Stop breastfeeding?

[Hoolahlah66]

I’m having a bit of a downer tonight and need a sounding board.
DS is nearly 5 months old and EBF apart from the occasional (once a week if that, when DH is alone and I’m out and he won’t settle) bottle of formula which he takes no problems. DS appears to be teething already and is very restless recently to the point where he feeds for about 2 minutes, and he will then arch his back worth around and just generally tug on me and scratch me rather than feed. I persevere like this normally for at least half an hour but he will just end up lying back and crying so I give up and try again once he is calmer. I’m finding feedings really stressful and upsetting in general and all I seem to get from DH is well it is the best for him, just be patient.

After a recent visit to the GP where he was weighed, we realised he has lost over half a KG since he was 12 weeks old, so he weighs less now than he did then. The GP didn’t notice so didn’t offer any advice at the time it wasn’t until we came home and put the weight in his book. We spoke with the nurse and she said not to obsess about his weight and to review it in the new year as babies fluctuate- but to me this seems quite a lot for a small baby?

For context, I have always had problems expressing hence why we give him the very rare bottle of formula as a last resort. I’m not sure why but the 3 pumps I have used I can only produce about 30ml on a good day, it doesn’t matter what I do. In regards to my supply I don’t have any problems hand expressing, producing quite a large jet (sorry for the wording!) and my breasts feel full, however they never leak like they did in the first couple of months, is this an indicator of milk production?

Anyway, I’m having a testy night feeling a bit useless and sad and just wanted some words of wisdom from any of you who have had similar experiences or can offer some advice. I always thought I’d never cave to pressure about breastfeeding but I feel like I’m failing and I can only assume the fear of failure stems from the pressure I have had put on me by health care pros and friends and family to breastfeed. (When I say pressure it’s more of a well it is best and you are doing the absolute best for your baby etc) does switching to formula mean I’m not doing my best. Am I giving up to easily?

Look I'm in the same position as you. Teething 5 month old who's trying to remove my nipple by force. Feeding all night. Literally uses me as a dummy. But she will not take a bottle.
So if you want to chat together that's fine.

But. You don't sound like you want to continue. You have permission to stop. It's your body. Only you get to decide what happens.

She's number 3 and I've BF all of them with no formula because that was my choice.
Don't make any decisions based on others.

What do you want to do?

I suggest calling the national breastfeeding helpline. Or the NCT feeding support helpline for some expert advice.

Is it a growth spurt maybe? Teething pain starting?

Weight isn't too much of an issue as long as plenty of wet and dirty nappies.

Also, boobs don't leak around this time as your body has gotten used to producing the right amount.

I could never express either, yet produced plenty of milk.

Whether you carry on or not is your choice. I was adamant about BF despite many difficulties so I kept going. With DC3 I think I put my baby before my own mental health though as it was very important to me to BF.

5 months is amazing. It’s so hard. And can be so isolating. The main thing is you need support not pressure. Your DH should be saying you can do what YOU want to do. Until he's had a baby suckling on his nipples till they bleed day and night, what you say goes.

If you start weaning soon, that might help?

I agree it's up to you. It's nothing to do with your husband. It's not his body and it's not on if he's going to make shitty remarks.
I'm up breastfeeding at the mo and I'm one month less than you and I know it's bloody hard. Yesterday I thought to myself j would give up but then I feel guilty because at the moment my baby won't take a bottle and I also see he is more sick when I have dairy so if I switch to formula it might make him worse.
I'm just going to persevere for now but it is hard mentally.

No, the pumping isn't reflective of what your baby would get by feeding on you. And also, maybe your baby just went through a growth spurt. I remember my granny saying babies get fat then slim then fat then slim as the bill up and then stretch out lengthways!

Don't fret too much op! And good for you for getting to five months already! That's great!

bulk up then stretch out that should say

Nobody has been particularly forceful with their comments but I think there’d definitely a culture around breastfeeding which I’ve personally felt would make me feel like I’ve failed. DH means well but it comes across as slightly pushy although he means to be supportive. I just need him to say it’s ok to stop rather than you are doing well keep going etc.
I don’t know what I want to do I’m just at the end of my rope tonight and it occurred to me that I don’t get any enjoyment from holding DS recently as I’m always holding him feeding. So any excuse to pass him to someone else, again this can’t be normal.

The only thing that is putting me off stopping BF iS the thought of pissing around with bottles.

I'm the same op. I am passing my boy over to dh a lot more than I was.

You're having a crappy night...make a decision about it when you've had some sleep and your baby isn't fussy.

You can stop and I'm sure your husband will support you. yes there is the bf culture whereby if you don't, you're not giving your baby the best....but you have for five months and that's amazing. As a pp said, you will be weaning soon so there will be a reduction in breastfeeding..maybe wait until then and see how you feel?

You certainly won't have failed at breastfeeding if you've done it successfully for five months. Far from it, many of us couldn't do it beyond five weeks! You've done jolly well.

In your position I would gradually introduce more formula feeding and tail off the breast. He'll be fine. However, it's up to you, I'm not a bf expert though did my best.

Who is going to make you feel you've failed anyway - I mean in real life. I can't imagine any young women I know who would be like that, especially as you've persevered so well.

Good luck.

Thanks all for your support. I really appreciate it. I have had a fairly good sleep and feel like I can look at it with more perspective this morning, it’s amazing how sleep deprivation can make to feel. I think I’m going to slowly introduce combination feeding just for my own sanity and also to make sure DS is putting on a healthy weight as I can’t help but worry and people all comment how slight he is despite him being born at a large weight. Thanks again, I hope you all have wonderful New Years!

You're doing amazing OP.
And remember they use sleep deprivation as a means of torture! Yet here you are getting up and getting on with everything.

All my BF babies were small. Don't know if that was BF or just being small? But I wish people would stop with the commenting. Even now my 9 year old gets told 'wow you're small for your age' says who???

I don’t get any enjoyment from holding DS recently as I’m always holding him feeding. So any excuse to pass him to someone else, again this can’t be normal.

This is normal. Hand him over to DH. I would feed, hand over, feed, hand over.

This time will pass.

I had the opposite issue of family HATING breastfeeding (with DS1). Telling me how selfish I was to do all the feeding myself

Combi feeding sounds best, so glad you had some sleep. Sleep deprivation isn't a form of torture for nothing!

BF is mentally tough and draining. I WILL get flamed for this, but BF is the better start IF you can do it. And everyone knows this, which is why you feel like you'd be failing if you stopped. You can only do your best. Which is sounds like you absolutely are x