Help: feeding on demand - I've had enough!

[fatslag]

I am tearing my hair out. ds2 is 10 weeks old. He has always been a very healthy eater, loves breastfeeding etc. He looks like a little hippo and has put on loads of weight.

I have always believed in feeding on demand, despite opposition from DH who is fat-phobic (he weighs 9 stone fully dressed). However, I am getting to the stage where I too am beginning to get impatient for baby hippo to space out his feeds just a teeny bit. From 6 a.m. he feeds at least every 2 hours, if not more often. He is demanding again now (1 3/4 hours after last feed).

He also cluster (!) feeds in the evening, 7 pm, 8 pm, 9 pm before bed, but then at night he is really good and often goes to 4 a.m. before feeding again.

Today I am trying to make him go 2.5 hours between feeds. I have noticed already that he is taking much more milk at each feed even though (so far) it doesn't seem to be satisfying him for long!

Advice, please. AIBU? I know he's only a little squirt and I don't want to be mean to him.

first of all, congratulations on making it this far! you've done really well already!

when my ds was that age he would have a 2 hourly cycle - feed for an hour-hour and a half, then i'd wind and change him and he'd want feeding again. everyone kept telling me he should go 3 hours between feeds at that age, but he only just goes 3 hours now and he's almost 8 months! just keep feeding on demand, it is the best thing to do, as you already know. is there anyway you could get a sling so you can feed him on the go? i found this worked well for us.

as for your "fat-phobic" dh, you might like to point out to him that bf babies are at lower risk of obesity later on in life!

Some babies just don't go long periods - DS3 (13 weeks) is Formula fed - and even he only manages 1 1/2hr - 2 1/2hrs between feeds (and he takes a lot of milk at each feed). Like you my only respite is when he goes down at night.

You're doing REALLY well - hope others give you some more advice (sling - as mentioned is a great one)

Aw, fatslag, baby hippo sounds normal! But there is nothing 'mean' about helping a bruiser of a 10-week old to space feeds out a little, when you are sure, as you are, that he's thriving and you and he have a lovely relationship (which you seem to!)....if you can space the feeds out to (say) 2.25 hrly for some of the day, and keep him happy, then that's fine.

Maybe set your sights a tiny bit lower for the moment - making him wait 45 mins for a feed is probably too ambitious, what do you think?

When the weather is warm and sticky, as it is at present (at last), some babies end up feeding more often to slake their thirst, so you'd need to watch his reactions. Obviously, if he shows signs of being hot and sweaty, and upset and fractious, you would just feed him.

His cluster feeding is almopst certainly linked to this great long sleep he is having at night, so there would be no point in messing with the timings here, IMO.

OTOH, going with the flow is an option, as this time will pass, and when he gets to about 6 mths he can start feeding himself with solids, and have other drinks he can enjoy feeding himself with, from a cup..and that's not long to go

Congratulations on getting this far, you should be extremely proud of yourself.

Secondly, you have my sympathies. My dd is 15wks, exclusively bf on demand and feeds every 1.5-2hrs day and night. She's a regular little tank and officially the chubbiest baby in the East of England.

If you really, really want to impose a routine and space your ds's feeds out then of course you can and more knowledgeable people than me will advise. However, if you are tempted to continue then I can tell you two things. One, this is a normal feeding pattern, don't worry. Two, lower your expectations of everything else ie the housework can quietly wait.

And bugger that 'fat' issue, you cannot overfeed a bf baby. He is laying down fat stores ready for all the crawling, running and jumping he's planning.

would say go with it - he might be building up for a growth spurt.

my ds started to space out feeds a bit more when i could get him to sleep during the day. Does he have naps or does he do what mine did which is feed and doze at the same time?

yes echo the at fat issue. some babies are meant to be fat. mine had man boobs on his man boobs on his man boobs!

(((((((baby boy's manboobs)))))))

They are the cutest things!

He has nothing but growth spurts, he should be about 5 ft tall by now!!!

But thanks, ladies for your advice. I have tried the sling, but maybe because of my hamfistedness, he just doesn't settle in it. I have never managed to get him into a position where he is even comfortable, let alone offer him a comforting nipple. DS1 loved his sling and used to go to sleep in it but DS2 and I are making no headway at all.

I don't believe in routines, either and think he should just find his own path, but I just can't understand how he is so hungry all the time.

So am I

Ok, here's the thing. I gave in just now after 2.45 hours. Baby Hippo took one boob (he usually has two) and fell asleep. I've just put him back in his crib. So is he hungry or is he tired? Often he only catnaps for about 45 minutes and doesn't manage to have a really good sleep.

I get peed off with all the stupid baby books you can get, but I understand why people buy them because sometimes you have to be such a detective to work out what it is they want!

my guess is that he may be tired and is perhaps using you as a way of getting himeself back to sleep during the day when there is loads of things to look at at learn. No reason why this should bother you though, as he is not going to overeat. At around you ds age i did put mine down for a nap midmorning which meant i had one > 3 hour gap between feeds.

DS3 only naps for 30-50 minutes during the day too - I've decided I'm just going to have to put up with it LOL.

Does he have a dummy? He might just want to suck.

Yes he has a dummy, but he's not very interested. He would really like to suck his fingers but he hasn't worked out how to do it yet.

But I think witchandchips is right, sleep is really the key issue. This morening BH has just fed and cat-napped. My boobs are sore. He hadn't managed to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time - DS1 is 4, noisy, there is the washing machine, life etc. going on. At 12 he was howling again so I put him in his bed. He went to sleep for 30 minutes and woke up. I let him grumble and complain for 20 minutes and now he is FAST asleep and hasn't had a feed since 10.45 (it's 1.20 here).

I have to say that sometimes you just HAVE to let them grizzle for a bit. As long as they are safe in their beds and they are not coughing, choking or turning purple, a bit of a grizzle won't hurt!

(Ducks down behind barricade)

Anyway, I hear renewed grizzling, this time he has been in bed for nearly an 1 1/2 which is MUCH better. Would still like him to have a proper nap at some point but hey, baby steps! Maybe I'll feed him this time...