How do I continue BF once weaning begins?

[Mamabear04]

My baby has just turned 5mo and I have been weaning her with baby rice for the past 2 weeks under doctor's instructions due to reflux problems.

So far she is eating really well and finishing all her food which is great but I'm not quite sure what I should be doing about her milk. She is EBF and has been a great feeder since birth however due to her age she gets very distracted during the day and it's hard to get her to feed from the boob and I'm worried she isn't getting enough nutrients. She will only feed for about 4 minutes at a time and is on and off the boob constantly. I'm worried that she is actually hungry for milk but is getting too distracted. Sometimes it feels like she is playing a game coming on and off the boob and not really eating.

I went to a weaning talk in my local area but it was all aimed at 6mo starting proper solids and tbh I didn't get much information about how to continue BF once weaning started and how it adapts and changes. They said I should offer my LO a milk feed before food but when I do this she just doesnt seem interested because she is distracted.

I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong or what the right thing to do is...with the whole covid thing I can't access local support groups and I've had a few problems with my HV so I would rather not call her up. Can someone give me advice please? I don't want to mess up!

They do get faster at feeding. As long as there are plenty of nappies, you are doing ok.

What is she distracted by? Can you go somewhere less interesting?

@MinesAPintOfTea her nappies seem to be ok - a good few wet and at least 1 dirty one a day.

I know they are more efficient at feeding the older they get but I'm just worried she isn't draining the boob. She literally gets distracted by anything! A couple of weeks ago she rolled from her back to her belly (she could roll from her belly to her back from about 3mo) so when she is feeding she will practice rolling on and off the boob. She gets distracted by the fabric of a cushion or if my husband speaks to me. I never feed her with the tv on or have my phone. I've tried taking her to a dark room to feed but she still finds something to look or tries to stick her hand in her mouth as well as my nipple (she's teething as well so I'm guessing this is why she is doing this - it drives me mad!) Or just generally isn't interested. The only time she seems to have a proper feed is during the night and is sometimes waking up 3-4 times during a 12 hour period and feeding for about 30 minutes at a time (more than likely the 4mo sleep regression still)....

My baby is 6 months.. we've been weaning around 2 weeks.
He gets so distracted feeding out and about but luckily we don't do going out any more but he pulls off at any slight sound it drives me nuts! (Has 2 big siblings).
Don't have milk and solids close together... Currently my baby feeds around 5am. Breakfast around 7. Milk around 9. Lunch 11.30. milk around 2. Snack around 3.30 dinner at 5.30 and bed time feed around 7. (He also feeds at 10pm and 2am)
It does feel like you are constantly feeding them!
Don't worry.... Keep offering milk first then food. She will take the milk she needs.. they feed very quickly at this age often only needing a few mins.

They start getting really distracted from about 4 months IME - it’s really annoying
Either try some boring daytime feeds or expect extra feeds in evening/overnight

Offering the same side helped two of mine (more hind milk) but depends how your supply is (I always have ridiculous oversupply)

One of mine was determined to suck her thumb while BF

@Hangingtrousers see this is why I'm getting confused! Because you said separate the food and milk feeds which makes sense but then you said keep offering her milk then food...do you mean always try milk first and if she doesnt want it then give her food? Thanks for the schedule. I think I need something like that! I think it might be easier when she goes into full blown solids but don't want to start that until she is 6mo. Do you express milk at all or still have your LO on the boob for milk feeds?

@Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons how did you stop your LO wanting to suck her thumb while feeding??!!! Its driving me nuts! I am constantly taking her hand away but she wont stop trying! I have actually been only offering her one side in the hope she will get the good stuff. She is definitely making it up with night feeds but I'm worried that this is going to keep going and I am so tired! She was sleeping 7 hour stretches without feeding before but seems now the most she can go is 3 hours and if she is feeding for 30 mins a time I'm only getting 2.5 hours of sleep at a time. I'm so worried that her sleep is messed up now because of this and it's causing a lot of tension in the house

My daughter is 7 months old. At 4/5 months she was exactly as you describe. She wouldn't focus on feeding, would come on and off the breast and would suck her fingers whilst feeding.
Her sleep also nosedived. I think it's just a phase though. I know that isn't particularly helpful, but I wasn't really able to do anything to make her feed properly again. She just eventually realised that she could feed and people watch at the same time! Then the sleep naturally improved too.

Also just to add she is now really good at breastfeeding, eating and sleeping ....for the most part! Hope it works out for you.

No I don't offer milk first if it's a food time. Yes once 6months it's easier as they can just have food when you do and give them the same as the rest of the family... and milk in between.
I've never expressed just boob all the time.

My boy is 7 months, I just offer BM whenever he seems to get cranky! I don't try and coordinate it with meals, if he wants it 5 mins before/after or during a meal then that's fine. I'm.not using solids to provide any nutrition at this point - we are doing blw loosely and he's mainly dropping it on the floor anyway. My DD was the same but it all ironed out eventually

Same as @Bellesavage , I don’t try to coordinate milk with his solids (8month old) I offer milk when he wakes, before naps and inbetween whenever he seems a bit grumpy. He has breakfast at 8, lunch about 11:30/12 and dinner at 5, with bath at 6/6:30 and bed by 7.
He seems to prefer milk before a nap, and will often refuse milk upon waking. He wakes for milk overnight though I co sleep for my sanity so I’m not sure how often or when anymore! I know he definitely feeds at 10/11 and wakes about 4/5 am to latch on!
Some days he has less and some days he has more!

Oh and he does get distracted so as we aren’t going anywhere I tend to breastfeed him in our bedroom but when I have been out and about if he really wants bf he will feed even if he does pull off for a nosy every minute!

Oh OP that all sounds really stressful for you!

First of all, yes babies do have periods when they are more distracted and they also get periods where they feed more and wake more at night. This will pass, no matter what you do. Maybe in spite of whatever you do.

Secondly, I think try to relax if you can and keep it simple. Your baby is still very young for weaning (I know a doctor has advised it) so milk should absolutely be the primary form of food. Solid food is just for learning about at this point.

Thirdly, i would offer both breasts as per normal. Don’t restrict to just one as this might affect your supply. The fore and hind milk thing is a bit misleading so try not to worry about that!

In terms of getting baby to focus, I would recommend trying some skin to skin. Go into a quiet part of the house, maybe even lie down together. Don’t look at your phone (annoying I know) and just do some skin to skin cuddles and see if she will feed.

I would also wait until she is hungry or asking for a feed. Babies at this age can be really efficient at getting milk so they can feed quickly compared to when they were tiny. Keep an eye on her nappies and weight gain but if that’s tracking normally then she will be getting enough.

It is so hard when they suddenly start waking up at night. Is it possible that her tummy is full because of the baby rice and uncomfortable but she still wants to feed so she keeps waking up to try? Is the baby rice helping with the reflux?

Babies do go through sleep regressions like you are describing and sometimes we can’t figure out why at all. Being kind and gentle and feeding her for comfort when she asks is the best you can do. I promise it will all change again very soon, even if it feels like you will never sleep again! When my son suddenly started waking (and feeding) throughout the night I started watching a long drama on Netflix (on silent with subtitles) so I actually looked forward to when he woke up. Even though I was a zombie. It meant I didn’t feel so resentful of him.

Anyway sorry that was very long winded but hopefully helpful. I have had 3 babies, all EBF and can definitely relate to what you are going through!

It is difficult and frustrating but I know a good few babies who were less interested in milk once there were solids on offer during the day. They all made up for it with plenty of milk at night and it has worked out fine for them. Mine was the opposite, she loves the taste of the solids and would play happily with them, stock then in her mouth, chew then etc. Then cheerfully spit them out and ask for her milk. She was about 9 months before I saw anything different about her nappies and a year before she was eating much food at all. I worried that she wouldn't get enough from just my milk as they do start to need a bit more iron and vit d than breastmilk contains. Both she and the other babies have all turned out fine. She is now over 2 and a great eater. She eats lots of veg, lentils, eggs, fruit. Really healthy. She still takes plenty of milk, especially during the night. Her best friend was one of the food hoovers. She eats similarly well and still refuses milk during the day and still breastfeeds lots at night. Both have grown up well. They are fit and healthy. My wee one is quite tiny compared the the others but other then that no difference (both myself and her dad are small, so it isn't surprising that she is a wee dot).

Long story short, if she is taking plenty of milk at night and isn't getting dehydrated during the day then she will be fine. Especially if she is having wee snacks during the day. DDs best friend wasn't even taking that. No milk at all during the day. Don't bother with offering just one breast. As another person has said the foremilk/hindmilk thing isn't as clear cut as that and you could affect your supply.

how did you stop your LO wanting to suck her thumb while feeding??!!! Its driving me nuts!
It’s so frustrating especially as it wrecks the latch & when they manage to hook some skin on the way in OUCH!
Sorry I don’t have a magic answer just used to hold her hand or try to trap it with my arm. Lots of stopping the feed if I couldn’t remove the thumb. it was a bit like the biting stage I suppose lots of stopping & restarting

@AlphaIndigo that's good to hear that things returned to normal- well as normal as you can get with babies! How long did it take for your LOs sleep to improve and for her to figure out that she can look around and still feed? I think if I could get more than 2.5 hours sleep at a time then I could manage the stress of her not eating. It all feels very intense to be happening during lock down...

@Hangingtrousers @Blueswede @Bellesavage thank you this totally makes sense now! I'm so happy because I feel I can get some sort of structure with her feeding!

@Bridgeofpies I have wondered if she has an uncomfortable tummy! But there's a lot of other things going on as well like teething, the clocks changing and she had her 16 week jags (a bit late right!). Also thanks for the tips of offering both breasts as well as @Brenna24