How do I stop breastfeeding my DD? Not even sure I want to...

[VengefulSquirrel]

My dd is 6mo and I am wanting to cut down bf as life is about to grind back into gear with work etc. Not straight away, but in the next 8 weeks or so.

I am really dreading the engorgement side of things...HV told me that when lo was taking solids, the milk would just go down gradually. Has this been your experience? (sounds unlikely!)

Also, my dd doesn't seem to be taking less milk. She still feeds at 8am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm and then sometimes once or twice in the night.

Aargh! Where do I start. Feel like I can't solve this, it is too hard. She won;t take a bottle...what do I do? What will I give her to drink instead?! And how??

My feelings are very confused anyway because I will be so, so sad when it all has to stop, she is my last baby.

I had to go through a whole weekend of pain and misery for both me and my dd2. She would not take a botle from anybody and I was going back to work like you.
I had to just stop.
Lots of tears and heartbreak later. We both came out the other side on Monday morning as if nothing had happened. Little monkey has a will of iron. But I am stronger as she found out!
Hope it goes well but be aware it is very painfull both emotionally and breastally!
Good luck.

lol at 'breastally'!!! What a great new word.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. Glad I'm not the only one, just feel that I am the only one at the moment, friends, relatives keep on asking me when I am going to 'sort it out'.

A weekend sounds bearable. Just!

Yes I was going to break on the Monday as I couldnt bear the noise she was making.
Why do people say when are you going to sort it out like it is a problem for them to worry about!

Can't help much on the amounts of milk (I have found with both dds that they have regulated the amount of milk they took once established on solids), but dd2 surprised me today on the bottle issue.

She is 7 months and had to leave her with a childminder today for a few hours (first time out of my sight...).

She used to have a bottle of expressed milk when tiny, but hasn't had one for at least 5 months. I took the view that if she woudn't drink the expressed milk from the botte today then she wouldn't starve before I got back (roughly translated as "had no other choice") and got back to a very happy dd who had had a fit when given the bottle but then drunk the lot from a doidy cup (never tried her on one of those before..) You just never know (dd1 resolutely refuses to drink. At all. Let alone from detested doidy cup)

Do you really have to stop? Can you carry on at least in the mornings and evenings? This would surely be better for you both.

Silverfrog, what is said 'doidy cup'??

hang on. will try to find a link - it's just a slanty-type open cup...

I hope things go OK for you with this. I am three months in and still getting the engorgement that I was assured would stop by this time, so I can't imagine stopping, both physically and emotionally.

I obviously don't have any advice but just wanted to voice my support, as this will be me all too soon.

Can you maybe express at work and tail it off a bit to avoid the engorgement issues? I'm pretty sure that employers are duty bound to provide facilities for expressing and for storing ebm?

I hope you get the support you need from your friends and relatives.

Too Ticky, what you suggest would be my ideal scenario, I know this sounds dim, but how would I get her to take a bottle sometimes and not others? Wouldn't she always want me to flop a boob out?? No-else around to give her bottle, would have to be me.

hmmmm, not a very good picture of one here

Thank you Daisy. That pretty much sums up my dilemma - can't imagine stopping physically or emotionally. For once it is so good not to feel alone with this prob!

I have been totally responsible for her in so many ways and I feel that to stop is to let her down. But on the other hand, life has got to get going again!

... a slightly better pic here

Am ordering a doidy cup at once! Never seen one before but looks like it is worth a try. Thanks.

Sorry, I don't actually have experience of this, never having introduced a bottle, I just felt sad for you both and wanted to be encouraging. You could start a thread asking specifically about this though - I'm sure lots of people will be able to help.
Hope you find a way to keep bf

Can't see why you need to stop - if you did she would have to take a bottle really.

My DD at 6 months started solids and went onto 3 meals a day within a month. If you are going back to work in 8 weeks she will be 8 months old. You could feed her before you go to work and when you go home. IShe wouldn't need a milk feed necessarily during the time you are at work, depending how long you are away. She could have solids and water/juice to drink. It is amazing how your breasts adjust. You would not necessarily even need to express milk at work either.

Don't stop too hastily - there really is no need.

Oh Mears, that has given me hope!

on the mixed feeding front, I mix fed dd1 from 4 months ish until she was a year old. She had been used to a bottle from younger though.

I decided on the feed I wanted to drop first, then only gave that on eto her in a bottle. Stuck with that for a couple of weeks, then tackled the next feed.

Realise this might not be as easy for you as your dd is not happy with a bottle, but just outlining the method I used.

She was eventually down to first and last feeds being bf then all the rest were formula, and continued bf until had to give up as she was biting.

i went back to work when my dd was 7.5 months old & breastfed her 'til she was 18 months. i only work 2 days a week, but she managed fine at nursery and just fed voraciously when i picked her up. i fed her normally on the days i was with her & the milk supply adapted itself like magic. good luck .

oh, & playtex bottles worked the best.

hmm. second link was supposed to be to here

Does anyone think that I need to feed her less in order to get her to eat more solids? I'm confused on this, if you look at my OP you can see she still feeds loads, and I have tried to introduce lunch and tea, but she is not really bothered and only wants a few little spoons/bites. How will she make the transition? Will she just start preferring solids at some ponint? Or do I need to bf her less?

Am so grateful for the help

My experience has been that yes, they do start looking for more solids of their own accord.

Dd2 has now had solids for around 4 weeks, and just earlier this week (as I was starting to wonder whether I shoud be promoting solids more actively) jusy took off big style and kept wanting more (cue lots of lip smacking whenever I tried to end a meal...)

she must, htis week alone, have quadrupled the amount of solids she is taking.

she also, at the beginning of the week cut back hugely on the amount of milk she was taking. She has twice not really fed at all at 11pm ish (usualyy a good feed to keep her going through the night) so I guess she's starting to drop that one.

I do sympathise, it's such a guessing game (see my posts in weaning section re cutting back on milk too much)

Thank you so much for that advice. Mumsnet is great! As I said, all my f and r think I am a crazy lentil weaving, breast-exposing hippy so I don't get alot of support.

I do worry weight wise about dd, she is 25/26 weeks (lost count!) and still only weighs 15lbs.

Oh, I so know wher eoyu are coming from - dd2 is 29 weeks (I think) and at last weigh in a couple of weeks ago was 13lb 7oz (the 7oz are very important )