Advice/Reassure please...Tiktok are you around?

[Washersaurus]

You seem to know a thing or two when it comes to bf maybe you could help me out please? I think I just need some reassurance.

DS2 is 3.5 weeks old. He is incredibly sleepy during the day but feeds approx every 2.5/3 hrs as I offer it to him. He doesn't always seem to finish a whole breast and doesn't always have both sides (usually he falls asleep half way through and can't be stirred).

During the night he feeds a lot (which doesn't bother me that much as I realise it is normal), but having slept a lot during the day he is very alert and restless (crying). I have to sit up with him for around 2/3 hours most nights until he eventually settles.

He seems healthy - not dehydrated, he is pooing and weeing OK etc. He seems to be gaining weight, although I am avoiding HVs and have not had him weighed. He does sometimes struggle to latch on properly at night, especially if I try to feed lying down, and squishes my nipples leaving them very sore.

I guess I'm just wondering if this sounds normal to you, and whether there is any way I can encourage him to be more alert during the day? (We have tried the usual suggestions of undressing him etc).

My mind has gone completely blank and I can't recall what DS1 was like at this stage and what we did re: feeding, sleeping etc.

I am soooo tired though, poor DS1 is losing out on fun activities because I have no energy left to play with him . I'm not sure how long I can carry on with only 3 hours sleep each night.....

Sorry for the long waffle

Washer, I am no bf expert but it all sounds oh-so-familiar. DD slept most day and kept us up most nights throughout her first month more or less. HV told me that around 1 month they begin to wake up a bit more in the day and take some interest in their surroundings, and she was broadly right.

To encourage their rhythm to switch the right way around you can try to stimulate him a bit during the day (tho' as you say can be hard work), take turns with DP at night (we used to alternate "shifts" of c 3 hrs thru the night cuddling and rocking her), keep light and noise low at night etc until he gets the message.

Ref sore nipples, I think DD was over 8 weeks old when finally started getting better. No particular latch probs, just first baby so nips were getting used to it all. She practically runs around the room with my nipples in her mouth these days (8months shy) and doesn't even register anymore

In short, bumping for you, but he'll probably snap out of it shortly by himself tbh, hope it gets better soon for you.

Thanks SBW, reassuring to know! He does seem to be a little bit more awake today, hopefully this will result in a more peaceful night (fingers crossed)

Still not sure why my nipples are so sore though, his latch seems fine most of the time and I breastfed DS1 until he was 12 mths without a prob . Sometimes it looks like my nipple has been squashed flat!

I also meant to mention that when he feeds from my right side he frequently coughs and gags - is there anything I can do to stop this does anyone know?

Again, I'm no expert, but he sounds like a pretty avaerage bf 3wk old to me.

Does he prefer the right side when he feeds? Ds2 always favoured my left boob and as a result the supply was better and the let down much quicker, so he would cough and gag as the let down started. I think when they are still tiny and their mouths are tiny they do tend tosplutter a bit when they get a big rush of milk.

Are your nipples just sore when you feed lying down? I use to find it quite uncomfy lying down until he got a bit bigger and less floppy. Once he was a bit easier to manouvere it was less sore.

Can't help with the sleeping as ds2 is he world's worst sleeper at 7mo so clearly whatever I did isn't to be recommended .

Olihan; He actually favours the left side and never coughs or splutters when feeding from this side. He usually coughs midway through when feeding from my right side - so don't think it is to do with the initial let down.

Feeding lying down does seem to cause the soreness but it does carry on into the next day too. I can remember lying down to feed being a problem with DS1 until he was bigger too - I am just so exhausted now that I struggle to sit up and feed at night for fear of dozing off and dropping him.

I know it is still early days and do expect him to wake frequently to feed in the night, but having to sit up for 3 hours to calm his crying on top of the 1-2 hourly night feeds is a tad tiring [yawn]

hi washer, sounds totally normal for a 3 week old baby. he's so little, he is just adjusting to the world. it's common for babies to be awake at night - they would do this in the womb too, as this is when you are still and not rocking them to sleep anymore! so it takes a while for their sleep patterns to sort themselves out. all you can do is gently encourage it by keeping things low key at night and more interesting in the day. but apartfrom that, your baby will sort out night and day in due course. in the meantime, i know it's really tough on you sleepwise. do the best you can, get rest where you can. it will pass, get easier soon.
as for feeding lying down, it just sounds like the latch might not be as good in that position. is there a bf group you could go to? i know at ours, we are always getting women to lie down and try lying down feeding. it really helps get through the night if you can do that easily.
best of luck. you're doing fab!
xx

Washer, all this can very easily be all part of the normal 'adjusting to life on the outside' that many newborns and their mothers experience. It would be really helpful for you to have a dialogue with someone, a real life conversation, and how about calling one of the bf lines for this?

You need help and support with all the other stuff you have to do, including caring for your first child - hope you've got that

Thank you all for the reassurance. I guess it is just a case of carrying on as we are and hoping he adjusts sooner rather than later

Tiktok; thanks, I might get in touch with one of the bf support lines about the feeding issues if things don't improve.

I fed DS1 for 12mths successfully, until he weaned himself - I am hoping to reach that point with DS2 . I just seem to have blocked out what happened with DS1 feeding/sleep-wise during the first month ...mind you I did have the luxury of being able to nap during the day first time around.

My DD latches on much better when lying on top of me ('breastcrawl' style) rather than by my side. If you haven't already seen the vid. and read the comments posted on here back in July (?) might be worth a look if you haven't tried it already?

breastcrawl

Agree with Olihan about feeding lying down getting easier when hey are a bit older. DS2 wasnt good at feeding lysing down until he was around 3-4 weeks old. This was also when he started to be more awake during the day and sleep more at night.
Re the spluttering, it sounds as if your let down might be stronger on your right side (I have this with my left side).
Not too much you can do about that but I find that feeding from only one side per feed helps a little.
Do hang in there, breastfeeding IS hard work in the first few weeks but soon settles down and falls into place.

Thanks again everyone, I am persevering with the night feeding sitting up rather than lying down at the moment, I will try that again in a week or so. DH and I have been taking it in turns at night to stay up with DS2 for an hour or two at a time so at least we are getting some rest, and DS1 seems to have got used to the crying and isn't getting woken up too much now.

Despite my continuing lack of sleep I am feeling more positive about things now. It would take much more to make me want to give up bf anyway

I do remember watching the breastcrawl video a couple of months ago. I really wanted to try it straight after delivery, but the midwife had DS clothed and swaddled and wearing a hat before I time to sit up in bed to hold him ....my own fault for not having birth plan I suppose, but I'm sure they asked me what I wanted to do last time