BF 14 month old waking for night feeds

[mintandcoral]

After some advice or just reassurance that we are doing the right thing ...PFB and I just constantly feel like I'm winging it! (Apologies for the long post, trying not to drip feed).

My 14 month old DD is still BF (although at nursery 3 days a week and only occasionally feeds from me during the day now). She is showing no signs of wanting to self wean and I'm happy to continue to BF for as long as she wants. She has a big feed in the morning when she wakes at 6am and a feed before bed between 6-7pm.

Her routine is really predictable (predictability is main thing helping me survive right now!) Daytime naps aren't too much of a problem and nursery have no problem getting her down for two naps a day. However, recently she has dropped the afternoon nap (I don't know if this is linked in some way?)

She goes down between 6-7pm and on a bad night will wake at 9pm but always settles with a cuddle. However, she will then wake from 12pm onwards for feeds from me. Previously DH was able to soothe her and put her back into the cot after a feed. However, in the last fortnight she has been waking at 12 and nothing will settle except staying in bed with me. She will then only sleep latched onto me. If I unlatch her she will snuffle around and cry until she is back on, then falls asleep and will then feed on and off until she wakes at 6am. Because of this, the majority of nights, we now usually end up co-sleeping and it's impossible for me to sleep properly with her constantly latching on/off and wriggling.

Last night my partner tried to soothe her after the first feed at 12 and she was inconsolable. After about 50 minutes of crying I couldn't cope with it anymore and took her back, whereupon she latched on and instantly fell asleep.

The plan is for me to sleep in the spare room for three nights this weekend and DH to do wake ups, settling her with rocking and shushing and then putting her back in the cot. Is this a good idea? I really don't want to traumatise her. I am away for my first night away in January and two nights in a row in February and the thought of leaving her distressed is causing me so much anxiety. We don't have family living near by so it's always just been me and DH (we have never had a break) and so she isn't used to being soothed by anyone else (although nursery have no problem getting her down for her nap in the morning). Any advice appreciated!

I feed mine a bit then say that’s it boobies have to refill do you want a cuddle instead. There’s a few tears but not much. Sometimes we do end up singing nursery rhymes at 3 am as well

Hi. I still feed our almost 2 year old. Only once a day at night as also work full time. In general I wouldn't worry too much at 14 months. DD was comfortably over 16 months before she started to reliably sleep through and even now if she's teething or otherwise unwell it's not unusual to have a quick feed in the night. Mostly this isn't needed and very gradually over the last year we've needed to do night feeds less and less.
As for going away I'm no expert but DD seems to be able to sense when I'm away and there's literally no other option and settles happily with DH. Can't see any harm in trialling it with you in the spare room - but she needs to think you're not available. Perhaps just do the odd night to start with. Good luck

I night weaned DS at 21 mo as he understood much more. Never took DH as an alternative if I was in the house at all. We read 'LOving Comfort' Every night for bloody months then offered cuddle first before feed, and countdown to delatch rather than fully back to sleep. Kept bedsharing.

Then when we went for it, 3 nights and done, virtually no tears.