Any breastfeeding tips second time around

[Raaaa]

Just wondered if anyone did anything to prepare for breastfeeding second time around and have any tips/experience of doing it successfully even if it didn't work out with the first baby?
I only lasted a few days first time around I think this was due to midwifes wanting to rush me home as it is was busy in hospital, apparently she had a tongue tie according to some professionals and not to others, following the advice : I wanted to give a dummy but didn't because it said it could affect bfing maybe I should have done what I thought more and generally being a first time mum and feeling like I was thrown into the fire!

Understand that NHS support is insufficient in many cases. It's total pot luck as to whether you get a midwife/health visitor who even understands breastfeeding, let alone has the time to actually properly support you.

If there's a suggestion of a tongue tie, it's usually the case that there is one. I have no idea why some HCPs are so insistent that if they can't see it it definitely isn't there, it usually helps to have it cut. Tongue ties are hereditary so if your first had one it's not unlikely your second will as well.

I would strongly recommend getting in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor (NCT, ABM) or La Leche League Leader, or Lactation Consultant (Google IBCLC search UK) and see if they are willing to offer you a debrief session where you try and figure out what the barriers were last time, and how you could overcome similar issues if they happen again.

And yes if you want to use a dummy, use a dummy. They can be a risk in certain cases and shouldn't be a blanket recommendation, but in most cases it will be absolutely fine. I wouldn't use one if you're having latch issues as it can exacerbate this, also a very sleepy baby who is potentially not getting enough calories because they don't have the energy to suck effectively should not be wasting sucking energy on a dummy. (The caveat to both of these is if the benefit - e.g. to your sanity - outweighs the risks - choose the dummy). And don't underestimate the importance of comfort feeding - despite what some books/people say, those "fluttery sucks" once you get past the initial strong drinking are still beneficial both for your supply and in terms of the baby getting milk while they are doing this. Sometimes you can be given the impression that the feed is of a limited amount and once they have drunk that amount there is nothing there but air! Not true - allow that comfort/fluttery sucking to continue whenever you have the opportunity to. Which is not the same as needing to do it every time. If you would rather put the baby down and have a shower or play with your older DC, that's fine too.

Consider/read up about safe co-sleeping and look into getting a cot that attaches to the side of your bed. IME absolutely essential for surviving newborn BF.

@BertieBotts thank you for that advice. Do you know anything about nipple shields?

A little bit. They shouldn't be used as a first resort, and never as a preventative as they impede a natural latch to some extent, and interfere somewhat with the feedback aspect of supply and demand - when baby is latched and sucking, that provides feedback to your breasts to make more milk, with the shields this is diminished, so you might not get enough stimulation. This is especially a problem if you are having supply issues in the first place. Sometimes, particularly if there is an issue with the shape of the baby's mouth or mum's nipple they can help the baby to latch where they struggle without, but this is not an optimal set up because of them being fiddly to use and the feedback issue. They can also be a place for bacteria to become trapped which may cause thrush, which means you should be sterilising them which is yet another pain and a job that you don't necessarily want when dealing with a newborn.

However, if they are helping more than they are hindering - for example tongue tied baby, inverted nipples, or mum is very sore and they are allowing you to feed directly - then they are better than not feeding at all but just keep in mind that they have these problems associated with them. Ideally if you feel the need to use shields, don't do that on its own - make sure you're seeking professional help as well.

Essentially they are a useful tool to have in the box but they should be used as a last resort as they can cause more problems than they solve. However some mums nurse with shields successfully and never see the need to wean off the shields, and this is also fine as long as it's working for you. Some BF supporters/HCPs have the view that you should ALWAYS aim to wean off the shields and I don't think this is necessarily helpful.

The most helpful thing for me 2nd time was an amazing mw who showed me exactly what to do. Getting the latch right is so important to success. And if its not right aka you feel pain stick your finger in to break the suction and keep trying until its right. If you carry on doing it wrong it's going to get so painful. Don't get flustered by the crying baby just persevere getting the latch right and then the baby can get a proper feed.
Look up latching methods and I hope you get a brilliant mw like I did. I also had many other mw that tried to help me but really didn't!

A midwife helping me with the latch was the biggest help to start with. I was holding DD a mile off because I was scared of suffocating her. The midwife told me it was safe to hold her really, really close, and once I had that sorted it was ok. I knew it was going to be a bit painful in the first few weeks but it would get better. Generally reading breastfeeding information online (mostly Mumsnet and kellymom) so I knew what to expect, and found reassurance when I needed it, helped me a lot. Then I joined a breastfeeding group on Facebook and found that having a community where breastfeeding was considered normal to be really helpful. (My partner and his family were quite anti bf, but I fed her until she was 3.5)

Thanks everyone - could this be moved to infant feeding I didn't realise there was a section

You have to report your own post and write it as a note there for it to be moved :)

Thanks @BertieBotts :)

Just this really any advice needed, how is sleeping whilst bfing I hear horror stories of being up all night every night

If you're willing to co-sleep not bad at all! I don't have experience of trying to do it any other way. It just makes sense to me!

Sleeping wise - my first BFd baby slept through from 2 months, number 2 is almost 8 months and still waking up once a night, around 2/3am from a 7pm bedtime, to feed. I know I could try and wean him off feeding at night but it sounds like a lot of effort haha.

Both times I found the first few weeks of breastfeeding hard, you just have to preserve (if you want to, no pressure obviously!) and it will click eventually, then it’s lovely!

My boobs aren't that "pert" so I used to roll a Muslin underneath to help. Not sure if it's a " done thing" but worked for me. Breast feed ds2 till 18 months

@Racheyg if it works then fair play. I don't have pert boobs either and have flat nipples. I know cosleeping won't work for me but nice to hear that the baby may sleep haha

@Raaaa I didn't co sleep but fed to sleep the put in cot. I couldn't figure out the comfy lie down and get ds2 to latch.

Ds1 was really tough and I only feed him till 3 months and I stressed myself out so much. 😓 be kind to yourself the first few weeks. X

You can always do BF as you would bottle feed so don't feed them all the way to sleep and then put down drowsy but awake, apparently it works!

The problem (for me) is that BF releases hormones that make both you and the baby sleepy. So for example in hospital where I couldn't co-sleep I really struggled to stay awake during night feeds, especially on day 5+ when the novelty/excitement of having a brand new baby and adrenaline post birth had worn off, I remember really having to try hard not to nod off while sitting on the bed feeding him, and then when you try to put them down and they jerk awake and won't be settled with a ssssh and a stroke it is TORTURE. But I expect that is true of all newborns.

Because of these sleepy hormones BTW even if you do not want to co-sleep as a choice it is worth looking at safety guidance because if you end up doing it accidentally, it's still better to have done so safely if that makes sense. Much more dangerous if you fall asleep on the sofa or in a chair with them. Whereas if you set up for co-sleeping, try to stay awake but find yourself waking up 30 minutes later having had a little nap, you can just move baby to bed and move yourself to a more comfortable position to actually sleep in.

I had a lot of problems first time around and I just couldn’t get my DS to latch on. I have flat nipples and I had a rough Labour with a lot of blood loss which affected my milk supply.

This time around we’re nearly 6 weeks into EBF. The one thing that’s saved it for me this around is nipple shields. I didn’t use them till day 5 or 6. In the hospital my DS would refuse to feed one side or both sometimes and I’d have to syringe or cup feed him expressed milk. Then he latched well for a couple of days then started refusing again. Nipple shields changed everything. They’re a bit fiddly sometimes but far less hassle than getting up and making a bottle! And I’ve had absolutely no problems with supply. My DS is gaining weight at the same rate as my first DS who was bottle fed at this point.

Also sleep wise.. last night he slept for a solid 5 hours between feeds and he feeds roughly every 1.5 to 2 hours through the day.

I wish someone had told me about nipple shields first time around!

@Syra that's worth knowing re the nipple shields, a bit tmi but are they in good condition? My nipples were absolutely destroyed first time around they were bleeding, cracked, almost scabbing. I guess with the shields the baby doesn't touch the skin?

I’ve had a couple of issues with cracking but it healed up pretty quickly (I used the silver nipple shields/covers inbetween feeds so I don’t know if that helped). They feel very tender and a bit bruised sometimes but generally in good condition!

@Syra good to hear :) what brand of shield did you use?

@Raaaa I used the MAM shields. The silicone is really thin so you should still get a lot of connection with the babies mouth.