Hate breastfeeding, but baby won’t accept a bottle

[Ameo]

DS is 6months old now and has been exclusively breastfed despite multiple issues - tongue tie, allergy and reflux. It’s making me really miserable, I feel suffocated now because I can’t leave him, get no time to myself and I am beyond exhausted with his constant waking up overnight and having to settle him alone (this is due to reflux i think, he wakes up choking and coughing at least once an hour). Our hospital appointment isn’t until February. I have been expressing milk for him to try in a bottle but he screams so much and holds his breath. I had hoped to introduce some bottle feeds with EBM as I am concerned about his gut health with the allergy so want him to have breastmilk if possible. A ramble that probably doesn’t make sense but I’m fed up, I want my life back, have time to take real care of myself, socialise, spend quality time with my older children. Any tips welcome

@hollyangel can I ask what methods your husband used?

I'm in a similar boat, I'm still BFing my 5 month old, been going for far longer than I thought. He takes a bottle but will NOT sleep at all without BFing to sleep. We co-sleep, which has worked well but I too want my husband to be able to settle him without me there and to put him in his own cot!!!! I'd like to get to this point before feeling exhausted and completely drained.

@ameo for what it's worth I think you're doing an amazing job. BFing is hard and relentless and you've obviously done the best you can for your baby!

Sounds like the silent reflux could be the main issue. DD1 has it. You can only aim to survive it.

Can you afford a cleaner?
Have you been in touch with Home Start?
Does your HV know you are struggling?

Stuff we did to survive:

DH would do dinner/bedtime whilst I drove to a nearby lay-by and slept in the car for 3 hours.

I went to bed with DD1 and DH went to the lay-by to sleep.

During the day, I would take circular bus rides with DD1 in the pram. She generally slept ok if moving. I took a pilllow & slept.

Local church run toddler group with lots of retired helpers. Someone would walk around the hall with her so I could have a coffee.

DH had one night a month away to sleep. No option for me.

DD1 got started on Ranitidine at 7 months after seeing Paediatrics. 2 nights a week we were able to give her weight based Calpol doses every 4 hours. This made such a difference.

She grew out of the silent reflux after she turned 1.

Bed sharing wise:

I swapped the duvet for a sheet & king size cellular blanket.

I put an oil filled radiator into my room set at 20 degrees so we were both warm overnight.

Often slept skin to skin. DD1 just in a nappy.

Lamp with 3 settings so I could see on the dimmest setting but it wasn't 'wake up' bright.

@sleepsuit What we started doing was I would feed him before bed and then my husband would bring him upstairs and lie down with him and then transfer into the cot. Once he was over one, he would take a sippy cup of co

Sorry, posted before I finished!

So he would take a sippy cup of cow's milk upstairs with them and again, lie down with him until he was asleep.

Made such a difference not to be the only person who put him to sleep.

My bottle refused eventually caved in with milk that was much hotter than I thought it should be - and with the teat inverted in the bottle during heating so that got warmed up too.

Worth a try?

My cmpa bottle refusing baby also refused solids until a year old but eventually did take expressed milk in a nuby straw cup.

Both my babies were bottle refusers but grew accustomed gradually to sippy cups between 6 and 8 months.

When I was desperate for a break, twice with each kid, I went out and DH squirted breastmilk into their mouths with a medicine dropper, 3mL at a time. Takes patience from him and baby, but those very occasional rough evenings for them did WONDERS for my mental health in the post natal period. Worth a try, so you get 5 hours out...?

Will try all these tips. I’m going to go back to the doctors to discuss the omeprazole dosage, I just can’t cope like this anymore. Husband isn’t helping the situation I’ve got no support and no one with any patience to take DS to give me a break (and persist calmly in offering milk). Never ending nightmare

How are things now Ameo?

The same unfortunately, still refusing a bottle. He will sip tiny amounts of water from a sippy cup. Sleep is awful. I don’t know what to do I just want my life back! Keep hearing how it’s all normal etc, but then I look around me and see other mums who are able to go out, have a nights sleep. He’s healthy and happy at least

Oh dear, you poor thing, it's hard, I know. At least he's happy! I'm sure you have tried absolutely everything by now... but just in case, have you tried giving him a bottle that's warmer than you have previously tried? Obviously checking its a safe temperature first. I've never been able to get a breastfed baby to take a bottle but I know others have been successful with this approach.

(Currently pregnant with DC5, and really don't want to spend the next 2-3 years breastfeeding again, so following with interest...!)

mine hated bottles but eventually accepted those MAM bottles that have a flatter textured teat.