Donated breastmilk - what do you think?

[Jasper]

My baby is 6m old and some of you may recall I had to be in hospital for a short while recently so had to express some milk for him ( not my strong point)
My sil has a baby the same age and as she has NO problem expressing (she's an ounce a minute woman )she donated several feeds of frozen breastmilk to supplement my efforts. Thanks to her kindness I have now had three full nights sleep since coming home.
I think this is such a lovely gift for one woman to give another, but one of our friends who also has a baby around the same age was obviously uncomfortable with this and I know she would neither donate or accept breastmilk.
What are everyone's views on this?

I think it's a lovely thing to do. breast milk banks in hospitals were shut down in the 80s over fears of HIV transmission. I believe there are a few back now...dunno what they do to 'treat' the milk (?mears?leese) when it's handed out on a more formal basis like that, but your SIL has been a real trouper and I'm glad you took it in the spirit it was offered.

I donated milk to a breastmilk bank which never closed down when others did. Even now it supplies other unitsif needed. The milk is heat treated an mothers are screened for HIV etc.
I think friends helping each other out is fabulous. If you take it to basics, why is it alright to give a baby milk from a cow but not another human?

mears-if the milk is heat treated, don't you lose the beneficial effects of the antibodies etc?

What about the 'wet nurses' which all the well to do women used to employ to look after their kids - not only did they nanny for them, they fed them too. No-one batted an eyelid then - why now? Think you're SIL sounds fab - and good on you Jasper for having the common sense and practicality to accept such a gift

She is fab - as well as providing ebm for ds on the day I came home she came round and cooked steak, new potatoes and spinach as she thought my iron levels needed a boost

What a great lady! I was keen to donate milk after my first baby. Unfortunately the idea hadn't got past the planning stage when my milk started dropping off. I got it back, fortunately, but by then the idea had kind of gone cold. Second time round I'd forgotten all about it. Why aren't milk banks promoted a bit more? It's such a great idea.

Jasper, I think your SIL sounds like one in a million! It's given me a great idea for a new baby present !!!
I wish I had been able to donate milk (I'm also Mrs Ounce a minute!) but we have no facilities locally to be able to do it. I think it is one of the most useful things you can do - I read an article about it once (don't remember where) where a SCBU nurse was saying she felt donated milk was as important as donated blood to some prem babies!

I know a person who has recently wet nursed someone else's baby... it is very rare but if the families are open minded why not.

Without wanting yo go in great details.... the mum was bf her baby and he kept loosing weight for a long time 5 weeks or so (there was an issue with her milk though I am not sure they know why)... so a friend offered and did it 6 days a week -3 or 4 times a day (there might have been ebm). The friend was still BF her 1 yo and had to increase her quantity of course. This went on for 6 months I think !

Tissy - yes you do lose antibodies etc. with heat treatment. Breastmilk banks provide milk for very poorly and premature babies and remember formula as no antibodies in it anyway. This milk is sometimes to supplement a mother's own milk until she can produce enough of her own. 'Raw' breastmilk can only be given to a mother's own baby in hospital. At our hospital all the mothers of premature babies are encouraged to express milk for their babies, even if they actually intend to bottle feed and more than 90% are happy to do so. It makes them feel they are actually doing something for their baby that no-one else can.
I remember when my ds no.3 was born 5 weeks early and ventilated, I could not express a drop for 5 days and was beginning to panic. My sister was feeding her dd and offered to let me breastfeed her to see if that would help my let down. Her dd was 10 months old and I would have tried it if my milk had not decided to appear a few days later when he was taken off the ventilator. Up until that time he could not be tube fed anyway. As he got better the milk flowed.
I remember years ago hearing a story of a particularly fretful breastfed baby in the wards that everyone was sick of hearing crying - especially the mum. The midwife on duty has a breastfed baby at home and supposedly put someone on guard at the nursery door and breastfed this baby who went on to sleep the rest of the night. Can you imagine the litigation should that happen now? It wasn't me by the way

What makes my sil's gift even more impressive is the day I went into hospital was the very same day she went back to work at the end of her maternity leave, ie her own requirement for ebm went up on that day too.

Pupuce that is a very interesting tale.
Last week I went for a haircut leaving baby with sil and one of my best friends and their two babies.
I got stuck in a traffic jam and in my absence ds became very fretful so my friend took some of her ebm out of the freezer to defrost (I returned before it was needed)
But prior to this the two women had a discussion about whether one of them should just go ahead and feed him directly - they were fairly sure I would have been ok with this emergency arrangement but it did not get beyond the planning stage because a third woman present ( also my sil but a different one....are you all following this??) expressed revulsion at the idea

If I'd had enough milk I'd have been more than happy to donate and I'd have had no problems with my babies receiving milk, either. As it is, I barely produced enough for my own child, and no one ever wants my blood either.

I knew someone who used to feed her neighbour's baby. I wonder if 'wetnursing' actually goes on more than we think?

I was thinking once that I might need to help a friend with a 1 month old.... and I thought if she doesn't return on timeor he is hungry earlier... I could BF him.... didn't happen as I didn't get to help the friend.... did wonder what she might have thought !

Recall doing a post natal check on a young girl in hospital - she was Italian I think. Anyway, it wasn't visiting hours, and I could see this girl wss tucked up in bed, so just crept behind the curtain to leave her some painkillers, and her mum was sitting in the corner breastfeeding the baby! Now I can't imagine for a moment she was still producing milk from offspring of her own (she looked mid-late fifties), so was either starting to create her own supply again, or had been wet nursing another baby and still had milk there. Needless to say, I didn't bat an eyelid - mum and baby were happy, so who am I to interfere?

It sounds like individual preferences, and I think donating breast milk to those babies and mothers (who can get a nights sleep) who need it is a lovely idea.

However, I still think there is a big difference between donating your milk and actually breastfeeding someone elses baby, perhaps its just me and when I think about what Im saying it sounds silly my preference being a cold silicone teat to another womans breast but I dont know (dont be too harsh on me), it seems strange then again I suppose its easier now than it used to be, and in different countries.

What do you think?

Jasper - your sil sounds wonderful. I'd like to donate bm if it was possible.

Not sure about someone feeding my baby directly. If there was a problem I guess it would be OK but just doing it without asking, hmmm ....

Someone sent me this lovely story of a Spanish women feeding the baby of a refugee mother. Apologies if you've all seen it - it didn't make the news here!

lovely- made me cry!

Me too!