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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Help! My baby is refusing the breast

17 replies

Lovelove · 27/08/2007 21:49

Can anyone help? Recently my three month old DS's feed before bed has become a nightmare, he'll feed for a few minutes, then start refusing, arching his back and getting very agitated and upset. It can go on for two or three hours on a bad night, or ten minutes on a good night. his other feeds are generally OK. Tonight I was so tired and sick of it all I gave in and gave him formula which he had without any problems. Any ideas what's going on? It's so upsetting for both of us....I've heard of babies refusing bottles but not the breast. Has anyone had this experience? And if so how did you deal with it?

OP posts:

foxcub · 27/08/2007 21:53

Lovelove - is he overtired or windy perhaps?

You could try feeding topless with him in just his nappy, in a nice quiet warm room away from any distractions. My baby refused the breast for a day at about 2 months and I found the skin to skin contact helped him latch on and stay on - we were both a lot more relaxed

Do you have a BF counsellor you can see, who can watch you feed?

Good luck

Jojay · 27/08/2007 21:55

My ds did this for a bit - he'd either refuse the breast completely, or take a v.small feed, and then fall asleep, or grizzle and then fall asleep, only to wake up an hour later as he hadn't taken a full feed.

I put it down to him being tired at the end of the day.

I used to give him a bottle of EBM instead - it's less effort to take a bottle ( as you found out!) and when young babies are sleepy it can be easier for them.

Might be worth a try.

Once he's a bit older, it probably won't be such a problem, as it'll require less effort on his part to feed.

puffylovett · 27/08/2007 21:55

maybe he has earache, or is teething, that can cause them to be in pain - and it's exacerbated when they are overtired as they usually are at the end of a long day ! they have to work hard at the breast, whereas the bottle is easy for them

maybe try having some expressed milk at the ready,if it's easier and less painful for him to take a bottle

is he napping well durin the day ?

uberalicelongbottom · 27/08/2007 22:00

My ds has done this occasionally and I think it's when he's overtired. Does your ds take naps during the day?

Original poster

Lovelove · 27/08/2007 22:03

Thanks for the ideas...Foxcub I have tried feeding him topless with him in his nappy, works occasionally, but not always. I felt a real failure because I'd given him a bottle (I know I'm being silly but I can't help it!) so its good to know that other people have been through this and come out the other side...

OP posts:

Original poster

Lovelove · 27/08/2007 22:06

Re napping, good point Uberalicelongbottom, he doesn't nap well at all during the day, I spend my lfe trying to trick him into it, there's no way in hell I could put him in his cot during the day, he just won't go down. I guess overtiredness could be the problem. Any tips on getting him to nap would be gratefully recieved!

OP posts:

yelnats · 27/08/2007 22:17

Does he sleep ok in his pram - dd2 usually sleeps quite well if we are out with her in the pram.
Is it possible that he has a preference to the opposite from the one you are feeding on at night? DD2 started to take a preference for my left breast at around this age and it was mainly at night initially - now she does it all day and I can only manage to feed her from my right side first thing in the morning when she is starving and occasionally the odd sneaky one in the day.

Jojay · 27/08/2007 22:18

The BabyWhisperer books have various techniques on getting babies to settle in their cots - I think the 'shush pat' method is appropriate for 3 months.

Have a look on the Baby Whisperer website, or the book is called 'The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems' by Tracy Hogg

I've known a few people have success with this method, and there's no leaving them to cry.

It will be hard work for a few days, and you'll have to be strong willed, b ut it sounds like you've got a lot to gain if you can get him napping well during the day.

Also, try not to let him stay awake for longetr than 2 hours at his age. If it's longer than that, he may be overtired and will fight sleep much more.

Good Luck

Original poster

Lovelove · 27/08/2007 22:21

He does sleep in his buggy, but less than he used to, I have to walk for miles to get him to drop off, then as soon as I get back in the house he's awake again. I suppose its good for shifting the baby weight, but v frustrating! And it means I never get to sleep in the day, so by early evening I'm as tired as he is and dreading the nightly battle to get him to feed.

OP posts:

uberalicelongbottom · 27/08/2007 22:22

Lovelove, sometimes babies have trouble getting to sleep if they're too tired. At that age my DS couldn't manage to stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time and he was a nightmare if I didn't put him down. He would usually grizzle for a few minutes before getting to sleep. Perhaps take him to his room for 10 mins of quiet time before putting him in his cot. And don't worry - he's still quite young and these things generally sort themselves out in time.

Oh, an afterthought - have you tried swapping sides when he gets upset?

Good luck.

Original poster

Lovelove · 27/08/2007 22:22

Thanks for some good ideas, going to bed now as completely knackered, but will check again in morning. I really appreciate your help guys!

OP posts:

puffylovett · 27/08/2007 23:10

i found the baby whisperer really helpful re body language and looking for their tired signs - at 3 months it was 2 yawns in quick succession, bung him in his cot ASAP and switch on his lullaby, and he started going off really easily.

sometimes i would either let him grizzle for 5 mins then offer him booby to fall asleep, or hoover him to sleep.

either way i had to train him but he naps well now and uberalice is right, its always at around the 2 hours mark, even now he's 6 mths.

Original poster

Lovelove · 28/08/2007 08:53

Today is a new day, thanks for all the ideas, have asked boyfriend to pick up a copy of the baby whisperer on his way home from work today.

OP posts:

Jojay · 28/08/2007 19:02

Good luck - I hope you find it useful

Original poster

Lovelove · 28/08/2007 20:49

Hurrah for the shush pat! it calmed him right down and he fed OK tonight, no formula at all. Phew! I'm hoping its not a blip....!

OP posts:

puffylovett · 28/08/2007 22:19

yay !! fingers crossed for you

Jojay · 29/08/2007 11:21

That's brilliant news Lovelove - I think it's a really good method, as there's no abandoning them etc, but it does teach them to go to sleep in hte cot, with minimal input from you.

Well done you!!

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