Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Trapped by breast feeding

11 replies

Latenighttv · 01/01/2020 04:06

Just read another post that described feeling trapped by breast feeding. I've been feeding for almost 3 months (prev fed my other son for 1yr) but lack of sleep with this one (prem baby) and that's totally how I feel, even a bit panicky at times. Any tips on how to think about this in order to motivate myself to carry on and not feel so anxious about it all. Thank you

OP posts:
HeyMac · 01/01/2020 04:12

The best thing anyone told me was that the days/nights are long but the years are short.
3 months they are still so little, the worst will be over so soon.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/01/2020 04:16

You have done brilliantly and you need to let go of any needless guilt. If breastfeeding isn't working for you, especially if it's affecting your mental health, then you need to switch to formula. You have done an amazing job caring for your baby, and you deserve all the praise in the world. If you feel you can't cope with breastfeeding from now on you should stop.

GAW19 · 01/01/2020 04:17

DD is 6 months and I felt the same.
I felt so helpless and like I couldn't do anything in life.
But then I say and thought about bottle feeding, i Felt so sad. I have been so lucky to be able to breast feed my baby when a lot of women don't even get the chance. It gives me the time to be selfish and spend personal time with her. The sleep, tidying, washing up etc can all wait, they are never going be this close to you again. They need us the most right now and I absolutely love the personal time we get together 🥰

AxeOfKindness · 01/01/2020 07:45

I completely relate as I felt similarly at that stage. I didn't believe people who said it all goes so quickly but looking back it really does.

All I can say is that my little one now only really likes breastfeeding at night and first thing in the morning and really prefers a bottle during the day so he can look around, not be in an uncomfortable position for wind, guzzle tons of milk in a few minutes to satisfy his giant appetite and hold his own food. And I sit there during the day slightly sadly, slightly proudly watching this lovely, ever-more independent little thing need me less and less and look back with rose tinted glasses at the exclusive breastfeeding days.

THAT SAID, do whatever you need to do to preserve your sanity and enjoyment of your baby. Everyone around me was supremely relaxed about whether I breastfed or not and it really helped me take the pressure off myself. It is nice to be able to hand him over to my husband to feed and skip off into the distance for a few hours!

AxeOfKindness · 01/01/2020 07:59

On a practical note, I remember that designating one feed a day in advance to be a bottle feed given by someone else (or me!) also helped ease the pressure as I knew I had that break to look forward to. Might not be for everyone, but it helped me.

YukoandHiro · 01/01/2020 08:06

It is so hard in the first months and it is normal to feel this way. Bf is a significant sacrifice but it will pay off in spades for both you and your daughter. After they start taking lots of solids (nearer a year than six months) there is a moment of great liberation and the second year is worth every moment of difficulty in the first.
You must do what's right for you and your family, but if you can keep going please do. It's such a rewarding relationship once you get past the constant bit. Think of all the money you're saving and buy yourself a nice treat as a reward. It's a hard job and you're doing it brilliantly Thanks

YukoandHiro · 01/01/2020 08:07

Oh sorry your son! I misread your post xx

Original poster
Latenighttv · 01/01/2020 15:10

Thank you all so much for the advice, everything always seems better in the morning!

OP posts:
NoMorePoliticsPlease · 01/01/2020 15:15

You will look back on this time as precious and fleeting, dont throw it away

Hepsibar · 01/01/2020 15:19

What is most important is you. And you are doing wonderfully. Try not to be hard on yourself whatever you do ... what's most important for your lovely baby is for you to be as happy and well and refreshed as possible so you can enjoy your days together.

LoisLittsLover · 01/01/2020 15:56

2 things that have helped me:

  1. for long feeds (overnight cluster feeds for us) watchung somethung on the ipad with headphones in as this helped me feel that it was a but of space whenni was feeling overwhelmed

  2. viewing night waking as my new normal rather than a problem- just the change in mind set helped me be more positive

New posts on this thread. Refresh page