so if i'm going to make to the mn xmas meet up i need your help please!

[massivebigpantsface]

i have already missed out on the prince concert i bought tickets for because dd will not take a bottle at night time!

DD is 7 months and has recently started taking a bottle (ebm or formula) every day mid morning and more often when I do a full days work once a week. She is usually ok with this.

I am now at the stage where I am ready to have bit of a life outside of being a mummy and hope to catch up with friends old and new after being a complete hermit for the last year. Things are a bit tough at home and a bit of time out now and then will do me good i reckon.

The problem is at night dd wakes very regularly and expects a little feed, comfort mostly for sure, but guzzles quite a bit mid evening (she goes to bed at 7pm ish settling herself in cot ok).
What do I do? When she wakes at 10pm we have tried all sorts to get her to settle with bottle, without, dh, me - nothing works but bf! She just cries and cries and gets more worked up. I have perservered for ages and then end up giving in, then feeling terrible and guilty for putting her through all the upset.

I have been invited out next week but can't bear the thought that she will be screaming and dh helpless, on the other hand perhaps she might be ok without me there at all?

I will be only about 10 minutes away from home in town so can pop back if things get really bad, but if this turns out to be the case how can I overcome this for the future ( and, more importantly, the mn do!)

hope my post doesn't make me sound selfish! A night out of course does not compare to nknowing that dd is happy and content.

shameless bump!

mmm My lo was like this until one day I had to leave him with my parents as I had an appointment. I got back to find he had fallen asleep on my dad's lap . He never ever ever did that for me. Or dh.

Have you tried desperate measures - going for a walk in the pushchair, going for a drive? Not ideal long term but maybe worth it for a night out.

You don't sound selfish at all btw

Yes, I'd try the big distraction method to bigpants.

Get dh to take her to a completely different environment and try feeding her there.
Do you stay in her room when shes upset wanting a BF?

If you do try taking her downstairs, into the kitchen....into the car....wherever. She'll probably think "what on earth is going on....oh look theres a bottle....ohhh food...gimmme gimme gimmmme"

by the time the xmas meet comes around, i'm sure you'll have it all sorted....i hope so antway

hope so lth - don't worry you won't be going alone

we'll smuggle her in under our coats if we have too

I fully sympathise. My DS is 5 months and I too, am desparate for a night off! In fact, I posted a message to this effect, shortly after you started this conversation! I'm afraid I can't offer you any help though, as DS hasn't taken a bottle (ebm or formula) since a couple of months ago (a fluke , I think!), other than just to say I don't think we're being selfish - I'm sure a little bit of time to myself will do me the world of good!

I am thinking, like you, that I might just pop up the road for a drink, leave DS with his Nanny (who had the success with the bottle with him that one time) and come back if he's getting upset. (He has an 11pm-ish "comfort feed".) But he might just take to it OK. I suppose I won't know until I try, will I? But it's the guilt that makes it difficult, isn't it?

yes definately the guilt! It is horrible to know that they are upset, when you could so easily be the one to make it all better!

Does your lo take a bottle at any other time?
We had trouble getting dd to take one, we tried from about 4 weeks old until out of the blue she decided she would at 4 months. Then she prefered it to bf (i felt so lost!) so we stopped giving her a bottle on a regular basis because I couldn't express much, until I went back to work at 6m. Then she decide she didn't like it again! So fickle, the little madam!

As I said earlier she is now ok with the day time bottles, we have stuck to giving her 1 every morning whether I am at home or not, so that she knows that this is part of her daily routine.

the thing is, when she is refusing it how long should I get dh to keep trying before I bf? Or should I not give in at all ?

I would just go out (and have done). DS was a real comfort feeder, would wake up at random times and want boob, made me worried about going out. When he was younger (under 6 months) I used to faff about leaving ebm in a bottle, which DH would plug the boy's screaming mouth with, sometimes worked, sometimes not. One night I went out to my book group and got back to find a haggard DH who had been dealing with DS (9months old?) screaming on and off for 2 and a half hours. I felt pretty guilty and DH wasn't too happy either, BUT.... I don't think DS was damaged permanently and it seems to have been a one off. (hope that doesn't make me sound too hard, I'm quite lentilly really, but it was book group...)

Since DS's 1st birthday a month ago I have been sending DH in with water if DS wakes in the night. He would have screamed the place down a few months ago, but accepts it and now seems to be sleeping through until 5am. Know what you mean about needing some time off, feels so hard to be 'on call' all the time.