Breast feeding hell. Please help.

[Freewanderer]

Long story short. Have been struggling for 8 weeks now to bf and am point of thinking of stopping. I have had to now introduce formula once or twice a day due to poor weight gain.
It’s the latch. Baby just can’t seem to do it! They all say no tie etc but feeding is always uncomfortable. It’s like my ds’ lower teeth are grating on my nipple. He’s also started making a clicking noise, which is relatively new. He makes the same noise when drinking from a bottle. We got off to a bad start due to neonatal jaundice needing treatment.
The reason I’m interested to see if anyone has an advice/ideas is that also, I have started getting weird ‘electric shock’ sensations randomly during feeds (at no particular point). I really don’t want to stop but now there are no cafes to go to (thanks to covid), I’m at loss as what to do.
Thanks for any ideas. I must say, I have no issues with ff at all. I just can see that the closeness from
Bf is quite a unique experience and I don’t want to give that up yet.

Thank u for kind words and help. I’ll have a look at links and call the la Leche helpline.
I may ask hv to see re thrush being a possibility too.
This whole bf thing seems to be so easy for some? Most of my family annoyingly 😬😂

Not sure if this will help you or not but hope it does.

Arghh what's wrong withe tonight can't seem to post without messing it up!

The picture might give you an idea about what I mean about centering the baby to your nipple.

I'd want him checked for tongue tie again. I think the electric shock feeling you describe is probably your let down though.

Congrats on your new baby!

My DD was born at 36 weeks, was so small and sleepy she just didnt have the energy to BF. I bought an electric double pump and expressed for 6 weeks, topping her up wi the odd bit of formula. I put her on the breast a couple of times a day to keep her in touch with it, and after a while it just 'clicked' for her what she needed to do. From around 10 weeks she was EBF (no expressing) until 5mo when I stopped (that was when I planned to move to formula).

You could try a pump and then use bottles with different teats to see what works.

Otherwise, you have done a fab job keeping it up for 8 weeks, you could move on to bottle feeding knowing you have transferred the most important nutritional benefits (colostrum and early milk).

Please dont let worry about breastfeeding (or not breastfeeding!) overshadow your newborn days. It's a very special time and not to be spent stressed/upset if you can avoid it. I find breastfeeding to be a little bit overrated, it's just one good thing you can do for your child, there are millions more.

Good luck.

Hello, I used to be a BF peer supporter but haven’t volunteered for a long time.

Try the National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212. They’re all trained like I was and able to give advice and assistance over the phone. They run from 9.30am- 9.30pm.

I’m sure things will get better and in the current climate I’d definitely advocate breastfeeding as long as you can manage

Are they sure is not even a bit of tongue tie? My baby had it but not severe and it was missed for 3 months. Sore nipples and clicking noise when feeding, after a while getting too tired and slipping off, not gaining enough weight. They gave me the choice if I wanted to have the tongue snipped as they didn't think it was bad, he was nearly four month. I decided for it to be done and I had no pain and baby had no problems after that. Maybe worth getting a second opinion?

Also the tongue needs to cover their lower gum so the nipple is protected from damage.

How you doing today OP @Freewanderer???

Ah thanks for asking. I’ve looked through all the links and taken on board all the advice/ tried some of suggestions. But it’s all still difficult. Have had to give more formula than I would have liked.
I am hoping there maybe someone that can help me via video link next week.

I was going to say that I can’t force him to keep a latch that is tolerable. He always screams n gets upset and pulls back on the nipple. Arghhhh!!
Feel awful that maybe I’m just hopeless at this and I’m not cut out for all this

I did call the breast feeding helpline. Unfortunately the lovely lady didn’t really have much to add. It’s difficult I guess over the phone

Have you seen someone who is actually knowledgeable about breastfeeding and knows how to spot a posterior tongue tie?? Most HCPs don't have a clue. I would have a look at the Association of Tongue Tie Practitioners website and find someone on there who is also a lactation consultant.

💐 Hardest thing I’ve ever done. Took me six weeks. Hope you get it sorted soon, one way or another. Take care, it’s so stressful when you’re in the middle of it.

Yes. I have had a infant feeding specialist have a look. She couldn’t get him to feed without discomfort. She sort of said that it maybe a chin that’s slightly more receding than normal and narrow palate? Then a couple of times after that when I was a close to quitting, he seemed to manage it a bit better and I had some hope.
Thank u both for taking time to write x

I have to say I wonder if half the problem with my first is she was small with a narrow mouth.
She still is very petite nearly 13 years on and still on the bottom of the growth chart.
Whereas her sister is near the top and always has been!
Thinking of you and remember your doing a great job!

I had read a good article on feeding with a receded has but I can't seem to find it again.
But the advice centred around using gravity to help. So generally half lying with baby on your tummy. For me I'd sit upright with baby 'sat' upright on my lap, or when she grew a bit stand with baby vertical. It's not as hard as it sounds if baby actually latches. And most grow out of it at 3/4 months.

Receding jaw can definitely be a risk factor for painful latch. I agree with the suggestion to try a laidback position, it can be beneficial for helping baby to get deeper onto the breast.

Thank u for the suggestion. Yes, I’ve tried the laid back and still he struggles. Overnight he is screaming blue murder when I try to attach him properly. I’m not sure bf is meant to be this much of a challenge (it’s nearly 9 weeks now). I feel I’m reaching the end of the road now, which is sad.

Hi, I am having some similar issues. I have the funny electric shock feelings from time to time and think it is letdown. And the grating. Good way to describe it. Or like pinching. My lo (5 weeks) had a posterior tongue tie cut one and a half weeks ago. Before that his suck was painless but ineffective. Since then he sometimes does the gratey thing and sometimes it's fine, (and much more effective / powerful than before). It is infuriating because I have spent lots of time trying to improve the latch and him insistently doing it painfully and giving me blisters, and then suddenly he stops. Like it's just up to him and to do with what is going on inside his mouth. I have put it down to a learning curve for his new tongue, but I think it has to do with extending it enough. Today what seems to be helping is firstly letting him suck a finger and doing a bit of a tug of war (I saw this reading something about suck training) and secondly, counterintuitively, letting him do it with less help from me (I'd been shaping the breast and trying to shove more in, but externally the latch always looks good and I don't think it's actually about deep vs shallow). That one is easier said than done though if you are sore! Really I can only do that because he'd already decided to do it better!

Oh and sometimes checking if his lips turned out helps if it's a bit clicky or squelchy. Top lip doesn't but sometimes benefits from being encouraged to be a bit less turned in

I haven't rtft so sorry if this has already been said, but if you can afford it I'd really recommend a breastfeeding consultant. I had issues bfing with my first, really tempted to give up, saw a consultant who sorted me out (and stayed in touch after to help with any remaining problems - that is key) and I kept going until about 9 months in the end.

If not, there may be a free breastfeeding cafe or centre in your area run by local midwives?

I'd really recommend some help in person either way. I really needed someone to just do the latch for me and the baby repeatedly to sort it out.

Actually I just realised i don't know if they are still operating given covid19, or even allowed to operate. Online would be tricky I think.

Hi.
Yes. I’ve tried to allow him to latch himself actually, but it’s so shallow and doesn’t seem to work.
I’ve actually been on antibiotics now for a bad case of mastitis, so that and covid - I don’t know but maybe someone up there is trying to tell me something.
I really would have loved to get more help in person but am assuming it wont be possible now.
I do feel pretty crap as I’ve tried quite hard and this is my 2nd and last baby (and I couldn’t even bf first due to latch issues😢). Must be me. Keep telling myself that bf isn’t everything but I wanted to be able to do it and preserved because I thought maybe this time it would improve.