When to wean off breastfeeds?!

[Fivebyfive2]

Hi all! Confused first time mum who's probably thinking too far ahead!!

My baby is 14 weeks and mostly breastfed, with a bottle of formula in the evening. I've been very lucky in that breastfeeding has mostly gone really well, a few struggles but we've powered through.

However, ideally I think I'd like to stop when he is 6 months. I feel like by then I'll want my body back and a little more freedom, plus as he gets bigger and more active I'm finding positions a bit more difficult!

However, as the 6 month mark approaches, I'm feeling really guilty because he loves breastfeeding and has been gaining weight well. I know that it's not just feeding, it's also a comfort for him.

He will take a bottle, although he can be a bit fussy with it. He also tends to take a couple of ounces, then refuse, then we'll try again a little later and he has another couple ; I assume this is because he mostly feeds on demand and maybe isn't used to taking very large quantities in one go? It's fine at the moment because we only do bottles between about 7pm and midnight and he's actually starting to sleep more through this window recently as well. But I worry when if start trying to do more bottle feeds, it could be a problem if he keeps only taking small amounts?

I'm a member of a pro breastfeeding group on Facebook and go to my local support group sometimes and they're all there feeding babies until they self wean and I just feel really guilty wanting to stop? Part of me wonders if it would be easier to just carry on and see how it goes once he's having food, but if I'm really honest with myself, 6 months BF just feels like it will be enough for me.

Am I being really really mean thinking of stopping at 6vmonths even though it is going mostly well? And does anyone have any tips for weaning off the breast, preferably gradually as I assume this will be less stressful for him?? Thanks! Xxx

You've done so well to get to that age! Just do what feels right for you, no one else is walking in your shoes.

I personally thought I'd go for a year, that milestone passed and I haven't felt emotionally ready to stop.

I think that I'll just know when the time's up for us. Just like I knew when I wanted DS out of our bedroom. I had planned for it to be at 6 months. 6 months came and I wasn't emotionally ready and kept making excuses "his nursery isn't ready, will take ages" etc. One morning at when he was about 8 months I just said to my husband that I need that child out of my bedroom NOW. By that evening DS was sleeping in his room. My excuse (sorting out the nursery) took less than 2 hours. Just needed to get there emotionally.

Think my current rationalised excuse to keep breastfeeding is coronavirus. Think my excuse could be anything really though, the root is that emotionally I can't personally let go yet.

If you are considering going past the 6 months, I'd say though that if your DS takes well to weaning and starts drinking water from a cup, BF becomes a lot less demanding. After weaning I definitely got back my freedom and have found BF to be often a really nice cuddling time and it has also helped us ride through both norovirus and rotavirus infections. Through those I was glad I was able to keep feeding him as he wasn't taking in liquids in any other form and think BF kept him from getting dehydrated.

Sorry OP, just assumed you had a DS rather than DD! Ignore that bit x

@apples24, thank you for replying!! I can totally relate to not being ready, I'm fully expecting to want to put off putting ds in his own room at first! Isn't it odd, in the first few weeks after he was born I was so emotional, part of me wanted my old life and its freedoms back and although part of me still does, I also know it will feel so strange when he's in his own room and not breastfeeding, whenever it happens!! Xxx

There’s nothing wrong with stopping at 6 months (or whenever you like!) but that’s still a little while away so you don’t need to worry about it now. Once your baby is weaned bf will reduce dramatically anyway so you might find you don’t feel the same need to stop anyway as you do now (it’s quite intense when you’re their only source of food!). See how you go!

Just something to consider When your little girl starts eating solids your breastfeeds will go down a little bit. I stopped at 12 months I feel like my baby sort of self weaned we were doing a bottle before bed and then he started having a bottle first thing in the morning as it was his time with his dad before he went to work and then the only other time he was having milk was once in the afternoon and it didn't really seem worth it to keep breastfeeding just for that one afternoon feed. He hasn't been bothered at all! But I still feel very sad when I stopped.

Sorry just realised I didn't give any advice at all I just told you about myself. I think it does have to be a gradual process to start dropping your feet now and then and replacing with a bottle or solids. I would evaluate how you feel at about seven months once your baby has started having a bit of food

Getting to 6 months is a great achievement. I think the best thing to do is wait and see how you feel - unless there's a reason you absolutely must wean (e.g. you're returning to work FT) then take it day by day. If you'd asked me with my first when I was going to wean off breastfeeding in the early days, I'd have told you as quickly as possible! I ended up breastfeeding him for 18 months. Now bf DS2 and had a similar wobble when he was 9 weeks old- he's now 5 months old and it's all going well. You will find once solids pick up that you feed much less and that your baby becomes super efficient because they want to get back to playing/exploring so it's not like the start when it feels like all you do is feed. Also do be careful when you decide to stop - to avoid mastitis it's advised to drop one feed at a time rather than go cold turkey. It can also make you feel quite emotional and upset when you stop (due to a shift in hormones) but that's totally normal and it does pass.

DS is still breastfeeding once a day/night at 15 months. I had thought to stop at one year, but we've just seemed to continue. It helps soothe him with his teeth coming through and I'm working so if he wakes in the night it's the easiest way to get him back to sleep so I can sleep too.

At six months your DS will only just be starting on solids. You can replace breast with formula to supplement the solids if you want. There is no "right" time to stop, it's whatever works for you and baby!

@Fivebyfive2 great thoughts from everyone above. Just go with your gut feel and instinct.

PS - I know what you mean about BF groups etc. I go to one regularly and love the mums there to bits but some are definitely a bit overly evangelic about their parenting choices (not just BF but things like co-sleeping etc too) and feel like they can put, without really meaning it, pressure on others to parent like they do. I just smile and thank for their advice/sentiments and do my own thing in the light of what's right for my family.

I would not consider weaning off breastmilk until the coronavirus is under control. Your breastmilk will provide extra protection not available from normal foods or formula.

Under normal circumstances I would say wean when you are ready... But under the current climate I would continue to offer breastmilk for as long as possible particularly as formula is likely to be rationed and food prices I expect will go thru the roof.

You stop when you don’t want to do it anymore, not when someone makes you feel you should.

With my first I was convinced I’d want to stop by 6 months but was finding it so convenient that we decided to carry on. It’s a personal choice for everyone though.

Just to add to what Land said, you may find this information helpful

I wanted to reach a year, I did, but my little one is still a boob monster and I'm happy to go along for as long (within reason) as she is. You have an advantage that yours takes a bottle, mine never and it's too late to start, so you have that assurance that baby will still feed.

Do what's right for you and baby. Sod what anyone else thinks x

However yes I agree with pp. keeping boobing until this shit storm has passed. Health wise better for you and for baby.