I want to stop breastfeeding by don’t know where to start

[Eminybob]

Ds2 is 14 months and an avid breastfeeder. I think he’d prefer to breastfeed over having solid foods tbh!

I really want to stop but I just don’t know how. He can go all day at nursery without me but if I’m there he wants to be up on me all the time, whinges, pulls at my top etc. Plus he wakes a couple of times a night to bf.

I probably haven’t helped myself as I feed him to sleep for bedtime, wake ups and naps, and have no other way of getting him to sleep. Dh can’t put him down. He just cries and cries until I give in and feed him, or if I’m not in the house he’ll eventually wear himself out.

I just want my boobs back! And want to be able to wear normal bras again! And ideally get a full nights sleep too.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

I'd start with self-settling/settling without breastfeeding at bedtime. Go out and let DH do it for a week. He can cuddle/sing/pat him.

Once he can go down at bedtime without breastfeeding you can cut the night feeds. Again, have DH go in to him with a bottle of water and cuddles.

Lots of distraction in the day if he's whingy and pulling at you - get up, go for a walk, offer a drink, snack, new toy.

Maybe keep breastfeeds to particular times/places like when he wakes in the morning and from a nap, and only in a chair in his room.
Offer milk in a cup at snack times and bed time.

You have to stop breast feeding him to sleep. That is why he is waking you at night.3-4 meals a day ( sometimes a little porridge for supper) If he has a nap at nursery without a feed he can do it

I want to stop too!
Following for advice

My Ds is a bit older than yours and has recently given up wanting feeds through the day. I have been explaining to him that he's a big boy now and he doesn't need it, I also started the distraction thing, offering snacks, new activity etc but he still wants it when he's sad or poorly.
We're still feeding to sleep and first thing in the morning, I too, am stuck and want my boobs back!

Thank you, some good advice here.

I know I need to stop feeding him to sleep, dh has tried to put him down a couple of times but I can’t bear to hear him so sad, so inevitably go in and feed him. I do have a couple of nights out soon so maybe I’ll use that to kick start it.

At nursery he’s apparently a different child. Eats whatever is put in front of him, naps without assistance

It was never my intention to still be feeding him, I planned to stop before he was 1 but it seemed easier to carry on. Now is the time though! We have a holiday coming up in April and I’d like to get him off the boob before then. We are all sharing a room so I could do without him waking up ds1. Plus would like to wear some non breastfeeding friendly swimsuits!

I never managed night time weaning. I think it would be easiest if you are able to be physically apart from him for a few nights. I never could bear the cries and ended up sticking with night feeds until my DD naturally weaned (with encouragement from me) not longer after she turned 3.

Day weaning I did manage earlier on. Lots of distraction and offering her water and cows milk and snacks. Had some help from my mum who would visit a lot so if DD started asking to be bf I could disappear upstairs or go out for a walk and leave her with my mum. I did bf her in the day when she got sick, or if she was really, really upset, but otherwise didn't. (I feel like I'm coming across as too soft or something but it all worked out fine for us).

I'm still feeding a 15mo and wear normal bras during the day, and breastfeeding-unfriendly clothes
My dd only feeds first thing in the morning and to sleep when she's with me (at nursery and her dad's she falls asleep fine with no boob). That said, she's got an ear infection and a nasty cough and is completely off solid food at the moment so is temporarily feeding throughout the day. Can you start by stopping the feeds that aren't linked to sleeping? Then afterwards tackle the sleep? No advice on how - I just go for the easiest option which is to keep feeding, but my DD usually sleeps through. I don't know if it's necessarily true that your ds isn't sleeping though because he's breastfed - I know lots of non-bf babies the same age who still wake a couple of times a night.

I know, I usually follow the path of least resistance!

I actually said to someone yesterday that the best thing about going back to work is wearing normal bras! But I still do wear feeding bras on my days off. Maybe if I didn’t I’d be less inclined to give in.

To be fair his sleeping isn’t too bad. We had a horrendous spell of hourly wakings a couple of weeks ago (coinciding with going back to work/starting nursery) but he’s settled back into just waking twice, and last night it was just once.
I know breastfed babies that sleep through, and non breastfed babies that don’t, but DS1 started sleeping through instantly when I stopped breastfeeding him, although he was only 9 months so replaced the breast with bottle of formula so not really a fair comparison.

At nursery he’s apparently a different child. Eats whatever is put in front of him, naps without assistance
Isn't that reassuring to know though? He doesn't actually need to feed to sleep, it's just a preference and he is quite happy to settle himself if a boob isn't available. It makes it so much easier as you aren't actually going to have to teach him to fall asleep in a different way, he can already do that, you just have to not give in.
I would set aside a week where you go out from 6.30pm-8pm every night and your DH just puts him to bed.

Sorry no help but I have exactly this problem with my toddler (just over 1yo.) So watching with interest.