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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Wedding with BF 9 wk old

28 replies

Catz · 07/09/2007 17:27

I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks with my dd who will then be 9 1/2 wks old. Finding one of my dresses that I can fit into is hard enough without finding one that's also able to let me feed discreetly! I want to be able to bottle feed her (EBM) for the day as I don't want to have to keep rushing out to find somewhere quiet to feed her. We've not got bottle feeding established yet so I'd appreciate some advice.

How much milk do you think I need for a day - say from 2:30 till 11 (if she'll sleep - that's another problem but let's be optimistic!) Usually she feeds around 4, 7 and 10 but often wants to snack inbetween especially if she needs comfort. Also, how long will it take me to build up enough of a supply in the freezer for this? The problem is that she's only accepted the bottle once (this morning) and then only when she'd been on the breast for a bit first, so I want to express milk to use now to get her used to it too. This morning it took me about 15 mins to get 2 oz with a manual pump but I was very 'full'. Should I just give up!

Any advice would be very welcome!

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 07/09/2007 17:31

Surely you'll get full and uncomfy not feeding all that time

Better to find a outfit to feed in imho

justbeme · 07/09/2007 17:43

my daughters 8 weeks old and i have an wedding 2 go to and a 40th meal. at my first attempt of expressing it took half hour to get 3 oz, but this morning at 6.30 as i was so full i got 3oz in 10mins.

i remember with my dd1 i left her with grandparents whilst i went to a wedding and i was in agony by the end of the night ,leaking and engorged. so you could save the bottles for say the meal etc and nip somewhere quiet for a bf to ensure you dont get too full.

ive also found it a nightmare to get an outfit!!

Original poster
Catz · 07/09/2007 17:53

I know, I'm a bit worried about the 'full' thing too. Though recently she's had some nights of only feeding once in the night and only from one breast so the other has not been emptied from 11-7 so a similar amount of time. I've been pretty engorged but not too awful. I've spoken to the bride and there should be a gap between 4-5 for drinks/photos etc so I should be able to sneak off then - even if I have to sit in the car- if she'll feed.

There doesn't seem to be as much on the market for nursing clothes as maternity clothes.

OP posts:
belgo · 07/09/2007 17:56

I took my dd1 aged 8 weeks to a wedding. I bf her in the church after the service whilst another baby was having a bottle.

I wore a skirt and top with a cardigan making it easy and discreet to bf.

justbeme · 07/09/2007 17:58

Theres a nice dress on everydaymaternity.com for £51, but im not really a dress person.

Habbibu · 07/09/2007 18:21

Yes, I've breastfed in church at a few weddings, and at the dinner table at receptions. Top, trousers/skirt and shawl/pashmina type thing. Baby easily calmed and you don't miss out on anything. If you'd told me when I was pregnant that I'd have posted this I'd have fallen over in a dead faint...

Difers · 07/09/2007 19:17

I stressed out about getting my baby to take a bottle for a wedding where I was a bridesmaid. In the end I made a matching sling to my dress and wore a bodice/skirt to the ceremony and then a matching bf friendly top with skirt to the meal & evening dance and I don't think anyone noticed me feeding at all especially as I got the bride to sit me next to another bf woman. It should all be fine.

Original poster
Catz · 07/09/2007 19:21

Thanks - it's reassuring to know that others have done it! OK I will look at some outfits. Thing is I'd really like to dress up and feel nice for a change esp as evenings out are now a novelty. The only dressy thing I have that I can fit is just not bf friendly. Will look for skirt and top combos (I guess I can take them to change into if bottle not working) but the BF tops I have are not very exciting. Also they're doing 'mix everyone up' tables so I'll prob be without DH and with people I don't know so a bit nervous about going for it...

...if I do the EBM route what do people think about quantities?

OP posts:
Original poster
Catz · 07/09/2007 19:23

Wow differs - that's very impressive! Did she get to go down the aisle with you?!

OP posts:
belgo · 07/09/2007 19:54

I'm going to recount the story again of my friend who go married in a church and bf her baby at the altar She also had made a bfing friendly wedding dress and a beautiful silver coloured ring sling to carry her baby in.

Kog · 07/09/2007 20:06

I BF'd at a wedding and still looked (I hope) glam. I wore a full skirted 50s style shirt dress with a pillbox hat and very high heels. Was good fun to dress up for once. Could feed quite easily by undoing a couple of the buttons down the front - BUT, very important to wear a pretty cami under the dress or you might show more than you intended.

Sam100 · 07/09/2007 20:22

Catz - the problem you are going to have is transporting and keeping cool then warming up your b'milk. You are probably going to be at a few different venues church/reception etc. Any commercial place is unlikely to let you store breastmilk in their fridge due to H & S issues - plus you dont know if it might get contaminated. So you would need to have breastmilk in some sort of chiller type bag - if you freeze it then you could take it out in the morning and it would slowly thaw during the day until the afternoon. But then you would have the problem of heating it up. Could only really do with hot water and stand bottle in. The Avent b'milk storage kits can attach to the pump and then go in the freezer and then you use an adaptor to atach the bottle top and teat to them so you do not have to t/f from bags to bottles etc.

If your dd is having 3 hrly feeds then you will probably need at least 4 ozs for each feed - so at least 3 feeds plus a spare in case you drop one/she doesn't take it/she is still hungry! Plus you will get very full and may need to express some milk so you don't leak/get too uncomfy so you will need to take your breast pump too!

I had to go to a wedding when ds was 4 weeks old. I wore stretchy camisole top, pretty skirt, and sparkly cardy thing over. I just put a muslin over him when feeding. But scarf or pashmina or wrap is good idea. I went to John Lewis when he was 2 weeks old and used the personal shopper service to go and get me loads of stuff to try on while I sat there in the little room feeding the boy! She picked out the camisole, skirt combo and even found me a really pretty elle mcpherson nursing bra.

I fed him in the church while register being signed, at reception in quiet room while everyone faffing around and then as evening went on at the table. You will find if you feed the baby they will probably drop off and you can pop them down in the pram while you eat etc. Plus there will be loads of people there who will want a cuddle and would be happy to carry her round. I only saw ds at this wedding when I went to look for him as it was feeding time. The rest of the time he was being cuddled by grannies, aunties, friends etc!

I did find some good b'feeding camisoles from Canada - see here. I got a couple but they are quite "t'shirty" and were not dressy enough for the wedding but were great after with jeans etc.

katwith3kittens · 07/09/2007 21:52

I think the majority agree here that feeding your LO yourself is the easiest and most practical thing to do without the need for EBM. My LO was baptised a couple of weeks ago and I wore a wrap dress that let me feed discretly throughout the day (using a muslin draped over one shoulder too). I fed him before the service but typically , that was not enough and he squawked so much I had to feed him again during the service. If you have got to 9 weeks you are a dab hand at it by now. Enjoy your day !

justbeme · 08/09/2007 17:37

Sam 100 - i like the tops that you linked! Do you live in Canada or in the Uk? If Uk how much roughly do they work out at in pounds?

Difers · 08/09/2007 19:30

No, hubby held baby during aisle bit. Ask the bride to site you with your husband ..I'm sure she would understand and remember you need space for the buggy at the table so that if baby is sleeping then you can both enjoy the meal!

Pannacotta · 08/09/2007 22:21

Am going to a wedding next week with our 3 month old who still feeds at least every 3 hours.
Fully intend to feed him as and when he needs it and will not be hiding away either.
Have bought a patterned silk skirt with a matching cami with ribbon edging in a bigger size than usual so I can pull it up to feed him. HAve also bought a pretty shrug to go with it and give some coverage around my sides/tummy when I am feeding.
I wouldnt worry about the EBM, much easier to feed your LO yourself as and when you need to, as another post says this will settle the baby too so you can enjoy yourselves.

maisym · 08/09/2007 22:24

bf would be more comfortable for you as engorgement can lead to mastitius as well as causing leaking.

Check out top and skirt/trouser combinations - any clothes will do as long as you are comfy.

ScottishMummy · 08/09/2007 22:37

all eyes on bride so fortunately u will go unnoticed. most people are very kind and dont say owt (thats my experience anyway)

Pannacotta · 08/09/2007 22:39

There is no reason for you to feel embarassed about breastfeeding your baby! Its the most natural thing in the world (pls excuse the cliched phrase but am v tired...)
Hope you find something glam to wear...

StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2007 09:14

I think expressing enough will cause you a lot of stress between now and then.
Plus if you bf in the church you have an easy way to keep her quiet through the vows and the "does anyone have any objections?" - worked for me

ruddynorah · 09/09/2007 09:24

please bf rather than expressing. loads of ideas on here for cami/cardi combos. plus you'll be helping to normalise bfing by showing people it's nothing to be hidden. the more people just get on and do it, the less mums will feel awkward and embarrassed about it.

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/09/2007 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ciara79 · 09/09/2007 17:59

i bf my dd at a wedding when she was 6 days old. i wore a strapless bra and strapless sretchy dress so i just pulled down whichever side when i needed to feed and put a muslin over my shoulder. faffing around with bottles will just stress you and baby out, esp if not used to it. and don't go hiding in corners either- you're there to enjoy yourself- not to miss anything while your stuck in a corner. no one will even bat an eye lid- babies need to be fed- end of story!

Original poster
Catz · 10/09/2007 20:52

Many thanks for your messages. They look pretty unanimous and who am I to go against the combined wisdom of MN! It's probably for the best as I seem to need her to cry before I can express efficiently. Rather than expressing, we'll spend the time practising BF in a sling. Thanks for the outfit ideas - I'm sure it's possible to get a great outfit that works, it'd just be nice to choose somethingfor how it looks alone rather than its ease of nipple access!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2007 21:49

Good luck, sorry your OP hasn't really been answered but I think that's just because at your DD's age it would be so difficult to know how much you'd need - you'd have to take loads then probably end up throwing half of it out Hope you enjoy the wedding and find an outfit that both looks good and has easy nipple access

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