Still feeding like mad at nearly 14 months - could use some words of wisdom

[lyndyloo]

I have posted on here a few times about LO's bf habits. Although I have enjoyed feeding her I would like to give up now but she shows no sign of weaning. In fact she is feeding ALOT at the moment. What upsets me really is that she only seeks comfort in bfing. She won't just have a cuddle if she's poorly or upset, it always has to be bfing. Now I know that it is her way of getting comfort but it's hard.

I am also struggling with the notion of 'on demand', because I demand fed she now expects bfing on tap. At 14 months I don't think she needs or really should have it on demand. She will start demanding everything on that basis! Have really tried to distract her but once she is focused on it she won't be distracted at all!

Any advice? It's getting me down at the moment.

My dd was very much like this - I swear every time I sat down she would climb on my lap and lift my top, particularly if I was on the PC because she knew I'd give in In fact it got so bad that she once did it to dh when he sat down at the PC

In the end I decided to limit it to sleep time only and when she woke in the morning. She didn't like it much but it was either that or stop completely really. If she asked I would distract her with something else. After a few weeks it got much easier and I could have stopped if I'd wanted to.

I personally think it's fair enough to put some limits on it at this stage and probably easier than going cold turkey.

Did she have a massive tantrum when you refused? If so - did you just let her ride it out?

Agree with DiasyMOO that you should decide how many feeds you'd feel comfortable with (eg mornings and bedtime), then consistently distract DD with something else when she demands it at other times.

I've found that resistance is FAR easier after a good night's sleep (yeah, I know, easier said than done!), so maybe try to get an early night or two before you start.

Thanks ladies. Glad to know it's not just me!

Anyone else? I am torn between letting her self wean as Kelly mom philosophy suggests or just helping her along with it. Not sure if I could cope with the tantrums though if I deny her a feed.......

D'you know lyndyloo, I can't actually remember whether she had tantrums or not I would guess that she probably did but they were fairly short-lived or I'd remember! I do seem to remember that she was always very keen to go to bed I would just keep repeating "I know you want milk, you can have milk at bedtime" and then do something different, go into the garden, play a game etc. I probably wouldn't get into any kind of stand-off situation and try not to show if you're rattled. HTH.

Hi lyndyloo, had a v.similar exp to you with my youngest and was despairing at @15 months. Came on MN and got some really helpful advice, the best of which for me was along the distract distract distract line. I found, like yourself, that being at home it was very easy to give in and she really expected to be bf on demand so the advice I followed, and it worked was to have whole days out. At first I just tried going out for short periods, around the time she'd ask for a bf, armed with a nice ripe banana, some water in a beaker and mini breadsticks. I gradually managed to stretch these trips into longer and longer times. If my daughter asked at home for a bf I'd suddenly get up and say 'ooh, we just have to go to the shop' and quickly grab shoes & coat and just go for a quick walk to the shops/postbox, anywhere really taking a breadstick again or something. If she got really upset and wouldn't be distracted I would give in and just think of the feeds I had managed to cut out that day.

Another really helpful thing is to keep a food diary so just jot down each and every thing your daughter has including bf so you can see clearly what is happening.

Avoid doing the things you do while bf, like sitting at the pc, when she is awake if you can.

Try not to get too distressed, she will wean in time.

Hth and good luck.

Thanks Londoner. Some good advice!

Oh Lyndyloo you are soooooooo not alone in this. I had managed to cut dd (now 18 months) down to 2 feeds a day, using mostly distraction, but for the last 10 days or so I have been spending about 8 hours a day feeding her, and she is refusing almost all solids. If she doesn't get what she wants (and she actually asks for it by name now - boo-beee or beee-booo) then she screams and cries until I give in. If I didn't give in I think I would have felt like walking out and never coming back this week, and even with giving in it's been absolutely horrendous. DD is teething a little, and we both have horrible colds, so I'm putting it down to this at the moment. We're off on hols soon so hopefully that will prove to be enough of a distraction to get her back on track with her usual routine.

I'd def try and nip it in the bud now if you can, and use distraction during the day. Plan yourselves a busy week for next week, and don't expect to sit down and relax for a few days!

Good luck .

Oh dear.....well we are away for a few days so hopefully I can keep her occupied. Your LO sounds like mine! When she wants it, she will not be put off and is a baby on a mission!

I am in the same boat as you Lindyloo.
DD is almost 20 mths old and constantly feeding. I want it to stop but she obviously enjoys bf and is still waking 2 or 3 times a night (once on a good night)
I think I will try the advice offered here (distraction) and see if I can get it to morning and bedtimes only.