At the end of my tether :-(

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I'm almost at breaking point with DD who is 4.5 months.

Until ten days ago, she'd only ever had breastmilk - I breastfed her but also expressed two bottles a day so DH could feed her and give me a break. She's never loved a bottle and sometimes would put up initial resistance, but she'd always take it in the end.

I've had to stop breastfeeding for health reasons, which I'm gutted about but I'm trying to make the best of it. Problem is, DD has been progressively worse when it comes to taking bottles, culminating in three days of screaming and hysterics when we try to feed her. Weirdly, when I've offered her a breast, she's screamed and refused that too.

Feeding has always been a struggle, between undiagnosed tongue tie and my battle to get supply up, and this new set of problems is beating me. I'm exhausted physically and mentally.

I don't know what's wrong, and why she's screaming as if in pain. She had mild reflux, which was helped by infant Gaviscon, but now we give her hungry baby formula as it's thicker and supposed to do the same thing. We've tried two other formulas but she won't take those either.

She doesn't sleep for more than a couple of hours during the night, in spite of having a dream feed etc. I just don't know what to do. Advice would be appreciated!

There is a big growth spurt/sleep regression/leap at 4 months which could be contributing to everything. It is a crap time, I think my PND really kicked in at this point. Could she be also starting to teethe? Rejecting bottle/breast is common, you could try anbesol or teething powders on her gums before feeds?

it will pass eventually but it is fucking crap when you're in the middle of it

It really is awful, @SagaBauer - phrases like "I can't do this anymore" flash through my mind and I wonder if I have PND, but really the only reason I'm depressed is because I have a baby who won't regularly eat or sleep

The hungry baby formula will it do the same thing it's just billed out with crap. I'd stop that. There are specific reflux formulas but if gaviscon is helping is just use normal

I know it sounds odd but could it be her ears?

Posted too early. Often when my kids were like this, was ear infection. The previous poster is right to suggest teething maybe too. But I'd also wonder about allergy/reaction to something in the new milk, given you're only 10days in. I'd probably phone the GP for advice.

Also, my first baby was a refluxy non sleeper. Slept in 20minute blocks for first year or so. I remember googling to see could I die of sleep deprivation it was that bad. I tell you this only so you know you will get through it. Sleep deprivation is torture but you will get through it.

Stop the hungry baby formula- often causes tummy pain because of the bulking agents.

Have you tried a cup feed? Sometimes works when they are refusing a bottle. Google how to do it.

Thank you @Mylittlepony374 and @MrsNoah2020 - this is the third formula we've tried. First we tried an anti-reflux formula (SMA I think) and it was like glue - kept blocking the teats even though we used faster-flow ones. Then we tried normal SMA but she took one mouthful of that and refused - I think she doesn't like the taste. The hungry baby one was the only other option in the supermarket at the time, and she accepted that initially so we thought that would be The One!

I have lactose-free SMA arriving today - should I try that? A couple of mum friends have sworn by Cow & Gate so maybe that's the way forward . . .

We spent sooooo much money on breastfeeding - lactation consultants, buying a pump, hiring a hospital grade one, the tongue tie snip because the NHS waitlist was 5 weeks, bottles and sterilisers for expressed milk. And now we're spending a fortune on wasted formula and this baby still will not eat well

Oh and I've not noticed her pulling at her ears or anything, @Mylittlepony374, and they don't seem red or irritated. Teething is a possibility - she's always been a dribbly baby though so I can't say that's any different.

Lactose free formula won't help if baby has a cow's milk protein allergy, as lactose is the sugar is milk. If it is an allergy you will need to see the GP for assessment/referral and prescription milk. I don't know too much more as not had to deal with this personally, just have a few friends with cmpa babies.

Sounds like you've had a tough time of it in general hope you and baby get some much needed rest soon

You've mentioned trying different formulas but have you tried changing teats/bottles?

I just looked into the whole CMPA thing more and realised it's not the same as lactose-intolerance. Doh 

Hi @bloodywhitecat - yes, we've tried Medela Calma bottles (supposed to be similar to breastfeeding), two types of Tommee Tippy and finally settled on Dr Browns Options+ with a level 2 teat as we had some success with them.

The problem is, she'll initially hungrily latch on to the bottle and happily suck, then a few seconds later start screaming.

We had a slightly better day today but I have no idea why . . . I reckon over the course of about six feeds she's taken about 16oz. Each time has been an absolute battle, though, with screaming and pacing . . .