they already have)

Honestly I would try introducing one or two bottles of formula and see if that helps you and also baby. Then you can either mix feed if you decide you want to or fully switch in a gradual way.

So many babies are formula fed and for you to do 12 weeks is an amazing achievement, especially when it is tricky. X

Hi there - have you had your baby checked for tongue tie? Sounds exactly the way my first baby was. I recorded a 7 hour feeding session once - it was ridiculous. There weee other issues as well so even though we for the tongue tie sorted it didn’t really improve things. However, I mixed fed and that seemed to help things. I would breastfeed, then given formula and by that stage the baby would fall asleep or be content. Also used the sling.