Breastfeeding frequency vs time spent each feed

[DorothyWasRightTho]

Just wondering if anyone could offer advice on this, 5 day old baby feeding really well in my opinion and feel like we’re getting the hang of it! He feeds probably every 1-1.5 hours for anything from 10- 60 mins. Midwife said today I must be feeding him every 3 hours for 30/40 mins on each side. I added up for today all his feeds and it worked out more than the equivalent of adding her schedule up. She said if he’s sleeping I should feed him and if he nods off halfway through wake him up and keep feeding. My mother’s instinct says if he’s feeding for the same amount of time collectively I don’t want to keep waking him unnecessarily ( she suggested changing his nappy even if it’s clean to wake him up). I’m happy that he’s definitely getting plenty of milk but don’t know if there’s another reason her schedule is better than what we’re currently managing to do.

Sounds to me like what you are doing is fine. None of mine as breastfed newborns would go as long as three hours between feeds, and I was never inclined to wake a sleeping baby. Trust your instincts.

Your midwife is chatting crap 🙈 babies often feed much more frequently than every 3 hours and different frequencies throughout the day (the longest stretch of sleep never seems to fall at the most convinient time you you to get in a nap though lol)

best way to tell if baby is getting enough is to look at your baby. Does he look well? Waking for feeds? Lots of wet and dirty nappies? Then you're doing great! I like this LLL page www.laleche.org.uk/is-my-baby-getting-enough-milk/

Your midwife sounds nuts! Assuming there are no issues with weight gain and frequent wet and dirty nappies, I'd crack on with what you're doing!

Thank you all!! I have found most of the ‘support’ so far very militant, I’m sure hormones were involved but I sobbed after speaking to the breastfeeding support worker on day 3, she made me feel like I was doing so badly!

I'm a midwife. When babies have established a pattern they often feed every 3 hours or so....this is not at 5 days old! It sounds like you are being baby led and feeding when they want which is the way to do it. At this stage your baby is establishing your milk supply and if your baby needs to feed every 1.5 hours to do this then I would recommend that you just go with it and keep feeding! If you ignored your baby's feeding cues and only fed 3 hourly, you may find that your milk supply reduces. Keep doing what you are doing as it sounds great. Well done for getting the hang of it so quickly.

Sorry...one more thing. I would say that if your baby appears to be falling asleep very early on in the feed (10 mins or so), try gentle measures to keep them going a bit longer. Stroking their face, playing with feet etc. If a feed has been 20 mins or longer, i would just let baby sleep though (as long as no concerns about weight).

Thanks so much @stopchewingeverything!
I do try and keep him going if he’s only been on a short time, giving his earlobe a tickle seems to do the trick. He’s being weighed tomorrow so hopefully that’ll show everything’s okay. Currently 3.5 hours into a cluster feeding session so it’s obviously going somewhere!

It's weird because I thought the opposite was true in those first days (currently feeding my 9 week old)- feed on demand but if they've not fed for 4 hours (timed from start of last feed) then wake them to feed. Stripping them down and lastly wiping over with a cold baby wipe should help wake them for a feed. No point wasting a nappy. Your midwife seems to have it very wrong.

Congratulations on your baby. I hope you get some better support as needed. I've found the maternity HCPs either great or terrible, no in between.

Ignore the midwife, there is no schedule at that age and you can never over-do it! In the newborn days I fed 10-20 times per 24 hours which was great for my supply. It got less as he got older and I fed him for 16 months in the end.

Congratulations and your new arrival and well done for getting through these made early days of feeding.
Ignore midwives - oddly, they don't have much experience on bf. All you need to worry about when establishing feeding is to feed on demand (every 1-1.5 hrs is totally totally normal) and make sure you offer the second breast after they've come off the first (if they haven't fallen asleep after the first).
As long as their weight is gaining and you have plenty of wet and dirty nappies each day then all is well.
If you get any soreness, don't forget to find specialist help through local milk spots or LLL groups. Multi mam nipple compresses (from Boots or Amazon) are the best for healing sore nips!
Good luck x

Oh by the way, the only time I did the feed-change nappy to rouse-feed again technique was in the night to try to get a longer period of rest between feeds. Sometimes it worked, mostly not anyway

There was a study that showed that internationally the average for newborns to feed is every 45 minutes for 10 minutes. This three hour nonsense is entirely informed by a bottle feeding culture. As long as baby is weeing, pooing, and gaining weight, you should feed entirely responsively.

Every 3 hours at 5 days old? That’s the kind of unhelpful advice that made me feel like I was failing. I’d suggest that if he’s still feeding like that in 3/4 weeks then follow her advice to start getting into a routine but at this stage just go with what’s working for the both of you. Babies are used to getting a constant source of food through the placenta and can’t suddenly go from that to every 3 hours

Glad to hear the general consensus is it’s nonsense. Struggling with the night times, it’s so hard not to feel resentful of your partner whilst they lie there asleep and your eyes are rolling back in your head trying to stay awake! I’m sure we’ll get there tho.

I hear you about the resentment OP... I have to say that only increases as the happy newborn hormones wear off. I used to make DH get up and do the nappy change at the beginning of each feed, and the winding/holding upright when she developed reflux. The odd thing about bf hormones though is that even when they are (much) older and have dropped night feeds and so your DH can do resettling, when they wake you do anyway. Half the time I found it was just easier to do it myself.

It's really tough at night op. Get your partner to do everything else (nappy change, winding, settling) and you literally just feed. That's what we did.

I was advised to wake new born every three hours from the start of each feed, assuming she hadn’t already feed so my babies didn’t go too long between feeds. Could have something got lost in translation?

Saw a different midwife today, she said the only reason what I’m doing isn’t as good is because it’s knackering for me! We had a v long labour and were in hospital over the weekend for jaundice so she said the fact I’m persevering is fantastic. Which made me sob man this is a rollercoaster of emotion!

Thank you all for the reassurance and advice. X