Formula woes

[RLI1105]

Hi everyone,

My baby boy is 17 days old and from day 1 feeding has been an issue. I was desperate to breastfeed but we had a prefect storm of issues being a tongue tie, my huge boobs with flat nipples. My son could never latch to me. Using shields I got a bad latch and was chewed to shreads. I received loads of support from lactation consultants, NCT and midwives but his weight gain has been very very slow and the stress of it all was crushing. (I actually wrote another thread about having panic attacks breastfeeding which is still below).
After a long conversation we made the decision to switch to forumla. I'm absolutely heartbroken I can't breastfeed but felt it was just best to get into a new routine and keep it moving. We'd had to start giving him top ups anyway so felt the transition would be fine.

Anyway, it's still been a nightmare. He was weighed on Friday and Monday and has not put anything on. You make up a 3oz bottle and it'll take an hour to have an oz and then you have to bin it. We have bought some ready made stuff just for ease and he'll drink those slightly quicker but again he'll have an ounce slowly. Can babies not like the powered stuff?! I know they're all virtually the same which is not comforting.
We have tried different bottle heads, faster ones and slower ones. One minute the slower ones are better, the next he is just needlessly sucking them and you're switching to faster. He'll also just spend time sucking the teat and not actually drinking.

He never had these issues with breastmilk which is making me even more distressed about not being able to feed him. Regurge wise he is not terrible but has had a couple proper vomits. Wet nappies are okay although he didn't have a poo yesterday and no sign so far today.

Has anyone had a similar situation with their baby? It's absolutely exhausting. The HV is coming back tomorrow to weigh him again and I'm terrified he'll have lost his weight/not put any on.

It sounds like you're having a tough time! Just a few thoughts although you may have tried these already...

Are you able to express milk and give that to him?
Have you tried different formulas? Mine didn't like the taste of Hipp of Cow and Gate and we've ended up on Kendamil which he laps up!

This is tough - my baby was a snacker too. What worked for us was changing the teat but I can see you have tried that.

Could he be sucking for comfort? Have you considered a dummy?

Have you tried offering it at a warmer or cooler temperature?

Mine hated aptamil, but loved cow and fate so it is worth trying different brands.

Well done on making the decision that breastfeeding wasn’t working. It’s a very tough decision to make if you want to breastfeed, which I did, and was devastated when I had to stop. You have made the best decision for your family, your son will be no worse off for it, and I hope these issues with feeding get better soon.

We have had similar issues. DS is ten days old, wouldn't latch no matter what (had the same issues when DD was born). With DD I ended up pumping and bottle feeding but I made myself really ill trying to keep up with it all and ended up with mastitis twice so I made the decision not to do it this time around.

For his age he is meant to be taking 3/4oz per feed but will only take about 2oz so his weight gain isn't enough for the midwifes to leave us alone!! He only lost 7% of his birth weight but apparently hasn't gained it all back yet so they are constantly telling me to get him to take more but I can't, if I try to get him to take more he either refuses or does take a bit more but is then sick!!

We tried lots of different teats until we found one that worked.

But I remember DS being such a slow drinker. He would take an hour or so to drink a couple of ounces. But the bigger he got the more he drank.

We also switched from cow and gate to aptamil, he also really like the pre made stuff, which while you are trying to just get him to put on weight I would use. There is no harm other than it's expensive but maybe for the next week or so it might be a good idea.

Have you tried pumping? If not, the medala pumps are the best in my opinion, but it's bloomin exhausting as you have to pump, AND wash and sterile bottles AND then feed. So it's like double feeding, but you could combi feed so one bottle of breast milk a day and the rest formula?

Thanks everyone for your messages, I really appreciate it. My husband thinks I'm getting myself worked up for nothing and that he's absolutely fine and just a bit fussy. He's a really calm baby (he never cries) but spends a lot of time awake and interacting and doesn't seem starving. Also the no poo situation was rectified today dramatically!

The health visitor is coming to weigh him tomorrow again. My husband seems convinced he's put on weight (could be saying this to chill me out!!).
We bought a Mr Browns bottle which he seems to like -I've ordered some more (what did people do before amazon?!)

@PinkSpring I could have written your post - I'm sorry you're having a tough time too. I feel all the health visitors coming and going stresses me out. A part of me thinks that maybe some babies are just different and don't gain weight in a linear fashion. I am proper clinging onto everything though - every bloody oz! All my family keep saying to just relax and that if there was something wrong as a parent you would know which I suppose is right.

@SproutMuncher Thanks for your message specifically what you said about it breastfeeding. Everyone in my life has been so supportive but you're always so hard on yourself. All temperatures have been considered! 😂 We have been using a dummy to help with the hiccups. When he gulps to quickly he can end up with a bad run of them - giving him the dummy to suck does soothe him which is great and when they've passed we try again so this helps.

@sleepsuit I did express but my volumes died an absolute death after a couple of days without him suckling. It would take me an hour to get 50mls with a good Medela pump and you're supposed to do it 2-3 hourly which was just unfeasible. It might be a case of buying different stuff but I feel like identifying a decent bottle is the first step. The cost of babies is just shocking 😂

@MrsTumbletap as I said to @sleepsuit , I did express with a good pump and my volumes dropped really significantly and quickly. I think you could be right about the ore made stuff. I'm going to see what his weight gain (hopefully!) is tomorrow. If it is still Poor we will just buy the dearer stuff.

Thanks again everyone!